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Original poster

How do I leave my job?

46 replies

flamed12 · 26/03/2019 22:00

I am at my wits end with coping with a 2 year old and 6 year old and working. I started 6 months ago full time (45 hours). I didn’t need to work but wanted to as I was worried about my future potential earnings after taking 2 years out.

I got offered a full time role (this one) and a very part time one. I took the full time one as the job was in a similar industry as I was in previously.

But in reality it’s shite. The people are awful and the job is painfully boring. There’s not enough work so I spend most of my day bored counting down the hours. This is time I want to be spending with my kids.

In January I asked to drop a day and they very very reluctantly agreed. I’m not sure why they were so against it as there’s still not enough work to keep me busy!!

Also it’s a small team and one person acts like the team leader as he’s more experienced. Everyone comes to him to do jobs/for help. Even though I might end up doing the job they will come to him then he will come to me. Then when This person is training me and another team member he won’t look at me at all. He will talk to the other person as if I’m invisible.

I literally dread every day and from Monday to Thursday I’m just existing. My two year old is exhausted after nursery and often falls asleep on the way home so I get to see her for 20 mins in the morning before I leave at 7:30am.

And honestly I’m just done in. I feel like I could cry at any minute.

How do I leave though. My boss goes on holiday next week for 2 weeks so he’s not going to be around. I have a 4 week notice period too. And then there’s the fact that everyone will be angry I’ve messed them about in their eyes. Taken on this role then leaving within 7 months. I can’t face the whole leaving palava either. I don’t want a fake speech or anything. No one speaks to me, no one knows me, they don’t approach me for anything. It’s the strangest place. I just wish I could disappear tomorrow from it all.

OP posts:
Etino · 26/03/2019 22:03

Just give them notice and leave! Don’t faff about with his holiday etc. Give notice next tomorrow.

Original poster
flamed12 · 26/03/2019 22:11

Thanks. I know I should and I know I need to for my own happiness but I feel like a complete idiot. I was so looking forward to starting this job and learning new skills having more money etc. But I miss my kids so much and the money seems worthless. I don’t need all the extra stuff I’ve spent the money on. I’d rather be happy and with my kids more. We will still eat, live comfortably and have holidays.

OP posts:
Original poster
flamed12 · 26/03/2019 22:13

I honestly just feel like a failure and embarrassed I guess to admit I made the wrong decision. That I can’t handle it. And that I messed up. I worry I’ll regret it. (When the 2 year old is driving me crazy!)

OP posts:
Rafabella8 · 26/03/2019 22:17

Hand in your notice and leave. No ifs ands and buts. Just do it. In 4 weeks and 1 day you'll be free of it. Chalk it up to a bad experience, and try something else - even part time if it feels right. In the meantime just enjoy your kids.

Original poster
flamed12 · 26/03/2019 22:21

Thank you. My OH says just leave. Just do it. Every single day as he’s sick of seeing me miserable. So the more people I hear it from the closer I think I’ll be to do it. I’m annoyed at myself for putting myself in this situation. I have bad anxiety and the thought of having that conversation makes me feel even worse.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 26/03/2019 22:21

Money isn't everything. But this time while the dc are young will go by so quickly, before you know it they're not kids any more. You'll never get this time back.

Singlenotsingle · 26/03/2019 22:23

And you don't need to have a conversation with anybody. Write out a resignation letter and hand it in.

onegrapeshortofabunch · 26/03/2019 22:25

Just leave. You haven’t messed them around, they’ve messed you around. Spend some time figuring out what to do. But first, hand in your notice: tomorrow!

Marmighty · 26/03/2019 22:26

Just imagine the weight lifted from your shoulders when you've handed in your notice. You'll wonder how you stood it for so long. It's not a flaw in you, it sounds a deeply depressing and dysfunctional place to work. You and your children are worth more. Good luck!

SelkieRinnNaMara · 26/03/2019 22:29

If you can afford it, leave. I like my current job but the job before the one i have now, it was awful. They sacked me!! So i wish id just left. I stuck it out only to be sacked.

MairzyDoats · 26/03/2019 22:29

Seriously, if you can afford it just go. Hand in a letter, and leave. Who cares what they think of you, you'll never have to see them again! And don't wait for too long, this is time you'll never get back with your children.

Original poster
flamed12 · 26/03/2019 22:31

@Marmighty thanks. It’s nice to know you think so. In my last work place everyone was so friendly and I truly enjoyed their conversation.

This place everyone is quiet. No one knows anything about me personally and like wise with everyone else. No one takes a lunch break (i do, it’s my only joy).

There’s literally no relationships between colleagues. I walk In and say good morning to my co worker In my team and he grumbles something like morning but so grumpily. It’s depressing.

OP posts:
SelkieRinnNaMara · 26/03/2019 22:50

Omg leave. I was really offended and upset when the job i was sacked from told me i wasnt a good fit. But now im in my current job, i think damn right i was not a good fit amongst that crew of bullies.

I feel there would have been dignity and self efficacy in just resigning. Being the one to reject them.

Original poster
flamed12 · 26/03/2019 22:53

Do you think I could just go off sick and never return?

OP posts:
Wowserme · 26/03/2019 23:00

Yep!
Then you can possibly get yourself a nice little part time job so that you and your family can all have the best of both worlds.
Stress and misery will only make you ill Flamed12, and don’t beat yourself up you’re not losing face at all, my motto is and always will be better to have tried and failed rather than not having tried at all.
Get out of there ASAP, big hugs sweetheart 🥰

IAmRubbishAtDIY · 26/03/2019 23:37

Everyone has made a mistake at some point with accepting a job. I'm on my third mistake, currently looking for something to apply so I can leave and I've been here less than a third of the time you've been there.

GreenTulips · 26/03/2019 23:43

Yep I did the same - lasted 5 months, my predecessor lasted 2 days and the one before that 4 months!!

DH said just hand your notice in, so I did.

I didn’t go off on sick bit was very tempted.

Call in sick.

Email boss ‘I hereby give X days notice of my intention to leave’ less X holiday owed.

Take 5 days leave and see how you feel - if you don’t want to face it go to the GP for a sick notes

Sakura7 · 27/03/2019 00:26

It's sounds very similar to a previous job of mine with the weird atmosphere, unfriendly people, boring work, etc. It is soul destroying. You're lucky that you're able to afford to quit so just do it. Life is too short to feel this unhappy when you don't need to. I doubt anyone will complain that you've messed them around, people leave jobs all the time.

There are better workplaces our there, if and when you want to find another job.

Sakura7 · 27/03/2019 00:41

Also just to say, I spent way too long in that job (almost two years). I was so miserable and anxious about the thought of leaving, that I couldn't see the wood for the trees. When I finally left, it was such a relief. I was so worn out I ended up taking a few months off, with the intention of looking for another job but I actually started freelancing. So much happier now.

Original poster
flamed12 · 27/03/2019 09:35

Thanks.

In work now and my boss is either off or late so I can’t do it yet. Just want it out the way.

Having a busier day than normal and it typically makes me question myself.

OP posts:
IAmRubbishAtDIY · 27/03/2019 10:12

Maybe you are questioning yourself because you can see a way out, you can hand your notice in and leave so the pressure is off a bit?

Original poster
flamed12 · 27/03/2019 11:16

Yes maybe that’s why. The thought of it being real and actually happening makes me terrified! But the thought of continuing is this depressing role is also terrifying.

OP posts:
Celeriacacaca · 27/03/2019 11:20

Sounds a dysfunctional workplace so resign and get out as it sounds as if your confidence is suffering already. Life's too short and all that...

Travis1 · 27/03/2019 11:50

Honestly if you can afford to leave then do it. I took a job and almost from day 1 knew it wasn't for me. Stuck it out for 6 months but had a meeting one morning and came out went to my desk(in my little room on my own where noone spoke to me and I had basically no work) and broke my heart. Emailed the two bosses saying I had a headache and was going home and never went back. Signed of sick for a month, started looking for a new job, found one fairly quickly, resigned with immediate effect. No regrets. It was utterly soul destroying.

Cantdecidewhere · 27/03/2019 11:54

Would you ring the company who had offered you the part time position and see if they have anything else available? But yes, hand in your notice and get out of the current place.