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Original poster

Emetophobe in meltdown

32 replies

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 01:10

DS12 had just been sick for the 3rd time. DH is on a night shift so MIL has come round as luckily for me she understands this bloody phobia.
I feel like I am about 3 seconds away from a panic attack which won't help anyone. Why can't I be normal and go and sit with my son like any other mother would. He is amazing and I am so proud of the way he is coping but I feel like a really shit parent.
It is DDs 4th bday tomorrow and all plans are going to have to change. I am also sat here working out who will catch it next and how long we may have before that happens.
Sorry for going on but I am struggling as you can probably tell.

OP posts:

AlfieTheRailwayCat · 04/03/2019 01:15

Deep breaths.
It’s awful, I know. Your MIL sounds brilliant. What would help you feel calmer, I like to sit by an open window and take some deep breaths for a minute. Then all you can do is practice good hygiene and cleaning.

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 01:22

Thank you so much for replying. She is great. I like the fan next to me keeping me cool and for some repetitive noise. I am going to get it now. Thank you. X

OP posts:

Magenta82 · 04/03/2019 01:25

Really sorry you are dealing with this and am glad you have someone with you for support.

Longer term I would recommend having a look at the Thrive Programme. It is by Rob Kelly and did wonders for me on a different issue, but there is a programme specifically aimed at fixing emetophobia.

You can either work through the self help book yourself or go to a Thrive counsellor.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 04/03/2019 01:25

I can't stand it either and I don't have a MIL who'd help out. Rubber gloves and plenty of anti-bacterial spray are my best friends in this situation. I can cope with clean up as long as I don't witness them puking - I literally hand over a bucket and run out of the room! What a loving mother

It's grim, but tell yourself that you can do this and get those gloves out. My DS had a virus recently and then I caught it - you manage somehow!

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 01:36

I am so glad to hear my son's aren't the only ones handed a bucket and left to get on with it.
I will definitely look in to the counselling. Thank you. I had cbt years ago when the nhs could still offer it and believe it or not I am much better than I was but it has slipped over time and I am struggling tonight.
You don't know how grateful I am for your replies.

OP posts:

AlfieTheRailwayCat · 04/03/2019 01:40

That’s ok, up with the baby. It’s a very isolating feeling, I hate it when people say “oh but you’ll feel differently when it’s your kid” I really don’t!!
Hope the fan is helping you gain a measure of calm back. Just take it a few minutes at a time, try not to let your brain fun too far ahead.

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 01:54

I know they mean well but those comments but it makes you feel like an even worse parent when it isn't any different when they are your own children.

OP posts:

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 02:30

Now DD is being sick. It's her bday today. I can't do this. Now I definitely know it's a bug which means we are all going to get it.

OP posts:

RamblinRosie · 04/03/2019 02:53

Can you find a scarf to tie round your mouth and nose, possibly with some scent on it?
I read somewhere that the smell of vomit often triggers a vomit reflex, it’s a survival instinct, if someone in a group throws up it may indicate that the group has eaten something poisonous.

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 03:01

I was wishing I had a mask of some sort but more forget avoidance. It's a great idea to mask the smell though too.
I am just watching DD like a hawk, waiting for the next bout. X

OP posts:

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 04:03

DH has text from work to say that he feels sick now too. Is there someone that can hold my hand? Please.

OP posts:

starryeyedsnowgirl · 04/03/2019 04:28

I'm up feeding. Didn't want tk read and run. I haven't experienced this but used to be terrified of flying so I know what irrational fear feels like. It's awful.

Can you maybe do some practical things to make life easier like clear away any soft toys etc off their beds, have cleaning stuff ready. And maybe watch something on your phone to distract yourself- something like old episodes of friends that you only need to half pay attention to. Hope it improves

FrancesFryer · 04/03/2019 04:39

Are you sure it's a bug and not something they've eaten?

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 04:40

Thank you for replying. I am playing candy crush which is keeping my mind busy. My MIL has control of the tv which is only fair even if we are watching supermarket sweep reruns!!

OP posts:

UncomfortableSilence · 04/03/2019 05:43

I'm emetophobic to so completely understand how you are feeling.

Could it be something you have all eaten as it is not common for everyone to be ill so close together with a bug.

Cuch · 04/03/2019 05:51

I’m emetophobic too and this thread reads like my worst nightmare so I truly understand how you must be feeling. What a long, horrible night for you.

How is everybody now? I agree that it sounds more like they’ve all eaten something that has made them sick rather than a bug because usually with a bug one person pukes then someone else comes down with it 24-48 hours later after being exposed to it. So unless all three of them were somewhere that they could all have been exposed to norovirus or similar around 36 hours ago, it’s more likely to be food related. What were you all doing on Saturday? We’re they all in the same place at the same time out and about?

I really hope everything has settled and you’re getting a little sleep.

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 06:54

Thank you so much for your replies. They have really helped on an incredibly long night. I have dozed on and off for a couple of hours.
DD had her party at soft play at 3pm Sat so we were all there and we all had mcds about 4.30pm yest but all ate different meals.

OP posts:

AlfieTheRailwayCat · 04/03/2019 07:03

I hope that they are all doing ok now? At least now it’s morning, I find it’s harder in the depths of night time. Can you get washing on, windows open for fresh air wtc. How do you feel?

INeedNewShoes · 04/03/2019 07:50

At least the two kids will get it out of the way at the same time so that you're not spending the next few days paranoid about when DD would start.

I hope you've escaped it but, if you haven't, you will cope. It'll be awful but you'll get through it and then you can bask in the knowledge that you've all gained some immunity to the bug if that's what it is.

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 11:55

Thank you all again. You are right it feels so much worse during the night.
DS has a twin who I am fretting over now and selfishly I am petrified of getting it myself.
I feel so sad for DD who is laid looking at all her presents that we had put out last night. Some birthday!!

OP posts:

Cuch · 04/03/2019 13:25

Ah, it sounds like a classic case of picking up a bug at a soft play place then (I can’t beat them for this reason). If they didn’t wash their hands before eating the McDonalds and had all touched an area where someone had previously vomited then that will have done it.

hazandduck · 04/03/2019 13:32

Ah OP I feel for you :( It is terrifying.

Totally agree with PP so many people said I’d feel differently with my own child but I haven’t yet! And I desperately don’t want to pass it on to her so am trying to train myself to be cool and laidback about this stuff which is not who I am!

I like to write down phrases “Everything will be alright,” “you’ve got this,” etc. Like a mantra, repeated, it sounds mental but it just keeps my brain busy and I think the sentiment eventually seeps in to my brain!

You are not a bad parent at all, you just have a horrible, crippling phobia that many people do not understand. X

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 14:28

The annoying thing is I very rarely tale her to soft play for this reason but having just started pre school she wanted her party where everyone else does. Never again.

OP posts:

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 04/03/2019 14:31

Oh my God - you have my total sympathy. I am the same. I am so scared of vomit. The other week DP said he thought he hadn't heated his dinner up enough and I had to go to the loo and have a private full on panic attack because I thought he was going to get ill. No advice, but I feel for you.

Original poster

dunkinhobnobs · 04/03/2019 17:32

Such a horrible phobia and so many of us that suffer with it.

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