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Original poster

I'm a rubbish parent

49 replies

Mississippilessly · 12/03/2019 16:14

My son is 6 months old. We have a rough nap schedule. Sometimes he will sleep in his crib but usually it's in his car seat, sling or in bed with me. He goes down at 7pm easy as pie but wakes frequently through the night.
He doesn't like being put down in the day. I get nothing done- if I get a wash done and dried it's a good day. I'm currently sitting in my car on the drive while he sleeps.
We've just started weaning and I cant get him to swallow anything.

I cant do any of it. I'm so tired and I'm so terrified about all the things to come that I'm going to fuck up. All I want to do is eat chocolate.

OP posts:

Mamabearx4 · 12/03/2019 20:54

My son was the same, weaning took forever, potty training years. Clingy, didn't sleep. Tantrums. But he was happy and fed (eventually) I felt like the worst mother when he refused to do homework, shut down at school. You name it we had it. He got diagnosed at 10 with asd it all finally sunk in that it wasn't me (only saying my story not trying to say your son has it)
He is 18 next month and I can't believe that he is still alive and taller then me now.

So here's some advise
Screw the homemade dinners for now, seriously more will end up on the floor the in his mouth. Easy foods, toast scrambled eggs, melting biscuits, beans, peas. Use pouches, nobody need a to know. As for clingy it will pass enjoy the cuddles whilst they last as this time next year he will be running in the opposite direction for fun.

Hughes12345 · 12/03/2019 21:09

Awe you’ve got the same baby as my DS. I won’t repeat all the good advice you’ve had but just you wait until the toddler years-he’ll come into his own and be a breeze.

DS is now 10. It does get easier and you are a fantastic mummy!

Original poster

Mississippilessly · 12/03/2019 21:13

You've all made me cry a bit.
It's just so relentless. And when he goes to sleep all I'm good for is staring into the middle distance!.

OP posts:

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TheMinkette · 12/03/2019 21:35

Another one with a 6 month old exactly the same. He’s my second and the first was a breeze in comparison, some babies are just shit! Hang in there, it’s definitely not you failing.

mummamaker · 12/03/2019 21:39

I'm now the owner of a one year old and although there's a lot of hard bits it's so much more enjoyable , I found around 9/10 months was the turning point so hang in there !

kaytee87 · 12/03/2019 21:41

@Mississippilessly do you ever get any time to yourself? I found it so much easier by having a regular time (day, half day, few hours) where I knew I could do as I pleased and DH would take baby out.

LotsToThinkOf · 12/03/2019 21:46

OP, firstly you need to eat the chocolate. Secondly you need to ignore the mums at baby group and buy some jars and pouches. Please remember that the phrase 'fed is best' extends to weaning too. You will always meet the mums and dads who make all their own food, you will meet more parents who buy it in jars and pouches but they just don't tell you. Hey, if it makes you feel better then decant them into Tupperware!

I've been there, my 3 year old used to eat everything but then turned 2 and hasn't eaten anything remotely healthy since. My 6 yo wouldn't eat anything as a baby, I remember crying my eyes out over a batch of spinach muffins that he refused to try and realising that life really is too short. He's at school now and eats everything and anything.

See how he gets on with pouches, over time they do become more open to trying different textures etc but you just have to keep trying. And don't compare yourself to other parents, it'll just make you feel worse.

You're doing a good job!

UnicornRainbowsRain · 12/03/2019 22:01

LotsToThinkOf spinach muffins I wouldn't eat that as a (semi-competent) adult.

OP.... years in and I spend much time staring in to the middle difference. You can choose between rest or having some kind of semblance of a life. It's OK!

dreichuplands · 12/03/2019 22:03

He is pretty young for weaning so don't worry if he isn't eating anything yet.
I don't know a parent who hasn't spent hours in the car because their dc fell asleep there.
Eat the chocolate 🍫

Original poster

Mississippilessly · 13/03/2019 01:35

@Kaytee87 a bit, usually at the weekend DH will take him. We tried DH taking over for bedtime routine but junior screams.

OP posts:

Purplelion · 13/03/2019 03:25

You’re definitely not a rubbish parent!
My 2 bits of advice would be:
At 6 months you don’t need to worry about purée or mush, just stick some of whatever you’re eating on the highchair tray and let him get on with it!
Have you tried a sling? My DD spent the first 8/9 months in a sling almost constantly, it freed my hands up and meant I could eat/make tea:do housework and she would nap and was quite content most of the day in there!

LotsToThinkOf · 13/03/2019 08:17

UnicornRainbows I was obsessed everything was home made and involved spinach because I was paranoid about iron. They were disgusting! I haven't made any since but it was entirely due to peer pressure that I honestly didn't see at the time. My child didn't care about food until I introduced Ella's Kitchen and then he was fine.

OP the fact that you're questioning and worrying tells you you're a fantastic parent. You want the best, and that prevails even on the hardest of days. 6 months is very little, focus on food for fun at this point and once he's ready then food will become 'important' to him.

WhenZogateSuperworm · 13/03/2019 08:25

Sod what other parents are feeding their babies- do that’s right for you! They all turn in to 2 year olds who only eat fish fingers served on a particular plate and chocolate buttons anyway!

I would use pouches for now to introduce flavour, but don’t worry if he doesn’t eat much. Milk is enough at this age.

BuggyWanker · 13/03/2019 10:35

Homemade baby friendly hummus? Christ on a bike people have too much fucking time on their hands! Eat the chocolate, sleep wherever and whenever you can ( if you can) and stick baby in a carrier on your back (see YouTube for how to get them in and practice over your bed) to get any chores done.

Don't worry about making anything too fancy for weaning - a bit of mashed banana/ avocado, stick blend any veggies you're having with dinner (sweet corn/carrot etc), use a spoon or let them dig in with their hands. They make an almighty fucking mess to begin with so expect a full change of clothes often. Health visitors apparently only get concerned if they're not eating by a year.

VladmirsPoutine · 13/03/2019 11:48

@DuchessOfPhysics You did what!? - I can't even begin to imagine how you must have felt when it dawned on you!

OP, tis always thus! My sister used to say that everyone lived - even if we everyone was a bit rough around the edges come bed time it was another day survived. It's relentless and you do yourself a dis-service by criticising yourself. It doesn't always get easier but it does change.

Original poster

Mississippilessly · 13/03/2019 13:58

Duchess didnt do it, there was a news article yestetday

OP posts:

Ohyesiam · 13/03/2019 14:08

Oh op my first was just like this. If I ever managed to vaguely wrap my head around what it was that she needed she would immediately go into a new phase and everything would change. She is a delightful well just happy activities teen now though, so it all works out in the end.

Babies exist to make you feel guilty and shit.
subsequent ones are much much easier though they just slip in where they have to in the family pattern.

If there was a way Of not making your First born the centre of your existence it really solve problems but I don’t think that’s possible.

Took me years to get my house properly sorted out after I had a baby. We moved when she was about six months old, I could not get organised, and nothing felt right in the house till she went to school.

Ohyesiam · 13/03/2019 14:12

And fuck baby hummus, pouches rule!
If you get a banana and peel one side of it and slide a teaspoon down that side you end up with a teaspoon full of lovely goooey creamy banana mash which babies love to eat. No plate, no mashing, just easy food. This knowledge made my life much easier and my babies lived on banana.

Narya · 13/03/2019 15:52

Get some new mum friends! I found my group drifted apart as our different parenting choices revealed that we had nothing in common besides babies of the same age. I used a lot of pouches, spoon fed and went back to work full time when DS was 10 months. Others did blw, homemade hummus and probably still haven't eaten any chocolate since giving birth. Just do what works for you!

EssentialHummus · 13/03/2019 15:54

I’m just here to drop off more of this:

JellicleCat · 13/03/2019 16:03

Eat the chocolate. Dd slept fine at night, but would never nap in her cot. I too can remember going out in the car to make sure she slept and then sitting on the drive. She was also a really fussy eater, spat out the home made food, so I fed her on jars (no pouches back then). We both survived! She now has a degree and a job and eats most things.

It will get better, you are not a rubbish parent and sod the hummus feeding smug parents.

Cuch · 13/03/2019 16:46

I had a Velcro baby who couldn’t bear to be put down, woke several times a night, screamed and cried constantly, hated his pushchair, hated the car, hated everything TBH. He was an utter nightmare and I felt such a failure and just wanted to walk away and leave him. He suddenly became absolutely angelic and really easy at around 2 years old and has been the loveliest, easiest child ever since (now 11). It’s a phase - a horrible, miserable phase. I promise it will pass even though at the moment it feels like forever.

Original poster

Mississippilessly · 13/03/2019 19:40

Thanks everyone. He decided to be whiny all day but was mega smiley for DH so I seized the opportunity and got to the gym. I now ache!

I tried him with some homemade smush again for lunch and he ate some and smiled so I'm pleased (though I warned it in the frying pan I had fried a chicken breast in - I'm breeding a lion I think!)
I just feel a bit battered on every side. I could cope with bad nights if he napped in his cot in the day or vice versa. But I get v little down time.

OP posts:

LaPufalina · 13/03/2019 20:19

Well done on getting some time for you!
I've got a six month old (and a two year old) and it's fucking relentless, but it gets easier from now on (disclaimer: so far, with my two year old!)

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