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Original poster

When should you tell your family you’re pregnant?

54 replies

Nbct2getha · 17/03/2019 08:58

Hello,

I found out on Friday I am pregnant (yay) for the first time. I haven’t been to the Drs yet but I’ve done 3 tests which were all positive. I’ve told my partner but when do you tell the parents?

I know for the outside world and others not too close to you, it’s post 12 weeks but it feels wrong hiding it from my parents and sister until then.

When did you tell your family?

Thank you

OP posts:

BrownEyesBlackEyeliner · 17/03/2019 09:02

Whenever you feel comfortable. I personally waited until 12 weeks.

MrBobLoblaw · 17/03/2019 09:02

With DS1 we didn't tell anyone, family included, until after the 12 week scan and we knew everything was okay. I'm pregnant again now and we're going to do the same.

But it's really a personal thing OP so do what you're comfortable with. If you want to tell them sooner then do! And congratulations!!

Foonababoonalagoona · 17/03/2019 09:04

I told my family immediate straight away , then waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone else

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Foonababoonalagoona · 17/03/2019 09:05

And congratulations!

pinkandstripey · 17/03/2019 09:05

I told my parents/in laws in the few days after we found out both times. With my folks, we were going to visit them and I wouldn't be drinking so it'd have been obvious anyway.

Whatever you are comfortable with, but if you see them regularly, it might be hard to keep the news to yourself anyway.

circlemat · 17/03/2019 09:06

In my first pregnancy we didn't tell anyone, then discovered a MMC at 10 weeks and ended up telling a lot of close family/friends as we needed the support. Second time around we told family & close friends early incase the same happened again.

RiddleMeThis2018 · 17/03/2019 09:06

We told close family (parents, sister, DH’s brother) as soon as we knew, because we felt we would want their support if I miscarried early on. For everyone else we waited till 12 weeks. As PP have said, there’s no right and wrong, just what you feel you want to do.

happysaturday · 17/03/2019 09:06

We told our parents the day after we found out (about 5 weeks) - but no one else. Our reasoning was that god forbid anything went wrong, we would want their support as we are both close to both sets of parents.

That said, do whatever is right for you - don’t feel pressured to tell them if you aren’t ready

Congratulations!

CakeNinja · 17/03/2019 09:24

Not until about 14-15 weeks. Dp couldn’t help but tell everyone when I fell pregnant and we sadly ended up losing our first baby at 10 weeks. The hardest part was actually having to explain that to everyone.
I didn’t need or want anyone’s support, it was private and wanted time to myself to come to terms with it. I was fine but having to talk to people and tell them what had happened made it so much worse and I felt like everyone tiptoed around me being overly nice and sweet. We are very close to both our families, actually lives with MIL during my miscarriage and still during the births of our first 2 children, but some things are private (to me).
Subsequent pregnancies we kept to ourselves until I started showing and we had had scans etc.

DinosApple · 17/03/2019 09:27

I told my mum the day after I found out. My dad guessed before I told him around 10 weeks (or mum told him and that is fine).

We told MIL with a scan picture at 12 weeks.

She is of the generation where you couldn't be certain until you'd missed two periods and I think she was a bit bemused by the picture DH was born in the sixties so no such thing then.

Told work at 10 weeks and the rest of the world at 12.

SuperPixie247 · 17/03/2019 09:32

My in-laws guessed around 8 weeks. Not a clue how!

I told my mum after my 12 week scan so I could share a picture (and because I was bloody terified to tell her!)

Mishappening · 17/03/2019 09:36

There is no rule - you tell them when you want to.

I always think it is good to share with those you love - and anyone else you want to. If you were to lose the pregnancy (which is the reason given for delaying telling the news) you will have people who love you to prop you up and care for you.

But I am sure it will all be OK! Congratulations on this lovely news.

Jackshouse · 17/03/2019 09:40

With my first I was planning to wait until 1 weeks but then I miscarried and I wish I had told them earlier.

GreenerDarker · 17/03/2019 09:40

We told people at 12 weeks after the scan. (Actually DH and I both told 1 person each before that. I told a work colleague the day after I found out. DH told one of his friends).

My reasoning for waiting was that I was fairly terrified something would go wrong, and I hated the idea of having to break the news of a MMC or whatever to my excited mum. If something had gone wrong I would have told her about it I’m sure, but felt this would be easier to do as a fait accompli.

My mum on the other hand was horrified if kept the secret for so long and still brings it up as evidence of how odd I am!

Congratulations to you.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 17/03/2019 09:44

When you want to. I think the holding out til 12 weeks thing is a bit old fashioned personally.

I’ve had three successful pregnancies and one early miscarriage and I always shared with family as soon as I got the BFP and even when I miscarried at 9 weeks it didn’t make me regret telling them early as I had their understanding and support to get through a difficult time.

I’d rather they know and understand after an early miscarriage than have to tell them the reason I was unwell etc.

Congratulations! Do what you feel is best for you.

Whisky2014 · 17/03/2019 09:45

We told both sets of parents when i was 6 or 7 weeks. Pretty much as soon as we found out. Everyone was 12 weeks.

Pleaseremindme · 17/03/2019 09:48

I told my mum as soon as I had a positive test however I waited till 12 weeks to tell everyone else.

CluedoAddict · 17/03/2019 09:54

I told everyone straight away with both.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 17/03/2019 10:03

Whenever suits you... I always ended up telling my family early, as the start of my pregnancies always seemed to coincide with dsis having an outbreak of shingles!

Tealfrog · 17/03/2019 10:06

I would be very hurt if my ds2 didn't share her pregnancy with me. Imo you tell the people who you would also tell if you had a miscarriage. For me that would be close family and select friends.

Tealfrog · 17/03/2019 10:06

Thet should be dd not ds2!

Original poster

Nbct2getha · 17/03/2019 11:59

Thank you everyone! I think we’ll wait until our first doctors appointment then tell them ❤️

OP posts:

TwoShades1 · 17/03/2019 12:05

I had to tell my mum very soon after I found out I was pregnant (about 5 weeks) as I have hyperemesis gravidarum. I work with her so she needed to know why I was sick and that I might be off work for some time. We told the rest of immediate family (including DPs family) at 8 weeks. We see them often and the hyperemesis made it impossible for me to do anything, they were starting to get concerned about me still being sick and were asking what was wrong. We will be waiting til after 12 weeks to be telling more distant family and friends.

CuppaSarah · 17/03/2019 12:34

Mother's Day is coming up...could be a lovely surprise if you're comfortable telling parents then.

candlefloozy · 17/03/2019 12:36

Told my family and in-laws just before scam and then waited until after to tell everyone else. Depends what sort of person you are I think

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