How does this wedding sound?

[Firstty]

Wedding for around 180 guests. Barn venue (ceremony and evening spent here). April so may be inside all day. Food- canapés (4 each), starter = sharing platter of local meats, cheeses and chutneys. Main- hog roast served with 3 salads and a potato dish (goats cheese and red pepper tarts for veggies), dessert brownie (or possibly more sweet canapés), evening- a fajita bar. Drink all free- we will have fizz handed out with canapés and toast. Large buckets of ice with beers, wine and soft fizzy drinks. A few bottles of spirits too. Wine and water served with meal. Will then have a makeshift bar that guests(and us!) take it in turns to man for 30 mins.

How does this sound to you? What would you/wouldn't you like about it? If you got an invitation which asked you to name your favourite tipple on the rsvp would you be annoyed? (just so we don't end up with loads of red wine but run out of white, and can make sure we have any specially requested spirits etc)

One thought going to France with a van. You need to go before the 29th March or we might not be in the EU and there will be very strict limits on duty free.

I think it sounds great! I would skip the sharing platters and have the extra canapes, and as a pp said, ask for a preference for drinks but word it so that every guest doesn't expect to get an unlimited supply of their favorite (expensive) tipple. What about music/entertainment?

I'd be unimpressed with fish and chips or pizza at a wedding, those are every day cheap and cheerful options, weddings are special occasions. Also vans outside wouldn't be much fun if you get April showers. A hog roast is much better but make sure there is rain cover where people are queueing.

"I’d personally make sure the veggies have their own food? Meat eaters tend to want to try some of the veggie one, leaving fuck all for the veggies"

This! Really pisses me off that meat eaters often scoff the minimal veggie options. Make sure there's plenty veggie options available. Also lots of people don't like goats cheese (plus it's kinda "everywhere" at the moment for veggies and always getting the same offering is irritating)

Are there going to be teens there? Because if so a basic "free for all" on the booze is a terrible idea.

I think you've massively underestimated the cost of the booze. £2000 for 180 people is only £11 approx per person over how many hours? 10?? That equates to roughly 2-3 drinks each? Over 10 hours??? I don't think that's realistic at all.

There's a reason 3ish is the traditional time for weddings in uk. Then guests tend to have lunch before wedding and the wedding "breakfast" is served around usual dinner time 6-7 pm which isn't too long a gap.

I don't think guests running the bar is a good idea at all, as pp said there's a LOT more to running a bar than pouring drinks and many people can't even manage that sensibly.

There's possible legal and health and safety ramifications for starters. If one of your friends that "help" with the bar is less than hygienic even on a basic level you could end up with a lot of sick and unhappy guests bugging you the next day!

Similar issue with sharing platters.

Oh hog roast for the main sounds amazing, sometimes a finger of meat, a smear of sauce and a broccoli sprig is never enough! Love the fajitas bar for evening and the canapes...ugh so hungry right now.

Op in the nicest possible way as you seem lovely and thoughtful

Your wedding is starting to sound like a village fete . Magician, caricaturist, hog roast.

Pause and think about it. Take a step back. Forget the entertainment. These people are there to celebrate your marriage. Not watch a card trick.

Great food, nice drink (need not all be free!), not waiting around - and a happy couple!! These are the ingredients for a great wedding.

Bit patronising. She also has lots of kids attending and wants them to have a good time too.

Barn setting lots of kids - trust me they will amuse themselves!

Playing "playground" games, dancing, role play games...

They'll be fine. I had loads of kids at my wedding too (frankly the child free wedding thing escapes me) if I could have I'd have had only child guests - they were far more polite, entertaining and fun than the adults.

Went to wedding recently with my two (almost and 7 at the time). 8 other children

Little craft table and that was it.
It was perfect. Some did some craft others didn’t touch it. Parents brought bits and then finally a few settled in front of a film on an iPad whilst others danced!

Almost 5

I would definetly hire staff to man the bar, minimum of 2 for 180 guests. The cost of staff will be minimal compared to the cost of home poured measures.

Make sure if you don't have optics you have measures for the spirits. And either wine classes with a measure mark on them or small glasses. Otherwise you will have an awful lot of awfully bladdered guests by 8pm.

I would get basic spirits, vodka, gin, bacardi, whiskey and tell guests to byo any alternative they fancy. But double up on vodka and gin as they will probably be the most popular.

How are you doing beer? If it's cans some people will moan, you may be able to hire a temporary pump and buy lager/beer by the barrel which will be cheaper.

Here is what I would do, if it is within your budget:
—Serve one white wine, one red wine, two or three types of beer, and a couple of signature cocktails. (Try to choose different cocktails so most people will have something they like.) Don’t forget lots of soft drinks and juice for the non-drinkers, and champagne for the toasts. You don’t need anything else. This will please 99% of people and the rest will manage to have fun anyway.

This x100, sounds perfect but I agree I would get some bar staff too.

Re the food, sounds great, perfect, and contrary to others I think good food vans are far preferable to mediocre wedding food

The thing is, manning the bar also means collecting glasses, mopping up spillages, etc. Just get a couple of bar person for the evening it will make a massive difference, don't get your guests to do it. It probably sounds fun to them but when they're clearing up broken glass or washing glasses or you've run out of ice or whatever because you've run out, less so. Use some of the drinks budget.

Your food menu is quite bog standard. I would be disappointed to eat that

Well, aren't you a delight.

Sounds lovely to me OP

The starter and fajita bar sound great and the canapés. I'm less of a fan of hog roast, have never had a good one.

Most people don't eat their dinner at 4pm.

Either move the ceremony forward, and make the reception a lunch, starting at 1.30ish

Or move it back (then everyone will know they need to have lunch before) and then canapés from 5ish, eating at 6.

You can then prune the evening food considerably.

I had a wedding with bar all free and home bought stuff rather than bar prices.
Paid two 18 year olds to man the bar, collect glasses etc.
Also paid for a wedding planning person who coordinated them and everything else going on.
Totally worth it. It's not just about pouring drinks....empty glasses need to be dealt with and it is inevitable that free bar means more abandoned drinks too. And it was only 70 or so guests in our case.

I’m of an age that has catered funerals rather than weddings in the past few years. 😁. I always provide wine, beer, soft drinks, tea and coffee. What I won’t provide is spirits. If guests must have gin, vodka, whisky then they can provide their own. As others have said, I really wouldn’t ask for people’s favourite drink. It won’t ruin their day to not have it and if it does, then tough.

Don't just have soft drinks as your nonalcohol alternative. Not everyone likes fizzy drinks. As someone who doesn't drink carbonated or alcohol, you currently don't have anything apart from boring water for me to drink.

Also up the canapes, otherwise the people nearest the kitchen will scoff the lot and many people won't get any.

I'd assumed your catering staff would be walking round with the canapes, so they would be shared out, but yes, do more if they are going to be put out buffet style.

I also agree with non-fizzy soft drinks, I like fizzy drinks but can't drink more than a couple in a day, juices and cordials too would be a goid idea.