Sensitive question about death and what I need to do.

[Toooldtobearsed2]

The police called me tonight to tell me that a distant relative was found dead in their home last week.
I am the only surviving relative they could find, he never married, his oarents are dead and he had no siblings.
He lived in a council flat and had been dead for some time before a neighbour contacted the police.
There has been an autopsy and death was due to natural causes.

I am collecting keys from the Council on Monday to go to his flat and try to find any information I can - a will, bank details etc.,
I need to get a death certificate and tell the coroner which funeral director to release his body to.

I am absolutely lost with what needs to happen. I have no access to any money he might have - who sorts that out? How can I pick a funeral Director if I dont know how the funeral bill will be paid? What do i do with the contents of his flat? The council want it back..... i surely cannot just throw stuff away, its not mine to dispose of. What if I cleared the flat only to find that he had a will somewhere ( and how do I find that out), and he wanted everything to go to the cats home?

He lived 90 miles away, which makes everything an even bigger pain.

Really out of my depth, so if anyone has experience or knowledge, I will really appreciate some help😊

Hopeful bump

What a pain for you.
Could you just claim not to know him?

Well....no.

Apart from authorities tracking me down, I feel terrible thinking that anyone can lie dead in their home for days and no one knew or cared.
If I died in yhose circumstances, i would hope that someone would care enough to tidy up after me.

I am dreading it and do feel out of my depth, but will certainly do what I can, even if its not much😶

There's may be an officer in the council who deals with people who die with no one, they may advise. Don't go to the flat alone. Someone will have been in already, talk to them. If you accept this responsibility it's no different from any other relative, you just find out what you can and deal accordingly. You have the choice not to deal with it, even if you are executor you can decline. Depends on how you feel about it, whether you want to do it. If their is no money the council can organise a funeral, or social security may give a grant. Explain to funeral director, they will have done it before. You can still go to funeral if you want. Good luck op, take your time to decide how involved you want to be

Thanks Missingstreetlife, that was really helpful.
My problem is just not knowing what I can and cannot do, iyswim.

What if i find bank statements and he has thousands stashed away (exceptionally unlikely, but this is the type of question I cannot find an answer to), and has no will. Who do I tell, who sorts that kind of stuff out?
If he has a couple of thousand in the bank, how do I access it to pay for the funeral?

Who do I ask about these things?

My parents died a few years ago, but I knew them, they had wills, i knew their wishes. And obviously, I paid for their funerals. This is so different i am a bit stuck.

Appreciate the help @Missingstreetlife

If there is money in an account, the Funeral Director bills can usually be paid directly - the executor of the estate can organise it with the bank. Hopefully you’ll find a will that names an executor but if not and you are willing to act as executor, there is a lot of advice on the government website. I’ll find a link.

www.gov.uk/after-a-death

I've PM'd you, OP.

I'm guessing one thing to start is a lot of bin bags and a lot of boxes. And bring someone along to help if you can. Bin anything that's obviously junk or of no use to anyone, earmark one box for paperwork that is or could be relevant, one box for things that might be worth giving to someone else/freecycling/charity shop, one box for things you might want to keep for one reason or another. If there's furniture in decent condition, find out if a local charity can come and take it away.

Citizen's Advice look like they can advise about what to do on someone's death - it's exactly the sort of thing they are there for.

Hope you can find some help, and good on you for taking this on - reminds me that there's a Jewish saying that the greatest good deed is to help someone who can't thank you.

@madrush thank you so much!
Will have a good read of the links and stop tryimg to secomd guess myself all the time 😁

@Cuddlysnowleopard thank you 😘

@Echobelly thank you so much for your help. I think there may have to be a few trips up and down the motorway before everything gets sorted 🙄

Battery about to die, so thanks to all!

How very sad for your relative. It sounds as though you are next of kin and so executor and beneficiary if no will is found naming others. I agree that you’re going to need a systematic few hours to sort junk from items of financial or sentimental value - it would be good to have someone with you to help if you can. Best wishes.

CAB were very helpful to me in a similar situation. Also the Coroner can offer advice.

Be very careful about naming a funeral director, if you do so then you are committed to paying for it, even if there are no funds available. If there is money on his account then go to his bank with a copy of the death certificate and they will authorise payment of the funeral. If there is no money to pay for a funeral then do not panic or be manipulated into paying, unless of course you want to. When you find where you stand financially then go visit a funeral director and explain the circumstances. Funerals need not be as expensive as we are led to believe. Last July I paid £1200 for a very basic cremation with no mourners/flowers etc; it was a local family firm and they assured me the body would be treated with the utmost respect. They were lovely and very helpful. If even this is more money than you can find then the hospital will cremate the remains. They don't like to advertise this but it is a fairly common practice with deceased who have no relatives and no one to intervene.

The Council will probably prove to be your worst problem. They will want the flat emptied extremely fast, possibly within a week!! They are not generally sympathetic to your problems with distance etc. Just grab all and any paperwork you can find; anything you may personally want and let them empty out the rubbish. It's not your responsibility although they will likely try to tell you it is!

Please have someone with you from both a practical and an emotional view.

Oh.. and the registrar (who you go to for the certificate) will be able to offer you a 'tell all' service whereby they inform all relevant authorities of your relatives death, such as DWP, tax, DVLA and several other I can't recall off the top of my head.

Get several copies of the certificate, they are £4 each on the day but if you need more afterwards then they cost £11 each. Four or five are the recommended number to have to send to various people and send then recorded delivery; most will return them. Photocopies will not do, they need to be certified copies from the registrar.

Good luck. It is a nightmare jungle of conflicting information. It made me very ill dealing with it, hopefully you are younger and tougher than me.

My mum went to register a death recently and was told by the registrar that she could not do so unless she also signed to say she'd pay the funeral costs.
If there's no will, or you're not the beneficiary, or there's no money in the estate to pay for funeral costs, you may end up inadvertently taking responsibility for costs which won't be recouped. Be careful.
And i hate to ask but are you prepared for the state of the flat? It may be that no one has cleared up after the death, you may need to arrange for fumigation etc.

When I used the “tell all” service when I registered DF’s death I needed to provide details of his national insurance number, passport number, driving license. So it might be necessary to do that after you have registered the death and gone through the flat. Think you can do it online

If there is money you can pay solicitor to deal with it. If no money it will be simple. If other relatives traced you follow rules of intestacy if no will. It will all become clear. You can take legal advice without employing a solicitor (your home insurance or trade union may provide this). Just one step at a time

Hi OP. You've been given good advice by others. This link may also help.
www.gov.uk/after-a-death

Check out alternative methods of burying.

If there is no one to mourn him you could get what's called direct disposal.

It's the cheapest way of burying, cremating someone.
David Bowie did it. The owner of body shop did it and it's becoming popular.

Google it I can't link.
Also check out good funeral guide which lists good reputable rated funeral directors.

Get death certificate and then you can go to banks Etc and see what's there. If over certain amount they're may not release it's
We

Delphi that sounds Very suspect!!

My stepdad died suddenly in an accident in December. As there was a post mortem the coroner will send out death certificates and you don’t need to actually register the death. (This was the case for us anyway).

Contact any banks and make appointments to see them. Money in the accounts if any can be used for funeral but over a certain amount can’t be released. There wasn’t much in our case so don’t know what process would be to get the rest released.

Good luck

When I've had to sort out someone's affairs after death I found the gov.uk website helpful in listing all the things that need doing.

https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death

Sorry. Seen that link has already been posted 🙂

Be cautious about contacting an undertaker as you could then be liable for funeral costs.
The local council may have grants available for funerals for those with no assets, also there may be government grants that you are eligible for.

Lots of luck to you through this difficult time.

Just noticed that he was in a Council flat, possibly you could offer to pay the rent for a week or two to give your self time to get organised?
Keep clear records of everything that you spend while dealing with his estate, phone calls, petrol etc etc as you should be able to get that refunded from his estate if there are any funds.

Just a quick update by way of thanking everyone for their help.

Well, no one told me there had been a dog in the flat with him when he died......... The lovely policemen who broke in found the dog near death, starving and frightened. He fed him and took him to the local 24hr vet. Someone there wants to adopt the dog, so one less thing to worry about.
Other than that, everything was a bloody nightmare. He was a hoarder. Every piece of paper, every letter, every flier for anything from take aways to loft conversions have been kept for the past 30 odd years. He has bought and bought and bought. Bedding, towels, ornaments, tat off shopping channels. A lot if it is still in wrappers.
He was also up to his eyes in debt. A lot of debt. Owed to banks and credit cards. Thankfully not council tax or rent.

I need to go back up on Wednesday to register the death. I will do the 'tell everyone' thing, which worked well after my mum died, but will then have to walk away I think.

I will not pay for his funeral, horrible though that might make me. I have not seen him for forty years, we were children when we last met and to be blunt, i have better things to do with a couple of grand.

I had really hoped to do something kind for him, his passing was bloody awful, lying there for God knows how long and no one knew, or cared, but I am a bit stuck now.

Anyhow, many thanks for your help 😊