Am I making a rod for my own back by co sleeping with newborn?

[Worththewait2019]

My baby is 6 weeks old and ever since birth he's slept in my bed (DH in the spare room).

He wouldn't settle in the crib side bed or Moses basket and he feeds every 1-2 hours so was easier to co sleep.

Now I'm wondering when I should attempt to move him to his own crib in case he gets too used to sleeping in my bed? I'll be honest I love him in my bed but my DH won't put up with it forever!!

Not at this age. If this is still a thing around 12 months then, yes it could contribute.

Sounds like the baby isn't the issue, the H might be!

Hmmm, I think that yes, you should, eventually. But as to when you try, that's really up to you. Eventually they will need to learn to sleep on their own, but 6 weeks is so tiny! DS slept on my chest half the night that that age and the rest in the crib right by my bed. He's a great sleeper and has been since around 3 months but it definitely didn't happen straight away or overnight!
Have you looked at the next to me cribs? I hear they are almost as good as cosleeping?

We are six months bed sharing and DH still in the spare room 🙈 way longer than I thought or planned or did with my eldest but she is slowly starting to sleep longer stretches in the co-sleeper cot so I have high hopes that DH can return soon and eventually she will go in a cot! Not sure if that's reassuring for you or not!

Every child is different, there's sadly no one right way. I co slept with mine until he was around 5months. Second attempt at sleep training worked. In the mornings he would join for an hour or so. Then from around 8months he sleeps through completely in his own room. Also only naps in car and cot.

It didn't cause any problems for us. Coslept until daughter was 11-12 months when she started to sleep through more reliably and had dropped her night feeds (bf). From 6 months we always put her down to sleep in her cot at the end of our bed and she came into bed when she woke for her first feed after we'd come up to bed- so after 11pm. Then at 12 months we moved the cot into her room and she transitioned no problems at all. She's 2 now and has been sleeping really well in her own room for a year! Just do what you need to do to maximise sleep at that age!!

The 'rod for your own back' thing is the biggest myth of parenthood, I've found. Yes, your baby will get used to being in your bed, will love being there, will sleep much more soundly beside you and will probably resist attempts to make him sleep alone. That's because sleeping with their mother is the biological norm for all mammals, and has been for as long as they've existed. You are not doing anything wrong, you're just responding instinctively to your baby's needs. Good for you.

When baby is a bit bigger, I'd suggest a cot sidecarred to your side of the bed, and then you can let DH back in

What Cel982 said absolutely

My third child co slept with me for nearly 6 months. She's now 2 and a half and happily in her own bed. Each child is different but definitely no rods here! If it means a decent nights sleep for all then go for it!

4th tri is a real thing. Babies are designed to be close - they still think they are inside you this early on. Do whatever you need to get some rest, co-sleeping isn't for everyone or every baby but if it's working for you then go with it. Try to focus on your own needs too, so if it's too much touching and you need space then by all means put them down to sleep separately, but if you're happy then don't worry about 'rods' or what anyone judgy says, go with your gut feeling and enjoy your squishy newborn time.

Come back in 5 years when you can’t get your child/children to ever sleep in their own beds (even though you really, really want them to).

I think you can do as you like for at least the first three months. Babies' wants are the same as their needs iykwim for at least that long. Then from three months I would personally just try to start putting them into bed drowsy but awake and sitting beside them.

Coslept with both of mine. One until 17mo and one until 12mo. Both of them (now 2 and 3) love their single beds and transition really wasn't a big deal.

The cot was the biggest waste of money for us!

I would say if it works for you then do it. DH will survive. I think what we did with DC 2 was the best compromise as at 12mo we moved him into his own room on a double mattress on the floor. I still lay with him and fed him to sleep and for any wake ups but I could escape as soon as he was asleep.

Cosleeping does not mean you won't ever get them out of your bed.

Nah, there isn’t such a thing as a baby too used to feeling secure. If it’s easier for you whilst he’s feeding through the night, there’s no reason to change unless you want to. Mine all co-slept until they were 2-ish then went in their own rooms with no issues, it was the way everyone got the most amount of sleep.

Yes.

Not at all.

Get a next to me or similar side sleeper. I found I was able to sleep right at the edge of the mattress and put my arm into it nicely. DH was thus permitted in the room except for snoring!

I had the cot next to my bed. Easy to scoop baby up to feed and neither of mine had sleep problems and they never slept in our bed.
Friends I know who were into attachment parenting have the greatest difficulty keeping their children in their own beds now they can walk.
Sleeping apart from your husband is asking for a relationship breakdown.

No, you will get so much more sleep if you don't have to get up to feed them. And those cuddles will never be repeated. It is the best thing for you and it will get you through all the growth spurts.

What Cel982 said. Sidecarred cot. Cosleeping is ace.

Sleeping apart from your husband is asking for a relationship breakdown.

This is utter nonsense.

@Cel982 speaks sense
I coslept with both our children , and DH slept there too
DH , then me , then baby ,then edge of bed
The mother instinct took over completely, and the baby was cradled in my arms safely ( they’re in there 20s now , and went into there own beds before too long )
We all survived 😀

I started co napping with my ds when he was about 3 months old. Hes now 8 months and still naps in bed with me during the day because it's a reliable way to get him to sleep. Hes in his own room at night but if he wakes a lot over night he comes in with me in the guest room.

I love cosleeping with him, its snuggly and delicious and wonderful. Yes I might have issues getting him in his own bed all the time when hes older but he can do a full night on his own and settles down in his own cot at bed time. Hes unlikely to be 15 and still wanting to cosleep and they are only little for a short time just make sure to look at the lullaby trust guidance on safer cosleeping.

In a word, no. Google 4th trimester.

DS2 is sleeping next to me right now he's nearly 3. They're only little for a short while.

No no no. Snuggle and cuddle your precious little treasure. Savour every moment to sniff that little new born head and to let your heartbeats bump together.

I know I probably sound like a loon but honestly..cuddles and snuggles. Babies that age are far too little to be spoiled. All they want or need is mummy, milk and sleep

Do whatever you need to do to get as much sleep as you can.