How do you deal with silent treatment from partners?

[Drinkandknowthings]

Been married for 7 years and DH is giving me the silent treatment over something I said yesterday, I think. I don’t see why I should go running after him to placate him and ask what’s wrong. So how do you deal with it? He’s not completely blanking me - we’ve had a few quick words about the DDs and dinner.

He’s never done this before.

I divorced him.

Fuck that shit. My parents gave me the silent treatment any time they were pissed off. It’s no way to live.

DH did it once and I told him I wasn't fucking putting up with it and let's talk about it. So we let off steam, talked and got over it. No more silent treatment.

Life's too short.

As someone who is always first to apologise here. Assuming it's a healthy relationship (I.e. you know there has been a disagreement), then you can assume that partner feels bad too. Silences I think are a way of working out what you feel, letting the heat subside and coming to objectivity on an issue. Once you become aware of the space (more than the cross feelings) it's best not to let it continue (unless it was a mega blow out in which case you are heading for some more messiness before it gets resolved). It really depends on the other person how you handle it. Some people its pull a plaster off approach, direct, sort and move on. Others it's more of a practical peace offering that opens up conversation. Or a rational conversation. Leaving it hanging in my experience only buries the issue and causes more hurt, as one person ends up more tormented, or one person seems to move past it quicker.

I don’t deal with it, as DH is a grown up. He would be given short shrift if he ever tried it, how utterly pathetic and petty.

I used to enjoy the peace (and eventually LTB)

Speaking from the male side. I had no option but to apply the silent treatment. She stopped showing any interest in me whatsoever, tried talking to her about our issues but all I ended up with was a blank expression. It was just as tough for me as it was for her but i didnt feel i had any other option.