I have just resigned!

[homemadegin]

Just posting to tell someone really as DH does know but is at work. I have just emailed my work handing my notice in to partnership.

Back story I have finally been blessed with DD after many years of multiple miscarriages. I have a very demanding exhausting job as a solicitor. All male partners, I used to work 14 hours a day. Aside from the work load I was in court every day and then called out most nights. I asked to reduce profit share and go part time which I still had concerns about but that was out voted. They wanted me back on 1st April, DD would be five months old.

So I've thought about it a lot and for her sake and my mental health sake I have resigned. I actually feel relieved. The decision has been made. I have suggested some alternatives as a sort of admin role which they will also refuse. I have saving for about two years and various options I can now start to pursue.

Despite the relief though it's a huge thing, all these years working towards partnership and I'm done. Anyway new chapters and all that.

Anyone else doing anything exciting today?

Congratulations btw

Thanks everyone.

Bit shaky now. Nothing from them apart from a very curt email from the senior partner notorious for taking three pages to say three words.

It says he's very disappointed in me and that they will not be engaging with me further until they have taken appropriate advice as to the repercussions for me. he can't have written that himself as it would be three pages minimum.

So my attempts to justify and remain amicable have fallen on deaf ears clearly.

I know it's over and they can't make me do anything but I still feel a little vulnerable tonight. DH still out lambing so just DD and I.

Yes I agree re covenant, I more meant they think they have the upper hand but again are missing the point. It's not enforceable but I don't want to argue it just now anyway.

I should clarify I am not scared by that threat, I am the court person, he can piss off. More exposed maybe? I don't know. I kind of hoped it maybe wouldn't turn nasty? I don't know why.

It’s a funny thing, when you do well at school, get a good degree, get a great job. It is expected that career will always come first. Some people don’t understand why you want to stop. Some people, who have made different choices to you and put their whole selves into their career, can get quite offended when you stand up and say, ‘Yes, this a good job and I’m proud of what ive achieved, but it is still just a job. It’s not my whole life and it’s not a priority to me any more.’
I had a different profession to you OP but I have walked away from it a few years ago to prioritise my family and I am so so glad that I did. My children are happy and life is good!
Make sure you have that glass of fizz tonight.

They've just made it clear that you made the right decision OP, what a bunch of nasty bastards (apart from your friend).

When the 1st April comes and you look at your baby and think where you would have been it will be more than worth it.

He's cross because you've pissed on his chips OP. They thought you'd put up with their nonsense.

But it turns out their unwillingness to be flexible has cost them a good partner - sounds like you have some specialist skills that they're going to have to find a replacement for, and it's all their own fault.

If you were rubbish, they'd wave you off & wish you well. Stay calm. As with everything in motherhood, this too will pass

I'm (was) a dentist that resigned about 12 months ago due to pressure to up income and create more business re botox fillers I had always said this was not my thing and not what I did dentistry for .

I now work in vintage and antique stuff; My DD is 9 now she is certainly very happy I am around more and not constantly tired from stress, it took me a few months to de-stress; if you were to ask her 30 minutes high quality time is nowhere near as good as just being there from 4pm to bedtime most days, even just being able to do craft/ minecraft/ colouring in the same room as I'm working on PC is in her eyes a bonus, she also understands this means less money for more expensive treats but she prefers this at present ( no doubt once a teenager this will change again)

obviously you are the lawyer not me but I think a restrictive covenant of 50 miles is ridiculous. when I worked in Scottish Highlands a reasonable clause was still only 5-10 miles max, the advice from the BDA our union was in a large city that much over 2 miles was ridiculous

I can understand if you are based in York , you can't take a job in York but to try and stop you working in Harrogate or Sheffield would be silly

enjoy your time out, you obviously have lots of experience so can take longer out than if newly qualified

Well done 👍

Well done! I was a family / children’s solicitor last year when I left to move to the public sector. I’d trained with the firm and been there for years, including as a salaried partner. They had piled increasing amounts of work and pressure on me and I knew I was becoming unwell. Crazy hours including every weekend. They were unpleasant when I left and it was horrid and hurtful - but it is the best thing I’ve done. I feel better and everyone says I look much better too! You have done the right thing. Be kind to yourself as I genuinely think you need time to recover from a workplace like that! Enjoy your baby cuddles!

OP, where I work, we have a full team of in-house solicitors. They’ve all come from practice, wanted a move for work/life balance, and they love it. They work hard between 9 and 5, take their annual leave, take parental leave, waste five mins every few hours chatting about whatever was on tv last night etc.

While some have taken a pay cut, they’re all still on c. £90/100k.

There’s a legal life after practice!

I’m another escapee from private practice and you have absolutely made the right decision. They sound like the usual misogynistic twonks who think you should be grateful for the 14 hour daily grind! They will be there forever and a day.... but you, DD, DH and the lambs have adventures ahead. Enjoy the Prosecco!!

Well done for quitting while you're ahead before the job damaged you more. I did similar a few years back and have never regretted the decision. I've taken a few flexible short term contracts to keep my toe in but for now my mental health & kids come first.

There's lots of things you can do while you're enjoying motherhood to keep your options open.

• Volunteer to be a trustee at a charity - they usually meet a few times a year to make strategic decisions. Someone with your legal background would be highly valued.

• work as a seminar tutor on an UG law course. They're usually contracted termly to run a few small group seminars.

• private tutor

Just a few things where you can use your legal knowledge and keep your cv active while working flexibility for a while.

www.ten2two.org

But for now do nothing and enjoy your freedom.

Repercussions?? What on Earth is he on about? You are legally allowed to resign, presumably you have given notice correctly. Ignore their shite, OP and enjoy your gorgeous dd. 😍

He will be referring to money. I'm due a fair bit in terms of my share. I've seen it before when male partners have left to go elsewhere they will start trying to deduct ridiculous things. I actually don't think I care. This isn't about money it's about DD.

I do understand u have to be tough on that though because I am in danger of saying just keep it and leave me be. Which is silly.

Thank you for all your comments, support and encouragement. Some great ideas here as well going forward. I still feel ok, wee bit sick but more about the thought of Agro than the leaving bit.

Have enjoyed reading all the other exciting things as well. Thank you

Get the money you should!!!

The money will benefit your dd and will give you more options.

Solicitors for some reason can be extraordinarily silly about employment and partnership issues. A friend of mine and some colleagues left what was then a reasonably well-known firm because they could see the writing on the wall as the firm was moving away from their sort of work, and they were being increasingly treated as the black sheep of the firm despite being pretty profitable. Managing partner didn't take it at all well and made all sorts of threats of litigation but, being a group of litigation solicitors, unsurprisingly they had ensured they were bomb-proof and told him to feel free to try. According to a mole in the know, the managing partner spent a fortune on getting legal advice from outside firms trying to find some justification for suing, only to be told to forget it, and he spent several months in a dreadful hissy fit about it all. To no-one's surprise, the firm's attempt to move away into other fields of work just never took off, and it ended up closing down.

Congrats! My DH has similar veiled threats when he resigned from a plc he helped found. It all came to nothing following a brief flurry of solicitors letters (😉)

For many years I regretted not following a legal career, but more recently I’ve changed my mind after hearing similar stories to yours OP.

Enjoy your beautiful baby and the lambs (I love bottle feeding lambs 💕)

He sounds like a right bawbag! You've quite clearly made the right decision x