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Original poster

Your life 5 years ago?

70 replies

YogaWannabe · 04/03/2019 23:31

I found an old phone from 5 years ago and it has knocked me down how much my life has changed since then.
Ex was cheating at the time but I was unaware, our photos are full of days out and family holidays of me, him and DD.
I’m so much happier and carefree in all the photos, I’ve aged a good 15 years and gained a shit load of weight.
My cv looks as if it has gone totally backwards since then too and have taken massive pay cuts as I now have to work around DD on my own.
My dad is older and I worry about his health.
I have less friends and definitely less laughs than I did then.
Much more stress/depression.

It has really depressed the life out of me tbh!

What was your life like 5 years ago?

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 04/03/2019 23:44

My life imploded just over five years ago. I had a 2.5 year old DS (a late baby in my long marriage) when my "D"H upped and left for an OW I didn't know existed. I was pretty happy although the baby was very very hard work (and had just been referred for an ASD assessment). I was 45. My life has been pretty crap ever since and ex and OW have made it a misery. My Dad has been diagnosed with Alzheimers, I lost two very precious aunties (second mums, mine is dead), I will never be able to return to my previous job, I have had some frightening health scares (particularly being a single parent, ex is barely involved), dreadful MH problems and PTSD. Two long court battles in relation to DS and divorce/finances. I have had to rely on benefits having earned all my life. It has been a shitfest of a time and I cannot believe what's happened to me and how my life changed literally overnight. I had everything planned out, a future that I thought was secure. There have been some positives and I am in a much better place now, I am glad ex has gone, my DS is a wonderful little boy and a joy, my DD is doing brilliantly at uni. I accept that at approaching 50 things are never going to be as I had hoped, but it's not the end of the world and I will carve something out of this eventually.

I think it's important to have some focus, important to look after yourself, try and keep fit, eat as well as you can. I try and say "yes" to everything. I have a wonderful FWB that means I still have a sex life. I take a day at a time and remind myself that I am still strong and capable! I hope things improve for you too Flowers

RomanticFatigue · 04/03/2019 23:50

I was "happily married".

Well, I was happily married, but my then DH and now exH apparently wasn't.
I'm now divorced and in a new relationship, but like you OP, I am a shadow of my former happy and carefree self. I used to laugh so easily. Not now. Sad

Original poster
YogaWannabe · 04/03/2019 23:51

Oh TheFormidableMrsC how absolutely awful! I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been through so much!
It’s scary that tears can take so much of you and change you in so many ways they make you unrecognizable!

I’m usually a really positive person and usually always find the best in everything, I’ve always been really thankful not to be with ex anymore and still am but it’s strange to be viewing the impact the last five years have had on me from a factual point of view.

Hopefully we can both look back on now, in five years time and think how far we’ve come and how happy we are!

OP posts:
Original poster
YogaWannabe · 04/03/2019 23:53

RomanticFatigue I hope you get yourself back! I like to imagine being built back up, stronger and more interesting than ever!
But I suppose it won’t just happen itself.
Enjoy your new relationship Flowers

OP posts:
SweetButaPsycho · 05/03/2019 00:07

It's a mix for me. My mental health was awful, I was still with my ex attempting to forgive his cheating but I was happy with our life and my very low, paid job was great fun and I enjoyed it. Now, I'm in a better place mentally and financially. But I have a new well paid job that bores me to tears! I'm single but enjoying discovering myself again and travelling.

AlmostGrockle · 05/03/2019 00:16

I was on zero hours and stuck living with my parents who I don't get on with as a result, so much prefer now.

OrangeJellySpread · 05/03/2019 00:29

I was jobless and depressed. Couldn't face an interview due to low self esteem. Now I'm a manager earning decent money. Looking back 5 years ago, I think of how much DH supported me through my depression, he never once told me to earn money and would come home to bring me flowers to cheer me up. I am thankful at how things turn out.

Tortycat · 05/03/2019 00:31

5 years ago i was pregnant with dc1. High risk pregnancy and scared I'd lose it so could never relax.

Now lying next to dc2 and so happy to have 2 gorgeous dc after a long wait. Some negatives - namely dm being diagnosed with Alzheimers which is killing me, and think lack of sleep has aged me massively, but counting my blessings at the moment

AornisHades · 05/03/2019 00:36

Much the same :) Dc are older. We have had trials including diagnosis of various on going health issues but we muddle through. Lots of mountains climbed but it could be much worse.

AornisHades · 05/03/2019 00:37

*The previous 5 years were awful. Really awful.

Nnnnnineteen · 05/03/2019 07:24

Was going through a separation from xh following his affair. 5 years down the line I'm relieved he's gone, but he still sends me awful messages. Financially totally buggered and now a bit nervous about never being able to retire being a renter. On the while I look forward not back but I look shocking, like properly aged.

Lottapianos · 05/03/2019 07:46

Great thread idea!

I was seriously depressed, in therapy, learning to separate emotionally from my narcissistic parents and longing for a baby of my own. I was beginning to truly hate my job and we had just moved house. There must have been some good stuff going on as well but that's what sticks in my memory!

Now I'm in a new role at work that I actually enjoy, much more accepting of my relationship with my parents and feeling very relieved that I never did have that baby. Life is much better and more contented now

happypotamus · 05/03/2019 07:52

I had a 2 year old and just about pregnant with DC2. I am still with DH. I am still doing much the same job but have been promoted within it. We still live in the same house. I haven't slept much in the past 5 years and my mental health is a bit precarious at times, but otherwise things are much the same.

meow1989 · 05/03/2019 07:58

My boyfriend and I were weeks away from completing on a house, we were renting off of a friend in the mean time which was not going well. I had yet to seek support for my anxiety. I was half way through a degree for work.

Now; the boyfriend is my DH, we've got a beautiful 8 month old DS, we're still in the house and planning to stay for the foreseeable future, I've changed jobs twice and I'm on medication for my anxiety. Life's generally pretty wonderful actually, with the one massive blow of losing my nan this year.

So sorry to those who are in a harder place than they were Flowers

NoraLuka · 05/03/2019 08:01

Gosh I was just thinking about how life has changed and then saw this thread!

5 years ago my Mum had just died fairly unexpectedly, I was a single Mum with 2 quite young DC, living in a shitty damp house and working full time with a 60 mile daily round trip. I remember not being able to summon up the energy to tidy the house and DD1 saying we should install a zipline to get from one side of the sitting room to the other without treading on anything. Blush

Now is better, I have DP, the DC are older and more independent, I get on with exH and we coparent quite amicably, and I work from home so although job is less stable it is more interesting and I don't have the commute which has changed my life for the better! Still get sad about Mum though. Sad

Flowers to everyone and here's to the next 5 years!

kaytee87 · 05/03/2019 08:02

In March 2014 my then bf (now DH) were renting a house together as a trial before buying/marriage/kids etc.

I was 26 and he was 28. We were both working full time and enjoying weekends out with friends.

In June that year we got engaged and started planning our wedding for the following year.

DoubleStrengthApple · 05/03/2019 08:07

My life was almost exactly the same (which is kind of depressing in a different way!) except that I had a 2yo and was about to become pregnant again. I'm still a SAHM, still live in the same house. I had more friends then and looked better. Having two kids has really exhausted me and left me without much spare energy, but I'm starting to get myself back a bit. And I always wanted more than one child, so I'm very grateful to have them both.

Bubba1234 · 05/03/2019 08:08

5 years ago
Depressed jobless friends disappeared family and I barely speaking
I wasn’t leaving the house
No one gave a crap
Sucicidal
Now:
Married own my own business live in a different area my parents sing my praise fit happy healthy run marathons over them friends the hurt is in the past
Life can change in fact it always does
It’s up to us whether things can improve or not.
Take risks
Try new things
Don’t sweat when some of the things don’t work
Trial and error
Run very far from the negative people
Stay in a positive mindset
Don’t show people that they hurt you
Keep achieving

NoArmaniNoPunani · 05/03/2019 08:09

I was newly married. I hadn't had DS yet. Now I'm widowed with a 3 year old

kaytee87 · 05/03/2019 08:10

@NoArmaniNoPunani Thanks

EvenLess · 05/03/2019 08:15

In March 2014 I was 24 and just starting a new job that I knew wasn't right for me after being bullied out of the previous one. My then boyfriend and now DH was working abroad for months at a time and I was back living with my parents. My mental health was quite poor, so it was a really tough time. I did get another job in 2015 that I really loved.

DH and I got married a few years ago, and lived abroad for a while to save money for a deposit. We're now back and I managed to get that job that I really enjoyed back. We're trying for a baby and hoping to buy a house this year. Health still not 100% but I'm so grateful that things are much better than 5 years ago.

GrumpyOldMare · 05/03/2019 08:16

Five years ago,I'd just kicked out the ex husband and pressed charges. Thanks to his drinking,I was in a lot of debt,had rent arrears and had not long left a job where I was getting a lot of grief from the boss,so money was extremely tight.But thanks to a friend I was able to get food and pay my bills - just.

Now,I have a job,my debts are clear,my rent arrears are finished.I even have a little ''spare'' money to treat myself each month (never had that whilst married as he drank any money we had left) And it's all down to me,my friend and a very helpful and lovely income officer for the Housing Association I rent from. If it wasn't for a much needed kick up the rear from her and my friend,I dread to think where I'd be now.

Life is now good. I'm not rich or well off but comfortable enough for me and my son.

Slowknitter · 05/03/2019 08:25

Pretty similar in terms of work and family situation except that the dc are older. The big difference is that we had a major house move - from SE England to NW (purely because we fancied it). No regrets there.

namechangedyetagain · 05/03/2019 08:56

If I had known 5 years ago what the next 5 years held I would have ended it. The last 5 years have been hideous. You honestly couldn't make up what's happened Sad

DollyWilde · 05/03/2019 09:02

I was a year and a bit into dating a guy who would become DH. Career was crap, doing admin and hated it. Was 75% of the way through a course that with hindsight was a waste of time and money. A lot of the debt I have now was incurred around that time. Was probably around the time I started putting on the 2 stone I’m now permanently truing to shift! I was having a lot of fun though, 24 and hopeful. Since then I’ve made some excellent choices (marrying DH, getting into my career) and some more questionable ones (buying our flat and the aforementioned debt and weight!) All in all though it’s a generally upward trend; I’m far happier and more settled these days and dont feel that I have many regrets. Now about to turn 30 and have enjoyed my 20s, but excited for what’s next.