I need to book a smear test

[QueenOfTheTofuTree]

I promised myself I would phone up and make the appointment today but I just keep putting it off and putting it off!

I've already posted about this recently but long story short I have only had one and it was horrible and painful and I can't bring myself to phone again.

I don't want sympathy this time though, I just want someone to give me a kick up the arse so I will get it booked before my surgery closes at 6!

Just do it. You can speak to the Nurse beforehand about your concerns and she will put you at ease. They don't use metal speculums anymore as they are plastic and they come in different sizes. There is no scraping now as they use a special brush. Take a couple of paracetamol before the smear. Good luck.

Do you know why it was painful OP?

I have a tilted uterus and it really stings unless I prop my bum onto clinched fists and then it's fine. Perhaps you do too?

I think because I have autism and sexual trauma in my past.

I still haven't phoned. I hate talking on the phone anyway and I don't know what to say!

Just do it. Tell the nurse your past if you're prepared to.

I've just booked mine took 4 phone calls as they didn't answer but only took about 30secs on the actual call.

You'll feel better once it's done.

It's awful, I'm in the same position. 5 years overdue. 'Just book it' is the one thing I wish I could do. 'Tell the nurse your worries' feels impossible. I haven't had sexual trauma, but I've had trauma at the hands of NHS staff. I don't think I'll ever manage to book mine. I'll listen here for advice. Fully sympathise with you, Op.

For some people, a smear is not 5 minutes of discomfort.
I'm not embarrassed, I'm terrified.

I can sympathise op. I put off having my first smear for ages. Until I just bit the bullet.
Just call and ask to book a smear test. Then they'll go through potential appointment dates with you.

OP - here is the arse kicking you requested:

I understand that you may have issues when it comes to people being 'down there' but how much worse will it be if you end up with cervical cancer? All and sundry will need access to your 'area' and at least with a smear, it will likely be a female nurse (I'm sure you can certainly check this when booking the appointment) which is not something you can guarantee with a doctor!

My cousin is 40 and has undergone a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer and has had no end of problems since due to complications. I bet she wishes she hadn't missed her smear now!

5 minutes of discomfort has got to be better than the ongoing problems cancer can cause.

Hope I wasn't too harsh, I know it's horrible but it has to be done

Well I tried phoning but just got a load of different options for booking with various different doctors and I got all flustered and hung up. I will have to try again tomorrow.

It's a newish doctor surgery and I haven't made an appointment over the phone yet, only online (which are doctor appointments only and no smears).

OP give it one more try before they close. Get it booked!!!

Nah, I'm not going through that again! I'll try again tomorrow so you can all give me a kick up the arse tomorrow innstead!

I hate phones almost as much as I hate smears!

*instead.

Do it. I didn't and I now have terminal cancer with months (hopefully) to live and believe me a smear is nowhere near as painful and intrusive as cancer treatment is. I know you're scared but it's 5 minutes out of your life, just explain to the nurse how scared you are and she'll be able to put you at ease

I have anxiety around phones too in case nobody had noticed!

Seriously, why can't you book smears online? .

Dsis gets a tranquilser off the Dr for hers. Makes it much less stressful. That are very important Op and there are options out there to help make it a better experience. Good luck.

Can someone ring on your behalf OP? Is physically going there an option?

Ok, tomorrow first thing, Once calling or at desk say is 'hello, i am quite overdue my smear and id like to book in please' write that on a piece of paper in front of you, read it aloud. When you go to your appt, tell them you are really nervous. If needs be, write down why concisely/as breifly as poss in a note, pass to nurse if you feel too nervous to say it or feel overwhemed when speaking.

They will totally get it, and are better served to know how to help you in that moment.

Treat yourself after the phone call, to anything you like. praise yourself, feel releif at a task completed. I know more worry drums up after this, thinking about attending etc, but you need to do this for you. You can do it, for you.

When its done, bloody treat yourself again, cake, pizza, a drink, day out, cinema, anything. We deserve it.

Hi

we have a saying where l was born.never fear have a smear ,TV adds encourage women to go and have it done in groups.

Reward yourself for making the phone call then reward yourself again once you have had the smear.

best wishes

I've recently had one...ten years overdue 😮 When I booked they needed to know when I was mid cycle. So just a heads up for you as I got all flustered running to check the calendar.
The nurse couldn't have been kinder. I was expecting to get told off but she was genuinely interested in why I had left it do long. I think they were compiling reasons to help them get women in.
Good luck 👍

Could you ask them to use the smallest instrument they have? I went for mine recently and was really scared but it ended up being a really positive experience and not painful at all. The nurse told me to tell them next time that I only need the small speculum as she used that and it did the job perfectly.

Yes I will pop in tomorrow.

I am actually meeting my sister tomorrow so I have text her and told her to give me a kick up the arse tomorrow to get it booked.

purpleunicorns Oh my god I am so sorry to read this

@purpleunicorns I hope your story is enough to encourage anyone to book their smear. Sending you xx

OP I had one very recently. I'd also put it off for trauma type reasons (am being deliberately vague). Went OK the nurse listened to me beforehand and was great...I seized up in the middle of the first go, process was immediately halted, had time to relax and then had another go which went fine. I feel much better now. You can do it too. God luck.

I've told my sister not to let me go home until I have it booked so I have no choice now .

And DP has promised me he will treat me to my favourite restaurant once it's all over and done with .