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Original poster

When should you tell your family you’re pregnant?

54 replies

Nbct2getha · 17/03/2019 08:58

Hello,

I found out on Friday I am pregnant (yay) for the first time. I haven’t been to the Drs yet but I’ve done 3 tests which were all positive. I’ve told my partner but when do you tell the parents?

I know for the outside world and others not too close to you, it’s post 12 weeks but it feels wrong hiding it from my parents and sister until then.

When did you tell your family?

Thank you Smile

OP posts:
Rememberallball · 17/03/2019 22:17

We told my sister and DH’s parents and adult children once we’d had confirmation from the IVF clinic that the treatment cycle had been successful. With DH agreement I told some close girlfriends soon after. We told the wider family after I had my viability scan at 6+6. We are currently waiting for our dating scan (am 11+3 now) and then we’re going to announce publicly as many people knew it was planned and we were having the IVF.

SmarmyMrMime · 17/03/2019 22:44

I told different people at different times according to need. 1st time I told DM at 8wks when I had a scare, I needed to talk to her. A close friend already knew as we'd been away together for a weekend.

Second time we told MiL at 6wks because we were staying with her and it did affect my behaviour. I did actually have an issue that needed checking over so she'd have found out anyway. Other relatives didn't know for much longer.

Crunchycrunchycrunchy · 18/03/2019 14:22

Whenever you are comfortable. We told parents when we found out (about 5 weeks) and siblings around 8 weeks. Also told my best friend at 5 weeks, and a couple of work colleagues at about 8 weeks, because we work next to a shared kitchen and I was doing a lot of legging it to the loo. I was also crying every day due to hormones so they needed to know what was going on.
The rest of the world we told after the 12 week scan.

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Crunchycrunchycrunchy · 18/03/2019 14:23

In my opinion, I told the people that would be there to support me and be around me if anything bad happened. As they would then know anyway. Everyone else waited.

seven201 · 18/03/2019 14:27

As an aside a lot of areas don't do doctors appointments. Where I live you ring the midwife direct and see them for the first time at about 8 or 10 weeks.

I told close family straight away. I had a miscarriage (second pregnancy) and don't regret telling close family. I do regret telling my employer though! I only told my boss as she was planning staffing for the next year. That said if she was a nice boss it wouldn't have been an issue!

Middlrm · 18/03/2019 14:28

You prob don’t need to see doctor just go to surgury to sign up to midwife team .. unless you have medical issues ... I went to doctor with my first last year and he just said congratulations but the tests are so good there is nothing he needed to do I just filled in some forms a d was contacted to see midwife for bloods and scan at 13 weeks ... very sureal

We told our parents at 8 weeks but no one else until after scan ( interesting as I was on my hen do before I could spill the beans ) ... the only problem was my parents got quite annoyed I wasn’t celebrating the baby and sharing with every one but I just didn’t want to jinx it / have to explain to more people than I cared too if it went wrong... but it’s your choice go for what makes you happy 😃 big congratulations x x

DramaAlpaca · 18/03/2019 14:30

We told my parents at 9 weeks because we had to travel to see them and that was the best time to fit in a visit. I think we told the in-laws soon after.

SuziQ10 · 18/03/2019 14:31

No rules of course but I felt more comfortable waiting until after the first scan. At 12w.

sunshineandshowers21 · 18/03/2019 14:37

with my first and second i told my close family as soon as i found out then told the rest of the family after my 12 week scan. i didn’t announce on facebook or anything so other people either found out when they saw me with a bump or a baby. i had a miscarriage after my second so when i fell pregnant again after the miscarriage we didn’t tell anyone, including family, until we’d had the 12 week scan.

Strokethefurrywall · 18/03/2019 14:59

There is no "should" - you can tell whomever you'd like whenever you'd most like to. I'm guessing most people in the UK hold off until after their first scan, which is generally around 12 weeks so it's become the most "socially acceptable" timeline.

I told family and close friends immediately with both babies and had scans from 6 weeks. I live overseas and knew that I would want the support of our friends if the pregnancy were not to continue. Told wider family around 12 weeks but that was because I was back in the UK and wanted to tell them in person.

Whenever you feel comfortable doing so is the right answer, it's totally personal and up to you. Don't keep it a secret if you want to share your news, it's the most wonderful news so celebrate it! Thanks

Backseatonthebus · 18/03/2019 15:05

A family member of ours has recently become pregnant (being vague to preserve my anonymity!). They have just told a small group of people before 12 weeks/scan - the people they would want to tell if they had a miscarriage. That seemed a sensible way of looking at it to me.

AlexDJa · 18/03/2019 19:49

We told everyone at 5 weeks. Was horrible telling them we lost it a month ago. But they would have noticed something was wrong anyway so I'm sure they would have found out. But mostly regret telling my 3 year old as he still draws mummy with a baby in her belly even though we told him the 'doctor made a mistake'

Teddyreddy · 18/03/2019 20:50

I told no one except DH with DC1 until 12 weeks. I'd have liked to tell DM but I knew she wouldn't keep it to herself, and I wasn't ready for the world to know - and I felt I couldn't tell any other family if DM didn't know.

ZanyMobster · 18/03/2019 21:03

Family and close friends as soon as we knew. Everyone else as and when we saw them. I could never see the point in waiting for 12 weeks, if something happened then I would have wanted their support.

chocolatebuttonsandcheese · 18/03/2019 21:04

Don't understand why you'd tell anybody before 20 weeks

ZanyMobster · 18/03/2019 21:07

AlexDJa so sorry for your loss

With DS2 we waited till after the scan to tell DS1 but he was only 18 months so we thought it would be easier to explain with scan photos.

ZanyMobster · 18/03/2019 21:08

Chocolate- because it would be fairly obvious and because you want to share your happy news??

MondeoFan · 18/03/2019 21:12

I told everyone when I was 12 weeks first time around parents included.
Second time I didn't tell anyone until I was almost 6 months pregnant I was 26 weeks, oh and I announced it on my Facebook when I was 8 months and I only had a month to go eeekkkkk.

80sMum · 18/03/2019 21:13

With my first pregnancy, 40 years ago, I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 11+ weeks. I told my parents on the same day that I found out.

The 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, I was about 8 weeks when I found out - and again I told my parents straight away.

It never occurred to me not to tell them as soon as I knew I was pregnant.

Heyha · 18/03/2019 21:16

I had to tell the head at 6 weeks (good reasons) and it felt bad work knowing but not close family so we told each set of parents and siblings that week. Grandparents (in case something went wrong), friends and wider family at 12 weeks after the scan.

ZanyMobster · 18/03/2019 21:20

I can't imagine not telling my immediate family or DHs family. We are really close.

yearinyearout · 18/03/2019 21:20

We told our parents the day we found out. In all honesty I don't think we waited much longer to tell our friends...

bigbangfangirl · 18/03/2019 21:23

Without being the voice of doom, tell the people now who you would want support from if you miscarry. I'm speaking from exotic. No one want to think the worst but if it happens, you'll be glad they are there for you xx

bigbangfangirl · 18/03/2019 21:24

Exotic??!! Wtf is going on with my autocorrect today?!! Experience!!!

Strokethefurrywall · 18/03/2019 21:54

Don't understand why you'd tell anybody before 20 weeks

Do try harder. It's not fucking difficult.