Your life 5 years ago?

[YogaWannabe]

I found an old phone from 5 years ago and it has knocked me down how much my life has changed since then.
Ex was cheating at the time but I was unaware, our photos are full of days out and family holidays of me, him and DD.
I’m so much happier and carefree in all the photos, I’ve aged a good 15 years and gained a shit load of weight.
My cv looks as if it has gone totally backwards since then too and have taken massive pay cuts as I now have to work around DD on my own.
My dad is older and I worry about his health.
I have less friends and definitely less laughs than I did then.
Much more stress/depression.

It has really depressed the life out of me tbh!

What was your life like 5 years ago?

I was still living abroad. I'd been off the booze for 6 months, and starting to recover from the hell that was 2012-13 (death of partner, 'lost year' of drinking/drugs/bad decisions), generally rebuilding my life and career, but still a bit lost.

Five years on I'm back in my home city where I bought a flat. Studying post-grad, and been with an amazing new DP for nearly a year.

Feel extremely lucky actually.

My kids were 6 and 8, I didn’t work as much as now. Dd was very mature and champing at the bit to have i ndependence and attack life. She is much happier now that she does different activities five nights a week and one day at the weekend. We hardly see her. It suits her and she thrives on it, so she’s easy to parent.
My son is now in year 7 and seems to be having hormone rushes, it’s LOUD being around him at times. I kind of miss his sweet 6 year old ways.
So swings and roundabouts.

I was externally depressed. I was working in a pub and a shop at the same time (upwards of 60 hours a week plus travel.) I had health issues but I didn't know yet.
Now I have a DD, partner, a lovely home and job and am happier than I've ever been.

If things have gone bad for you in five years op, remember they can get much better in another five hope everything gets better.

I was 3 months pregnant with (unplanned) DS1, unsure about my fairly new relationship with his father and internally totally horrified that I’d got pregnant without being married. But also resisiting immense pressure from my family to get married anyway before the baby arrived. I was also a term and a half into medical school, commuting an hour and a half each way, throwing up ten times a day and convinced I wouldn’t last the year never mind the whole course.

Now we are happily married, also have a lovely DS2 and I found out a few weeks ago that I passed my finals and will be starting as a trainee doctor in the summer.

It’s def not all been rosy - I’m three stone heavier and feel and look totally knackered and have a very limited social life. DS1 has had a few issues like the fact he basically doesn’t sleep, ever and is now in the process of being assessed for ASD, DH and I have both been diagnosed with mental and physical health conditions and are now pretty much held together by pills - but we have so much to be thankful for as well, and I feel so grateful it’s turned out ok as could easily have been different.

for all who feel thingshave got worse. You’re surely due an upswing in the next five years!

Erm - I genuinely think mine was exactly the same as it is now. Same job, same house, same DP.

Is that bad?!

5 years ago I was still with ex, things weren't great as he didn't pull his weight. DD was 4. But I thought our future was together and was blindsided 18 months later when he left the house and texted several hours later that he'd left me. A bit like TheFormidableMrsC I'd had a long marriage and a late baby. I too look at photos of my life then and wonder if he was already with OW whilst I was oblivious. Fast forward to now I'm in the same flat, got a better job and doing OK. I've got a car of my own and driving without someone yelling at me is nice. I'm lonely at times and worry about retirement. Medieval people believed in the wheel of fortune, that our lives moved from down at the bottom to the top. I went to the bottom but the wheel is turning again.

I was in my first year of university, only 18. I had undiagnosed ASD at the time (it got diagnosed four months after I graduated in 2017). I didn’t have many friends, and I didn’t do much socialising or going out. Still quite similar now.
I’ve struggled with low self-confidence for a long while and started therapy at the beginning of this February. It’s still fairly early days right now, it’ll be more interesting to see where I am in five years. I’ll be 28 nearly 29 then.

Thanks everyone for sharing all your happy and sad five year changes!

I’ve made a couple of positive changes after reading all your replies so hopefully I can lol forward to a positive five year review in 2024!

to all of you that life hasn’t been kind to, I hope things improve!

Unhappy in an EA marriage. Financial abuse too
Now happily remarried, own my house, moved 300 miles away, retired early, having a great time!.

5 years ago we had been living in Australia for 6 months. I left a 16 year career and all my family and friends to become a cleaner and truck driver and I remember thinking wtf have I done. Today I have a great job that I love, we own a few properties including a tree farm and we fly back to the UK soon to see those friends and family that we miss. I tell myself how lucky we are every single day

5 years ago I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a bedsit with not a penny in a terrible place.
Now I own my own home, have a lovely DH and DS and have a well paid job, how times can change, when I look back on where I've came from 5 years ago I'm amazed I am where I am today.

Exactly 5 years ago DS was 9 months old. We had just moved back near my family for exh's new job. I was a SAHM. Very unhappily married but wanted to work through it for our baby's sake. But I was happy to be back near my family after living away for years.

We separated in April 2014 much to my relief. Now co parenting and I am happily single. DS will be 6 in June.

I was living with boyfriend in damp rented accommodation as we'd sold our house and were looking for somewhere to buy. Life was constant house viewings. I had health problems and was constantly seeing doctors looking for answers. Was worried I wouldn't be able to have children.

Boyfriend is now husband, we bought a house, we have 17mo DD and I'm now a SAHM. Health problems got much worse but then better and are now manageable. Hair is much greyer and more bags under the eyes thanks to DD's aversion to sleep.

I was quite a youthful 62 looking forward to my wedding
Now I feel an old 67
Mums died and miss her terribly
My health not so good
I’m happily married though
So there are compensations

I had just separated from my husband which was a fantastic feeling . I had recently lost seven stone so felt fantastic about myself, had also just started my teaching job. Felt pretty good about life actually. Marriage was a disaster, exh had no ambition or drive and was like a ball and chain so I felt like the weight of the world had lifted from my shoulders.

I haven't read TFT yet but mine is much better than five years ago. I would look at the fact that you have an opportunity to make the next 5 years different!

Five years ago:

• Single
• In a psychiatric hospital for the second time in 18 months with bipolar disorder, suicidal
• Renting a tiny terrace in a 'just okay' area
• Hated the company I worked for, couldn't imagine ever enjoying my job again

Now:

• Happily married
• Haven't been suicidal since and no more hospital stays, bipolar under much better control
• Bought a lovely 4 bed detached house in a beautiful semi-rural village
• Enjoying work
• Thinking about starting TTC

Oh...I have got fat though!

Binge eating disorder related to my bipolar means I've gone up from a size 16 to a size 22/24.

5 years ago I'd just met my DP but was basically spending my life either in work or in the pub coasting through life without a care in the world. I had no idea how the real world worked because I had no responsibility (except paying board at home and my phone bill but even that was paid for by my dad and I just gave him the money when I had it - both were a pittance compared to what I earned in a month so I didn't care about giving it away). At the time of meeting my now DP I'd just given up all my friends, I couldn't stand to be around them and their dramas so changed my local which is where I met him.

If I hadn't have done that, I'd still be coasting, living with my parents, working a job I hate and hanging out with people who make me miserable. I wouldn't have my own home, a wedding to plan or my DS and DSC. So I think it worked out well (I also wouldn't have to deal with bills but that's a small price to pay for happiness imo).

5 years ago I was in NICU with DD1 who was 6 weeks old. My husband at the time was very supportive and we were looking forward to taking DD home.

Since then, DD came home 3 weeks later and I started suffering with PND and PTSD. We bought a house the following year. Second DD was born the year after that, also premature. PND and PTSD resurfaced, this time with suicidal thoughts. ExH cheated on me while this was all going on. I almost had a breakdown and had to move in with my parents with the DC. As of a year ago, I'm in my own home with the DC, I have a lovely partner and I'm seeing a counsellor. My life is unrecognisable from what it was 5 years ago. I'm not the same person. I still struggle, but my future looks brighter than it did.

5 years ago, I was told it was very very unlikely/impossible to conceive. Now I have 2 DDS! I think they got that wrong!!

we were saving to buy our first house, fighting dps ex over his house, child visitation and god knows what else. Times were hard mostly. My job was okay though.

Fast forward to now, dps ex is still a colossal twat. Dss moved in with us, then v recently back in with his mother. Had DS in 2016. Moved house last nov.

Times are mostly better!

@wheresmymojo

I was living with STBX, undiagnosed with my main MH condition, mired in anorexia while he went out drinking. So much puking, exercising, self harming in that flat. My abusive father was constantly turning up, sending texts, phoning me and I didn't understand why I felt so shit after every one, I was still dissociating all of those memories. I was a few months off conceiving DD, thinking I couldn't have kids. There are so many lost days due to the undiagnosed DID, I can't honestly say much of what my life was like other than shit, and the mental hospital I had to stay in before moving out should have done better. I spent all my money over those 2 years as I couldn't hold down a job but had to contribute to bills.

Now, I am separating from STBX who at least is less violent, DD is an absolute dream, I don't see my awful family any more and I understand why I had all of those issues. I'm graduating therapy in a few months, starting uni in 6 months, and I'm completely stable- eating well, not self harming, no longer losing time. Can't wait to see what will happen in the next 5 years!

5 years ago I had just seperate from ExH and was just about to get sucked into a shitstorm of a relationship that only just ended.

I want to scream at myself to stay single and take notice of the Red Flags.

Some very good advice i have is....leave the first time he lies

I now have two DC aged 3.5 and 11 months!

Life is happier, but much busier and also more boring. And I get a lot less sleep!

I now work part-time, but work is actually going much better than it was 5 years ago, when I knew I wanted to leave my current employers but didn't know where to go to. I'm earning less, but I'm in a better position with better prospects when I'm able to go back to working full-time.

Still in same house doing same sort of work with same DH.