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Original poster

I'm a rubbish parent

49 replies

Mississippilessly · 12/03/2019 16:14

My son is 6 months old. We have a rough nap schedule. Sometimes he will sleep in his crib but usually it's in his car seat, sling or in bed with me. He goes down at 7pm easy as pie but wakes frequently through the night.
He doesn't like being put down in the day. I get nothing done- if I get a wash done and dried it's a good day. I'm currently sitting in my car on the drive while he sleeps.
We've just started weaning and I cant get him to swallow anything.

I cant do any of it. I'm so tired and I'm so terrified about all the things to come that I'm going to fuck up. All I want to do is eat chocolate.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 12/03/2019 16:20

Eat the chocolate!
My first couldn’t be out down. Velcro baby.
Food? Used to choke and vomit on lumps. For months. Had to purée everything for months and months.
He’s a teen now and has no memory of any of it. Hmm
The early months are hard. Give yourself a break. And chocolate. Much chocolate. Wink

ScatteredMama82 · 12/03/2019 16:28

I remember it well, and if it helps me and both my boys are still alive and well (we even sleep now!) Honestly, my youngest was a horror. He only wanted me, all the time, he didn't sleep and when it came time to weaning he didn't eat either.

The not being put down phase will pass. I used to wear him in a babybjorn around the house so I could get things done. Sleeping will get better too, just do what you need to so you both get some sleep.

With regards to weaning, don't sweat it. Until he's 1 food is just about getting used to eating. Just keep offering him little bits but don't worry about him actually eating it. Honestly, he will eat when he's ready and you're doing a great job just starting to introduce him to things.

You're doing fine, the fact that you're worrying about him means you are an awesome Mum already. xx

MaverickSnoopy · 12/03/2019 16:39

Sounds like dd2. I love her so much but at 2.8yo she's still hard work. I had the comparison of DD1 to know it was her and not me.

It's not you its him. Just keep going. I used to look everything up and post on MN A LOT. You are not a rubbish parent. DD2 only napped in a sling until she was 7mo. Then one day she slept in a cot. Takes some longer, but I had the comparison so knew it wasn't me.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old 6-9 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep
Needallthesleep · 12/03/2019 16:45

You’re right in the toughest time. Sleep deprivation has caught up, and weaning isn’t ever easy. Naps aren’t as easy as when your baby was tiny and you’re achieving more than I ever did when I had a six month old. You sound like you care so much, which automatically makes you a wonderful parent.

I’m not sure it helps, but it gets easier over the next few months. I promise. I found 6 - 9 months the toughest part of having a baby, but at 1 it’s so much better.

Isntthatalwaystheway · 12/03/2019 16:47

Eat all of the Chocolate OP, you're doing an amazing job I'm sure Thanks

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 12/03/2019 16:52

Eat the chocolate..god this sounds so familiar. I used to sit in my car too because I was too scared to disturb him in case he woke up. If it’s any comfort he’s now 16 and wild horses wouldn’t wake him in the mornings.

At six months though he woke frequently throughout the night...I literally couldn’t get anything done. I used to go to work (don’t laugh but I was a health visitor back then) and listen to other perfect mothers (god how I judged myself) telling me how their perfect babies slept through the night from 8 weeks. Their houses were always cleaner and tidier than mine too .

Honestly you are not a rubbish parent...you are normal, this is normal and you are doing the best you can .

Here....some Flowers for you and some Gin to go with the chocolate.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 12/03/2019 17:18

Thank you everyone. Its reassuring to know others experienced the same.
It's just so much harder than I ever thought it would be; for so much longer! He is gorgeous but at this point I cant see us giving him a sibling.

OP posts:
Praiseyou · 12/03/2019 17:30

Mine is about to turn 2 and it's only now that I can imagine having another one. Before this, I was certain I could never do it again.

Remember food before 1 is just for fun; if he's drinking milk, he's getting enough.

I loved naps in the car. I used to listen to talk radio while he slept because I loved listening to adults talk. Do the bare essentials on the house. Think easy for dinner - I used to be a snob about frozen veg, now it's a staple.

For me, it's been easier since he started walking and understanding what I'm saying to him.

drogon1 · 12/03/2019 17:34

Feel your pain OP. Have a 5 month old and I've really had enough some days. Eat chocolate - I've told DP to not bother coming home from work without calling at the shop with some first!

drogon1 · 12/03/2019 17:36

**For some not with..

See cant even type a proper sentence

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 12/03/2019 18:02

I've just prepared him tomato, spinach and pasta mush. It actually tasted nice. 5 mins, everything spat out and then tears. Shed load of washing up.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 12/03/2019 18:14

That’s why I used pouches. Blush

Lamkin · 12/03/2019 18:18

Eat the chocolate!

My 3rd was a shitbag when it came to weaning, hated homemade stuff, jars etc.
Ella's kitchen pouches were my saviour.
Once he got the hang of it, he ate everything I gave him, no fuss.
His milk will still be feeding him plenty, don't worry about it too much, I know it's hard .

Do what you have to do to get through the day. Perfect parents don't exist Thanks
He's fed and healthy, you're doing great.

DuchessOfPhysics · 12/03/2019 18:19

At least you didn't leave him at the airport and force a plain to turn back!

kaytee87 · 12/03/2019 18:19

All totally normal. WineCake

RedSpottyKettle · 12/03/2019 18:26

Oh Missi Sad. My baby is two and she still doesn’t eat. It’s distressing. I would just make simple meals so you don’t find it as upsetting when it doesn’t get eating.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 12/03/2019 18:52

Duchess I've just texted DH with the same message!
None of my friendship group use pouches. They're all making baby friendly hummus.

OP posts:
UnicornRainbowsRain · 12/03/2019 19:00

He's six months! Give yourself a flaming break. You sound like a responsive parent who is putting your child's welfare first.

As for weaning. Unless your food is really salty or spicy then crack on and just put a bit of whatever you are having on his tray or plate. If he's not bothered, it's fine. Don't be spending hours making twatty food. It's just virtue signalling and a total load of wank.

Give yourself a break sometimes- even if it's just phoning a take-away and having a glass of wine and he's up late one evening it's absolutely fine! If he's happy and not screaming it's a win.

I used to sit on the drive or whatever too, got in the habit of making sure I had a book/drink/snack. It's Ok to nip inside for a wee and a cuppa to bring out. When it's nicer you can sit outside the car Smile Other idea is to put his seat behind yours so the passenger seat can lie down a bit so you can get a kip too.

You can also do things like plan a home delivery for shopping from the car too so you can hopefully make the best of the time.

UnicornRainbowsRain · 12/03/2019 19:02

Also, please just accept your child's personality for who they are. Mines is still like this but they are also clever, charming with other adults, creative, imaginative, has mastered lots of skills very early but emotionally needs held a lot, lots of attention, etc- if I had been fighting it for years I would have gone barmy!

pointythings · 12/03/2019 19:03

DD1 scoffed home made food like there was no tomorrow. DD2 spat it out and preferred ready made, and wasn't interested in proper food until she was about 9 months old. They're supposed to get most of their nutrition from milk until about a year anyway so let him take it at his own pace.

Neither of mine were constant velcro babies, but they had stages.

Whatever you manage to get done is icing - the cake is doing what's best for your baby. You're a great parent.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 12/03/2019 19:03

I would say that 'virtue signalling and a pile of wank' describes a lot of parenting stuff!!!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 12/03/2019 19:15

I made food for my second because she wasn’t a Velcro child who wouldn’t even be put down whilst I had a pee without screaming. Oh and she ate it.
My first wanted to be held. All the fucking time. If I wanted a shower I had to do it whilst DH held him. He would get so upset that it could result in vomit and would certainly bother the neighbours! Oh and he wouldn’t eat it. He would more likely spit it up the walls. Sad
Sod the handknitted organic bollocks.
Buy the pouches. And the chocolate. If that’s what suits you.

Dodgylooking · 12/03/2019 20:42

FGS EAT THE FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!!! DD is now 3 and im still exclusively living on sugar!
Eat the chocolate, use the pouches (your mum friends sound like fucking liars with their shit hummus) and fuck the housework. Oh and take a nap while youre at it, you deserve it! Being a mum is hard, do whatever you can to make it easier!
Keep up the good work

Jaxtellerswife · 12/03/2019 20:46

Fuck the hummus. Just do what you need to do to get through.
I wouldn't even cook special bits, just mush up a little of what you're having and let baby have a go. There's loads of time. I know of no 30 year olds that never learned to eat or went to uni because they had hummusGrin
Babies are hard. Sometimes really hard. Be kind to yourself

twosoups1972 · 12/03/2019 20:48

You are NOT a rubbish parent. You're doing great because you care.

Eat the chocolate and lower your expectations (on yourself).

Don't worry about the night waking - babies are SUPPOSED to eat in the night, their tummies are tiny. All of mine didn't sleep through a full night till about a year old.

As for food - milk is still his main source of nutrition at this stage. Don't drive yourself mad. Babies need to learn to chew and swallow, he will get there.

Be kind to yourself and post here as much as you want.

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