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Original poster

How do you deal with silent treatment from partners?

31 replies

Drinkandknowthings · 21/03/2019 18:46

Been married for 7 years and DH is giving me the silent treatment over something I said yesterday, I think. I don’t see why I should go running after him to placate him and ask what’s wrong. So how do you deal with it? He’s not completely blanking me - we’ve had a few quick words about the DDs and dinner.

He’s never done this before.

OP posts:
BlueMerchant · 21/03/2019 18:48

I give the silent treatment too. My OH can't put up with this and starts talking after a day or so.

scaryteacher · 21/03/2019 18:48

Go and have a bath, talk to the kids, shave your legs, read a book, listen to the radio. give him a damn good ignoring as well. Treat it as a night of not having to be nice, just like he's away. Make up the spare room for you or him as well, and have a peaceful night.

BestBeforeYesterday · 21/03/2019 18:49

Ask him wtf is wrong and tell him you will not accept being treated like that!

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Fluffyears · 21/03/2019 18:54

I tell him to stop ignoring me as it’s childish.

PoptartPoptart · 21/03/2019 18:56

I’d tell him to grow the fuck up.
Sulking is not an attractive trait.
Communication is the only way to resolve things, not ignoring someone!

Knittedfairies · 21/03/2019 18:56

Ignore being ignored and carry on as usual.

Chocolateisfab · 21/03/2019 18:57

Take ownership of the telly, sound system, take a book /coffee into the garden. Enjoy the peace and quiet..
That really pd exh off.
Ex.

Surely you deserve more than a stroppy teen man child op??

ChodeofChodeHall · 21/03/2019 19:02

Just ignore him, if he can't be reasonable enough to talk about it like adults. Flowers for you, OP.

JaneEyre07 · 21/03/2019 19:05

I'd go for completely ignoring him ignoring you.

Enjoy the peace and quiet, and don't show him one ounce of reaction.

That should piss on his parade.

Original poster
Drinkandknowthings · 21/03/2019 19:20

So far I’ve been ignoring the ignoring! This has been going on for 24 hours now! I’m surprised because he hasn’t done this before.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 21/03/2019 19:48

I would say "Can we talk about what's going on" and then we talk it through. Mardy huffs are not my style!

bilbodog · 21/03/2019 21:00

Ltb

muckypuppy · 21/03/2019 21:25

Almost 2 months in to silent treatment here. I realise we're finished, just at a stalemate.
Dont let it get this far if you have any feelings left for each other.

BackforGood · 21/03/2019 21:37

Well, if you've been married 7 years (and presumably together for quite a bit longer), and this behaviour is totally out of character, then I would definitely go to him and try to establish what has actually happened.
Don't you think a total change in behaviour is something to be concerned about ? Confused

I've not patience for people sulking and holding on to disagreements or not speaking for ages, but I would be worried about my dh if his behaviour changed, and I'd want to find what we could do to sort it out.

Cherrysoup · 21/03/2019 21:41

Almost 2 months in to silent treatment here. I realise we're finished, just at a stalemate.

Blimey, really? A mate of mum’s used to do this to his wife. I dunno why she tolerated him. I thought he was an absolute twat.

ChandelierSail · 21/03/2019 21:43

I couldn't be with someone so childish.

elQuintoConyo · 21/03/2019 21:43

Through the hanky pocket with a bread knife.

  • Joke. I'm quoting Jo Brand.
Palominoo · 21/03/2019 21:48

It's the one thing I would not have put up with.

My last ex was a bastard but he wasn't childish enough to not speak.

He had a friend who when pissed off with his partner, he wouldn't speak to her. Sometimes for weeks!

We were round there once and he would only speak through us and not directly to her. He was in his fifties!

My ex went along with it but I was having none of it. Ridiculous!

Op, I'd have to poke your partner in the ribs with a swift jab whilst speaking sharply, "Cat got your tongue?"

katseyes7 · 21/03/2019 21:48

My ex husband used to do this. After he'd read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, l was informed that if he chose to retire to his 'cave' and not speak to or interact with me, l should respect his wishes. lt used to go on for days, sometimes weeks.
l informed him that that was his right, and it was my right to choose not to be there when he decided to emerge from his 'cave'.

lt's ridiculous and juvenile. Like kids sulking. Which is one reason why he's an ex.

MozzchopsThirty · 21/03/2019 21:51

My exh used to do this, it's a control thing!
I would never ever put up with that shit again

I'm in a normal relationship now and never get ignored, who would do that???
Fucking controlling weirdos

donajimena · 21/03/2019 21:56

My partner tried this. Once. I told him if he carried on this way we'd be over. I fucking meant it too. He hasn't pulled the stunt since. Seriously, if you tolerate this it won't stop.

gamerchick · 21/03/2019 21:56

I give the silent treatment too. My OH can't put up with this and starts talking after a day or so

You're abusing your bloke?

My ex tried this stunt a couple of times. I told him to fuck off out the house and to come back when he grew up. He could have used it as a tool to go off and do whatever but he didn't, he learned it didn't get results. It's childish, pathetic and emotionally abusive.

Luckily I'm married to a grown up who communicates.

muckypuppy · 21/03/2019 22:01

@Cherrysoup I'm currently trying to work out how to get rid of the manchild without getting myself incarcerated.

My Dd's have now realised what is going on so this needs to end. Just the usual financial issues that need to be figured out along with breaking up a family. He's turned into Superdaddy of course.

HollowTalk · 21/03/2019 22:27

I wouldn't put up with it. Just say, "Stop being so fucking childish. If you can't talk about what's up then you shouldn't be married."

muckypuppy · 21/03/2019 23:36

Sorry for hijacking the OP's thread. Juar wanted to say I agrees it's emotional abuse and you don't need to put up with it.
Do as I say, not as I do.

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