Booked a holiday forgetting about sister's wedding

[whatonearth99]

We haven't been away for 2 years, and a lovely relative has paid for us to take a family holiday abroad in summer as a present.

All booked and paid for. Except we forgot DH's sister had sent us a save the date. Wedding invitation has come, we have realised we're due to be away.

I can't go on the hen do for financial reasons so it will look really, really shit if we miss the wedding too.

To change the holiday will cost £600+ which we can't really afford but could stretch to if desperate. Would put big financial pressure on us though.

What makes it worse is that as far as DH's family is probably concerned, we are doing well financially although this isn't true and we don't have reason to tell them otherwise! DH wouldn't want to do this, especially.

WWYD?

Sorry based on your last update I'd go on the holiday! I get I'm in the minority though.

I'd tell her exactly what the situation is, buy them a banging present, and go on your holiday.

If it were me I would go to the wedding but I can’t tell you how you and your DH feel about his much younger lovely half sister.

Another vote for go on the holiday, but I would confess to the mix up.

Can't believe you are even posting this. No question- wedding. They even sent a save the date 🙄

Holiday and a great present
Just tell them it was booked before the STD

Just tell them it was booked before the STD
but the brother waited until he received the actual invit' to tell his sister he couldn't go?
Yes, they will totally believe that.

How would you feel if it was you? You send a STD as soon as you book the venue to help people get organised. Months later you send invitations to be told by a sibling that it's not convenient because they go on holiday. That would hurt, why would anyone be so mean?
The only way to make it even better would be to go on holiday in a place better than the honeymoon.

i'd attend the holiday, rather than lose £1200 of mine and family money.

I agree with your decision to attend the wedding, but weddings are so gawd awful boring. Between that and the extra money you have to pay, I'd be feeling a little low about it all!

But it's an invitation, not a court summons. Ultimately it would be nice to be there, sure, but it's really not the end of the world if you're not.

I think you need to talk to her. Or rather, your other half does. She may not mind - I don't think I would. But be extremely apologetic, and go with a real open mind - don't be grumpy if she says no.

Saying that, you know her best - do you think she will be upset to be even asked?

Is it possible to all go on holiday and your DH get a cheap flight back for the wedding and return to the holiday again the following day? It would be a fair compromise and not as expensive.

I did the opposite OP, got the save the date and deliberately booked the holiday

But in your shoes I'd do what will cause least ill feeling all round.

you should go to the wedding BUT where is the holiday? Could it cost you less to fly back for the day than it would cost to change the holiday?

Your mistake - you must go to the wedding. To go on holiday instead when they gave you a Save the Date is not on.

Expensive mistake you'll never make again!

Depends how close you are as a family.

I get on with my brother and if this happened he prob laugh and tell me to go on holiday.