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Original poster

What would you classify this as? Assault?

44 replies

isthis · 16/03/2019 12:32

Drunk being put to bed by a friend. Reckon must have passed out woke up to him on top of her with his hands down her knickers. When friend woke up he saw she was freaked out and stopped.

What would you classify that as?

OP posts:
BollocksToBrexit · 16/03/2019 12:33

Sexual assault.

Jackshouse · 16/03/2019 12:35

Sexual assault

HollowTalk · 16/03/2019 12:36

Sexual assault. No question.

Original poster
isthis · 16/03/2019 12:45

Thank you

Would you really even though he stopped when he saw she was freaked out?

OP posts:
EleanorLavish · 16/03/2019 12:48

When friend woke up...
He had his hands down her pants as she was asleep!! He was freaked out and stopped because she had woken up and caught him, not because he thought “Oh, she isn’t up for this”.

Palominoo · 16/03/2019 12:49

It was non consensual for him to start on her and he may have progressed to raping her if she hadn't woken up.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 12:49

Sexual assault. Even though he stopped when she woke up.

Original poster
isthis · 16/03/2019 12:58

Ok so woke up - might be like came to as so drunk - but I'm guessing that doesn't make a difference?

OP posts:
Shostakobitch · 16/03/2019 13:01

His hand was down her pants while she was unconscious. An unconscious person cannot consent. Therefore there was no consent. Therefore it was assault.

Spiderbanana · 16/03/2019 13:01

100% sexual assault.

This video explains it really well OP

If she was not able to give consent because she was passed out it is sexual assault. And the fact that he stopped when she woke up strongly suggests that he knew this.

Original poster
isthis · 16/03/2019 13:21

Ok

He was very apologetic afterwards. Would that count for anything do you think? Could they stay friends?

OP posts:
MumUnderTheMoon · 16/03/2019 13:22

It's sexual assault you shouldn't even have to ask. He stopped because she saw him sexually assault her and wouldn't have had she stayed passed out.

AnyFucker · 16/03/2019 13:24

What are you trying to convince yourself of ?

That it's ok for a "friend" to touch you sexually when you are unable to consent ? What would you say if a complete stranger took advantage in this way...would thst be ok too ?

He is no friend. He is a common or garden sexual abuser. No more, no less.

Parky04 · 16/03/2019 13:24

Could they stay friends?

Stay friends with someone who sexually assaulted her? Err no!

Grundtal · 16/03/2019 13:26

His hand was down her pants while she was unconscious. An unconscious person cannot consent. Therefore there was no consent. Therefore it was assault.

I don't give a shiny shite how apologetic he was. It was sexual assault and could potentially have progressed to rape.

Personally I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who considers someone unconscious to be consenting to anything.

Palominoo · 16/03/2019 13:32

Think of it as the other way round. You have a lovely male friend and/or work colleague and after a fun night out you end up back at his just as friends.

He has had a lot to drink and falls asleep.

Would you even think to put your hand down his trousers/pants and have a fondle whilst he is unconcious/asleep and consider thst respectful behaviour?

Of course you wouldn't! It's outrageous to even contemplate such disrespectful and horrible behaviour.

If you went for an operation and the medical staff thought they could grope you or take photos whilst you were asleep/anaesthetised would you think that OK?

Touching someone should only be done with their consent anything else is grossly disrespectful and is an assault.

AllTheFours44 · 16/03/2019 13:34

And if you hadn’t woken up. Would he have stopped?

The fact you’re posting, suggests you know this was assault.

No, you can never be friends.

ohfourfoxache · 16/03/2019 13:36

Fuck being friends. I’d strongly strongly strongly advise the police.

CryptoFascist · 16/03/2019 13:37

Are you the man in this scenario? I'm only asking as you seem to want to find a way to make this not sexual assault, which it definitely was.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 16/03/2019 13:40

I'm not one for reading between lines and coming up with a crazy accusation on a thread... however, the way this reads it is like you are the man and you are questioning your actions. A woman or a friend of a woman who has been sexually assaulted would not be concerned with a friendship!

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 16/03/2019 13:40

X post!

chinam · 16/03/2019 13:40

Please stop trying to excuse this man's behaviour. It is assault. Did this happen to you, op?

Original poster
isthis · 16/03/2019 13:42

I'm the woman - sorry for the cryptic third person thing

I stayed friends with him - at least as part of a wider group - that's the dilemma I guess. I don't really understand why I did

OP posts:
justilou1 · 16/03/2019 13:45

Attempted rape

Original poster
isthis · 16/03/2019 13:46

I never thought of it as he stopped because I woke up - I thought of it as he stopped because he realised he was making a mistake

OP posts:
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