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3 kids = hard work, doesnt it?

49 replies

Daphnesmate · 20/03/2019 19:51

I don't want to give too much specific info as it will become outing so apologies if a bit vague but basically I am a full time SAHM with 3 dcs including a baby (2 at school). Since having my third dc, I feel like everything has suddenly become much harder.
This isn't a working mum/stay at home mum debate, this is specific to my situation and I feel like I am currently parenting (or doing some child related activity or housework) around the clock.

DH works full-time, is very hands on with the dcs and helps in the house, can't grumble really but it is just the logistics of things, for example one or the other dc has an activity, there is a push to get a meal on the table before or after said activity, bedtime routine for younger child and if as there is more frequently, an evening activity for one or the other of the dc, I can't hand baby over to dh who is ferrying children about, to get a bit of a break.

I have hobbies I like to pursue (shan't name them) but I literally squeeze them in, so that I maintain something for me, luckily the dc fit around one particular hobby, usually when baby naps and the other two are at school. Breath.

Don't want to hand little one over to nursery etc. no extended family, this is a new normal at least for the time being for me. Younger children are hard work; they naturally absorb time and physical energy and I like to give baby time and attention, so tend to let the housework slide a bit. I am an older mum but I don't think it is baby exactly that is tiring, I think it is running around after the other two dc as well and everything combined. A lot of people my age have older children now and are kicking back, things are as they are and it is worked out that I have had children later in life, in hindsight which is a wonderful thing, I would have had them earlier.
I am grateful to have my dc, very grateful but I want to be allowed to say, this is proper hard work isn't it?
Anyone?

OP posts:
Littlepond · 20/03/2019 19:53

I have 3 kids. Yes, it’s bloody hard work. You are allowed to say it!

ssd · 20/03/2019 19:53

It must be bloody hard work, I have 2 and that was hard enough, 3 must be much more so

I've never understood these people who say oh you don't notice another one, jesus who's bringing the kid up them😳

Shookethtothecore · 20/03/2019 19:54

I’m pregnant with dc3 and terrified 😩

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Gottalovesummer · 20/03/2019 19:55

The thing is, small children are utterly lovely, and utterly relentless in equal measures.

You're very lucky, as you've said, and I'm sure you're very tired too.

I have children and look after children for my job, and I love it and am knackered too.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 20/03/2019 19:56

It gets easier 🙂

Smoggle · 20/03/2019 19:56

I find all the organising and remembering of all the older dc school, homework, sports, clubs, uniform harder than just looking after the baby/toddler all day Grin

Exhaustedx · 20/03/2019 19:57

I have 5. It’s relentless. They are lovely and I adore them but I am absolutely shattered

Yellowcar2 · 20/03/2019 19:58

I have 3 ages 6, 2 & under 1. It is hard! I am hoping that it gets easier when DC 2 starts school in September.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 20/03/2019 19:58

Ahhhh I’d love a third, love to be pregnant again and have a baby but my god, my second is 16 months old and the toddler stage has really put me off, and I keep reading more and more how hard things are with extra curriculars etc as they get older 😭 but I want a third! Waaah. Watching this thread in hope!

SoyDora · 20/03/2019 19:58

Mine are 5, 3 and 10 weeks. Yes it’s bloody hard work! Mine are all fairly easygoing, it’s just the relentlessness at the moment.

Daphnesmate · 20/03/2019 20:02

Yes Smoggle, it's that as well: organising the older dcs as well as the baby and all the admin/appointments/uniform/clubs/emotional dramas/supporting with homework and then something like a birthday party for one of the dcs gets thrown into the mix.
It does get easier as they get older and it is lovely to have a little tribe but the noise level has gone up too as well as general mess and chaos and trying to get out of the house on mass. Baby doesn't sleep until 9 pm and wakes once in the night, middle dc pokes their head around the bedroom door usually between 6 am-6.30 am. Probably lack of sleep doesn't help either!

OP posts:
jacksonmaine · 20/03/2019 20:03

Yes @ssd

I've never understood these people who say oh you don't notice another one, jesus who's bringing the kid up them😳
Grin

Crapbags · 20/03/2019 20:03

My situation sounds pretty much identical to yours and yes it’s bloody hard work. I think it’s the sheer relentlessness of it like you said the only time to take a breath is when baby naps and unfortunately that doesn’t happen particularly well with DC3😖
I’m hoping it’ll get easier soon! But then people keep reminding me of the horror of the teenage phase😱

IVEgottheDECAF · 20/03/2019 20:04

I have 4 and am nearly 16 weeks gone with number 5.

It is relentless.
It is exhausting.
But it is worth it.

I am getting my tubes done after this one though ....

jacksonmaine · 20/03/2019 20:05

It doesn't get any easier when they are all in school. So many things to remember and then lots of issues when they get to High School!

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 20/03/2019 20:08

I have 3 too and it is hard work. Mostly the balancing of activities, non stop noise and mess (mostly from the toddler).
Never enough time to do anything (housework etc) properly

And I love them all so much and then of course is the guilt of not giving them all enough quality time or one on one time like reading books, homework etc. The eldest just get on with homework then I feel guilty but it's thst or t he toddler wrecks the house/gets in danger

And breathe! Wink

Daphnesmate · 20/03/2019 20:08

Bendy, wouldn't want to put you off, wouldn't be without baby dc, just need a bit of a moan I guess. Some people have laid back/easy going dcs. I have a mix in that one dc is and one dc isn't but I've got more of a handle now on how to approach the behavioural issues that one of my dcs has and life has got much better.

OP posts:
ChipsAreLife · 20/03/2019 20:09

I really want a third but you're making me question it!

Is it that different to two?!

You're allowed to moan, life is tough some days

Imacliche · 20/03/2019 20:11

6 year old 5 year old autistic 2 year old
Yes its very frigging hard

PotteringAlong · 20/03/2019 20:11

Mine are 7,4 and 2. I love them to bits but number 3 has nearly killed me off SmileConfused

Daphnesmate · 20/03/2019 20:13

Last dc for me. I constantly feel guilt that I am not giving them each 100% as dh says it's not going to be possible with 3, I have probably got massively high expectations (on myself) and need to chill out a bit.

OP posts:
Daphnesmate · 20/03/2019 20:15

Oh no Chips, do what's right for you, one persons ability to cope is different to another persons, also different family circumstances etc, we don't have any extended family, I should imagine it could be easier with a bit of extra support. I was just a bit shocked that's all that I personally have noticed a big change going from 2 to 3.

OP posts:
BendydickCuminsnatch · 20/03/2019 20:15

Oh yes you’re more than entitled to a moan 😄 I think if we do go for 3 (I’ve put a lot of effort into talking DH round to it and now he reeeeeally wants another 😄) we’re definitely having a bigger gap so older 2 are in school!

Daphnesmate · 20/03/2019 20:17

Need to take a break from here now...you've guessed it, another child related matter to attend to!

OP posts:
barkinatthemoon · 20/03/2019 20:18

my Oh is desperate for a 3rd and I said originally said no way, but lately been on the fence... so it's nice to read a reality check that that reminds me how much bloody hard it would be. I adore my children and if I could skip the first baby year I'd be up for it, but seems we breed pukers and screamers, and I don't cope with the stress of it well. I'm going to stick to my guns I think!! x

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