Got asked when I'm due today

[thinkbeforeyouspeak]

And I'm not pregnant

I've name changed because I'm embarrassed, but I am a regular poster.

Today someone asked me 'When are you due?'. I'm not pregnant. I have children and am very apple shaped, so I do have a bit of a tummy, but I am size 10-12 and have been losing weight for the past 18 months. This has really thrown me and I feel really upset by what this person said. I know I have a tummy but didn't think I actually looked pregnant. The person was mortified which just made it even more humiliating.

I don't know why I'm posting this really but just feeling very down and wondering why on earth someone would ask this unless they were 100% sure?! Urgh just feels rubbish

Aw I'm sorry to hear this. If it's any consolation I was in the doctors waiting room last week and a receptionist loudly shouted to a lady "I take it you're here to see the midwife, can you move over to where her room is", the lady replied "no I'm not and I'm not pregnant but now you've made me feel like I need to loose weight". It was especially embarrassing as the waiting room is very small and the receptionist was very loud so everyone heard. The lady didn't even look pregnant to me!
I'm sure you don't look pregnant

Someone asked me if I was expecting once and I wasn’t. I replied “no I’m clearly just looking very fat”. She was very embarrassed which is exactly what I was aiming for. It’s such a stupid and insensitive thing to say as you have no idea what’s going on with people and - more importantly - it’s none of your damn business!

Oh goodness that's awful! I feel so cross because I just felt responsible for the person feeling bad but actually I should've been a bit more honest with her! Tell her you shouldn't say that even if you think it! It's just made me really self conscious when I had been gaining in confidence because I've lost almost 3 stone recently. Argh, it's frustrating!

I once read you shouldn’t ask if someone is pregnant unless you can see the baby crowning. Sounds like good advice!

@Hunkyd0ry very good advice!! I just don't get it!! Am of course now binge eating chocolate because I feel so crap

I have had this a few times and feel your pain

I get a bloated belly, normally in the afternoon, but otherwise normal size 10/12.

It’s pants. Really sorry you feel down about it. Don’t feel guilty. The person who said should feel awful

It never ceases to amaze me the number of people who will make comments like this,without actually knowing for sure that the person concerned is pregnant! There is a young woman who works in my favourite cafe,who I am pretty certain is about 7 or 8 months pregnant at the moment. But I daren't say anything,just in case!

@SnuggleSnuggleBlanket thanks. I too am constantly bloated, that plus apple shape and baby belly is not a good combination, but I hadn't thought I actually looked pregnant. And she must've been pretty sure to say that!

I’m an Apple too op, I feel your pain. The only thing that has reduced my middle is the blood sugar diet plus doing the plank every day. All other diets I loose it on my reasonably slim bits.....

@ALongHardWinter I know, I would never ever say anything even if they were about to burst!! It's just not worth the risk! I also feel like now she's going to tell this story to other people and be like 'oh it was so embarrassing I asked 'think' if she was pregnant and she wasn't' and they will start to think the same and it's just humiliating

This happened to a friend who definitely definitely doesn’t look pregnant. Some people are just bizarre/rude.

@Ohyesiam it's shit isn't it. I am v envious of pear shapes as even if they are carrying more weight they don't get awkward questions like this. I have been doing the 5:2 diet and have hit a bit of a wall with it so maybe the blood sugar thing is worth a try. I am going to start the ab challenge thing on Monday too now, this has spurred me on

I've told this before on here. I was once asked if I was pregnant. I wasn't, I was embarrassed and put it down to the cut of the top I was wearing. Told some people at work and we all had a bit of a laugh.

A few weeks later one of the colleagues asked me, "Is that the top you were wearing when someone asked you if you were pregnant?" It wasn't.

I threw two tops away and started re evaluating my style choices!

Someone asked me if I was pregnant recently, I am a size 10 too and no visible bump shape as far as I could see. So rude even if we were!

You've lost 3 stone: be proud and don't use someone else's mistake to stuff yourself full of junk. Come on OP - personal responsibility. Only you control what you put in your mouth.

I’ve had this years ago, while 7st and built like the gable end of a fiver, some people are just plain nosey/rude.
Now I am heavily pregnant (36weeks) I’m so tempted to say no when someone asks.. like if you don’t already know I’m pregnant you probably don’t need to know anyway.

Also - decent strong probiotics get rid of bloat.

Apple shaped too. I've had this a couple of times. Some people have no manners. It could be a medical condition,ie hernia or any number of things or they may just carry their weight round the middle. It's so so rude. Next time I'm asking when their manners are due. If she told this story to me I would say she was rude for being so personal.

A lady said it to me as I said our goodbyes after her interview at our workplace. She didn’t get the job.

@LemonRedwood that's awful. I was wearing my favourite dress so don't want to stop wearing it!! She basically blamed my dress saying it was the way it is cut . I'm not going to stop wearing it as I love it!

@otterturk you are totally right. I have done well and just need to remember that. I can't help my body shape/genetics. I am going to not feel guilty about enjoying some nice food this weekend though and then get back on it on Monday. Maybe this was the kick up the bum I needed. Will try probiotics, thanks for the tip!

Agree with all PPs it is SO RUDE. Next time I won't be so polite I think!!

Oh op, this happened to me not so long ago. A client said "I'm so sorry, I didn't get the chance to congratulate you and I replied on what? (That should have been a que but he continued with) on your pregnancy. I just replied I hope not and laughed. He was horrified.

Like you and other posters. I am an apple shape, carry all my weight round my middle and size 10/12 I think it's very unfortunate as it's our shape. Xx

This happened to me, but it was a senior member of staff in an organisation linked to mine - met him in the street and he asked when the happy event was and nodded down.. what was excruciating is that I had recently become engaged and thought he was nodding towards my engagement ring, so told him the date of the wedding some 7 months away.

He looked extremely confused and then said something about asking if I needed to sit down during presentations, the penny dropped for me and I had to carry on the conversation for another couple of minutes while dying inside........

Apple shape here too, and have had this happen on several occasions. Luckily I'm a gobshite so a firm loud I'm not pregnant I just have a belly usually reduces the other person to a red faced embarrassed apology

@Racheyg sorry that happened to you too, it is so embarrassing! Especially as it was a client as you can't exactly be rude back!! It seems no matter how much weight I lose I always have a big tummy and double chin. I think the only way is to do a lot of planking, what joy!!

@Nishky oh how excruciating! I almost just said I was pregnant as it would've been less humiliating!! Would've been slightly awkward explaining that away though .

@hmwhatsmynameagain next time (although I hope there isn't a next time) I will be a lot firmer and point out the rudeness!

@thinkbeforeyouspeak like you have lost a lot of weight ( about 4 stone) after dc's and no matter how much I weigh lowest was 9st 6. I still had my tummy, but looked gaunt everywhere else. It's so disheartening.

You have done so well.