Got asked when I'm due today

[thinkbeforeyouspeak]

And I'm not pregnant

I've name changed because I'm embarrassed, but I am a regular poster.

Today someone asked me 'When are you due?'. I'm not pregnant. I have children and am very apple shaped, so I do have a bit of a tummy, but I am size 10-12 and have been losing weight for the past 18 months. This has really thrown me and I feel really upset by what this person said. I know I have a tummy but didn't think I actually looked pregnant. The person was mortified which just made it even more humiliating.

I don't know why I'm posting this really but just feeling very down and wondering why on earth someone would ask this unless they were 100% sure?! Urgh just feels rubbish

A lady said it to me as I said our goodbyes after her interview at our workplace. She didn’t get the job.

I bet she didn’t!!

Not your fault or your problem. I’m so afraid of doing this (having had it happen to me after a miscarriage) that I will go to huge lengths to avoid asking... to the extent a colleague laughed at me because she was 35weeks pregnant, looked suitably pregnant and was talking about when she was “away” and I said...”oh do you have a holiday planned?”

Let the person who made the embarrassing mistake carry the shame!

PS Well done on losing so much weight! That’s an amazing achievement.

@Racheyg it's really difficult isn't it - I'm like that too and end up just losing weight from bum and legs but the tummy stays the same. I'm going to try the probiotics so will see if that makes a difference...

@Blahdeblahbahhhhh I'm so sorry about your MC, that must've been so upsetting. I hope that person felt suitably ashamed of themselves. That's exactly what I would do!! Much rather be safe than sorry!! Thanks re the weight loss, I was feeling good about it but this has now thrown me and I just think what's the point if I'm still going to loon pregnant anyway

I was asked when I'm due at work whilst having a miscarriage. It is incredibly insensitive of people to ask. I think they often do it spur of the moment without thinking. I was also asked years ago when I was slim with no tummy, just wearing a big jumper, I was very confused by that. It doesn't necessarily mean you actually look pregnant.

yup, i was asked, we were at a staff party and it was the first time meeting these people, husbands new job
a group of ladies were chatting and came over to me and asked when i was due, i smiled and said im not pregnant, just fat and walked off
we didnt hang out after that

I had it too, when I was a size 8.
It also turned out I had a fist sized ovarian cyst, which I had to have removed a month later. But I still didn't look any bigger than someone 4 months or so, which is way too risky to ask when someone is due.

This happened to me in a supermarket. I chose to be flattered, given that I was 57 at the time.

I was in a pub once drinking alcohol when the musician asked me over the microphone when I was due, I replied that the baby was in fact three years old

I've had it so many times that I have concluded that I do look pregnant.

Worst was when a colleague asked when I was due and I breezily said "oh, it's not me who's pregnant, I think you are mixing me up with Sarah" to let him off the hook. He looked at me confused and said "No it's definitely you who is pregnant"

Have also been asked many times when I'm due on nights out when clearly drinking alcohol!

Couldn't make this up - got asked AGAIN today if I am expecting . Thinking of getting a badge made saying 'I AM NOT PREGNANT'. Making me think I need to re-evaluate my clothes though, although I really don't want to. Urgh.

Bumping cos I feel sorry for myself

Oh you poor thing @thinkbeforeyouspeak
What an utter wankbadger. Who was it?

As I posted above, this happened to me too, and it was more than one occasion. Made me feel utterly shit. But, those people meant nothing to me and I know that my body is fabulous, it grew, birthed and fed a baby, and if “mum tum” is what I’m left with, then so be it.

Go easy on yourself and , lots of

A hairdresser once started stroking and patting my stomach while asking when I was due. I was not pregnant. Then I had to sit through a whole bloody haircut with the weirdo. Who grabs a random person's stomach?! This was pre-baby / pre-jaffacakes binges, so I was only about a size 8 too.

Why rude are some women? Why ask? Its intrusive. Ive had this. I was a size 8 (10 now) and i still have a belly as im not stick thin. I made the person who asked feel really uncomfortable. Bloody great!

I will never ask.

I don't mean to make you self-conscious, but you said you d lost a lot of weight- is it possible you still walk/hold yourself as though you still have the extra weight?

I just ask because a lot of the time when I think people look pregnant it's not that they're carrying extra weight, it's that they start walking differently, or holding themselves differently and I know when you lose weight in a short space of time it can be hard to fully realise that you take up less room, if that makes sense.

If it is that, I'd say some yoga/swimming/something to make you feel more attuned to your body might help if it bothers you. Or a massage - I think we can be really tough on our bodies, and it's important to be kind to yourself. No matter how unthinking other people are it's not a reflection on you, and your body is strong and amazing and deserves some love.

I’ve had this a few times recently - my next door neighbour has asked me twice if I have news or when am I due - I’ve replied with ‘I’m just fat!’ Also the cashier in M&S asked how far along I am. I have put on a lot of weight and am an apple too. I can’t really disguise it though so I’ll just our up with it til I lose weight!

This happened to me on a train recently! I was wearing a full skirted suit and was standing at an odd angle, leaning against the back of the train with my hips sort of forward, I suppose making it look like there was a bump under the skirt. A really nice lady offered me her seat and was then so embarrassed when I said I wasn’t pregnant and just had terrible posture! I’m a size 6-8 with a completely flat stomach so I most definitely do not look pregnant (when I stand up straight).

@SnuggleSnuggleBlanket haha at 'wankbadger'! That is a great insult . I agree it has produced and nourished two children, it just hurts as I've put so much effort in to losing weight and it just feels pointless if I'm still going to look pregnant. Thing is they must've been pretty sure, and thought I was quite far along, to risk it iyswim? It was another person from work (the first was too). It's just so humiliating as she will now go and tell the story of how she asked someone if they were expecting and then they will start thinking it too, aaarghhhh. I just want to crawl up and hide. I have only just started the job too so will forever be that person who everyone thought was pregnant but wasn't .

@Sizeofalentil that is so weird! Even if you were pregnant, that would still be so weird! And how excruciating to have to sit through a whole hair cut, that sounds beyond awkward. Poor you!!

@Wendywoo1000 I know, it's so bizarre!! She kind of said 'oh you're expecting aren't you' as if someone else had told her, so I wonder if she had been talking about it with someone else. I don't think so though. I got home last night and looked in the mirror and it's true, I do look pregnant . I'm definitely not though!

@babyworry2018 you have a point, my posture has always been bad and something I am aware of. This might spur me on to improve it a bit. Sadly I don't have time for yoga etc but will try and work on posture