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Original poster

Does anyone else not like cuddles at all?

43 replies

Borelis · 12/03/2019 22:52

I find it soo difficult to understand the craving some people have for cuddles.. like it makes no sense to me regardless of who with.. in fact, even if a guy mentions he loves cuddles, I feel immediately put off (generally not a fan of feminine behaviours in a potential love interest anyway). I do have a high libido but still, not a fan of cuddles at all - feels too overly emotionally, needy and a big waste of time. Sometimes I go along with it but I've never really wanted/enjoyed it..

A lot of people think that's odd, especially for a female - is there anyone else out there like me?

OP posts:
shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 12/03/2019 22:54

I am not a massive fan of cuddles either and get a bit annoyed by assumptions that all people want/need cuddles

flapjackfairy · 12/03/2019 22:57

Well how do you have sex without cuddling at some point or other ? Surely it must be difficult like that.

3in4years · 12/03/2019 23:01

I only like them with my kids.

Izzy12345 · 12/03/2019 23:07

Yep I get it. I'm the same. Really don't like cuddles, no need to be in my personal space. Although my husband and son are allowed lol.

reallyanotherone · 12/03/2019 23:07

even if a guy mentions he loves cuddles, I feel immediately put off (generally not a fan of feminine behaviours in a potential love interest anyway)

Is cuddling “feminine behaviour”? Not heard that before.

What is feminine behaviour? A man who cooks, cleans, and looks after children? In which case I am a huge fan. Big fan.

I am not keen on cuddles. Dh loves them. Which he displayed other feminine behaviour and got the duster out more!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 12/03/2019 23:12

I hate them. Since DH died, everyone seems to want to hug me at every given opportunity. Even the bloody funeral director. I must have been hugged more in the last month than in my lifetime. Just... no. What is wrong with a wave? Or shaking hands? WHY HUG?????

Whilst on the subject, I loathe kissing too. It's disgusting.

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/03/2019 23:16

Don’t like cuddles either. I’m very tactile, like to touch and stroke people / be touched and I enjoy post-sex being wrapped up in and around somebody. But I don’t like it when people put their arms around me otherwise. It’s sort of uncomfortable, physically and mentally.

I don’t think of cuddling as “feminine” behaviour though. Actually know more men who like it than women.

chesterfuckingdraws · 12/03/2019 23:17

Me, I dislike most physical contact in general to be honest.
DH is a cuddler so I do have to compromise sometimes.

GrumpyOldMare · 12/03/2019 23:18

I hate cuddles too. And kisses.

I just hate being touched full stop. Unless I totally trust you 100%.

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 12/03/2019 23:23

I love cuddles

Fstar · 12/03/2019 23:27

Me too, especially in bed, i need space to move. If my dp put his arm over me i feel trapped and all i can think of is breaking free so k can last 1min tops. Hate anyone touching my face or hair too, keep your germs off me

BlackPrism · 13/03/2019 00:22

Cuddling is feminine?

Rockbird · 13/03/2019 00:51

Love cuddles with my children, hate them from anyone else, hate being touched at all. It's a small bone of contention with DH. He's very cuddly and I'm not so I do make an effort but I don't really like it.

TheBouquets · 13/03/2019 03:33

I used to be unable to cope with cuddles.
I went through a bad time with relatives who died and there was lots of ill health going on, My life was pandemonium. I was devastated with all the deaths and those who were the remaining nearest and dearest were so detached and seemed to be so uncaring, there was never a pat on the arm or verbal reassurance. There were no visits just because or for a chat. Any contact had a demand attached.
Then I met someone! We talked a lot. Eventually, some kissing and cuddling started. I was so hard for me to cope. I didn't know what to do. It was hard not to push this person away from me. I wanted cuddles but was so unused to human contact.
Time has passed and now I am comfortable with kiss and cuddles. I have noticed that the nearest and dearest have not been happy that I have met someone. I wonder how much this has to do with me not being as dependant on them for any sort of life.
I don't know how anyone can choose to have no human contact. I wonder why my relatives are like that

StarlightLady · 13/03/2019 04:53

I love cuddles. It’s the “warmth”. They make me feel secure and cared for. Naked cuddles are even better.

I can’t “sleep cuddle” though.

Bloodybridget · 13/03/2019 06:34

I've come to realise that I'm really not a tactile person; I find being touched difficult unless I initiate it - it's fine with children, and I can manage it wth people I love, but I do have a tendency to flinch away. My poor DP! Also really dislike being patted or stroked.

CostanzaG · 13/03/2019 06:50

Since when is cuddling classed as feminine behaviour? 🙄
What else is classed as feminine? Talking through your problems? Cooking? Looking after children?

Fair enough if you aren't tactile but don't label behaviours in this way. It can have quite damaging consequences. Anyway, I know far more women who dislike physical contact so bang goes your theory about it being feminine behaviour.

YepImafraidImgivingmyopinion · 13/03/2019 06:50

(generally not a fan of feminine behaviours in a potential love interest anyway). *

Eh?
My hubby must be such a girl then, he loves a cuddle.
He cooks and washes up too...I should leave this girly boy immediately!! Hmm

Drogosnextwife · 13/03/2019 07:09

I only like cuddles, with my kids.

in fact, even if a guy mentions he loves cuddles, I feel immediately put off (generally not a fan of feminine behaviours in a potential love interest anyway)

What else are feminine behaviours? Housework, looking after kids. Does that mean you don't expect a partner to do these things?
My dp loves cuddles he is far from feminine Hmm

Coniferhedge · 13/03/2019 07:21

I don’t mind hugging/cuddling DH and DS, but not anyone else. At school pick up when my son was younger, many Mums used to greet each other with hugs. I used to hate it!

Bluesheep8 · 13/03/2019 07:49

I love cuddles. DP doesn't. At all. I accept that.

Ragwort · 13/03/2019 07:52

No, can’t stand them, from anyone. Hate sharing a bed, fortunately DH agrees and we have separate rooms. Can’t understand grown adults who say they enjoy ‘cuddling up on the sofa watching a film’ .... I need my space.

ShatnersWig · 13/03/2019 07:58

I like a hug but another who doesn't like cuddles. And like a PP never in bed. I feel restricted if there's an arm draped over me and I genuinely can't sleep if someone is touching me. I don't wear a watch for the same reason, it feels restrictive.

IndigoSpritz · 13/03/2019 08:26

I don't like being touched at all, especially if I'm not expecting it. It makes me jump.

Fantababy · 13/03/2019 08:30

I don't like them from anyone but DH and my kids, and feel I have to grin and bear it a lot (especially as I'm pregnant Confused).

Another one who's interested in what you define as 'feminine behaviours' though. I'd be gutted if DH didn't want to cuddle me because he's a man.