Am I making a rod for my own back by co sleeping with newborn?

[Worththewait2019]

My baby is 6 weeks old and ever since birth he's slept in my bed (DH in the spare room).

He wouldn't settle in the crib side bed or Moses basket and he feeds every 1-2 hours so was easier to co sleep.

Now I'm wondering when I should attempt to move him to his own crib in case he gets too used to sleeping in my bed? I'll be honest I love him in my bed but my DH won't put up with it forever!!

Sidecar cot was never close enough for my son. Somehow he knew and needed to be on the same sleep surface right from the beginning. Now he is 9mo and we don’t cosleep all the time so it will change, though perhaps not at the pace your husband wants. I would prioritise what the baby needs and what gets most people the most sleep

Wouldn't worry at 6 weeks. There are serious growth spurts happening and it's normal for a BF baby to wake for night feeds until 6 months at the minimum. I would say between 6-12 months you can try to have him nap and maybe start the night independently and see how it goes.

I have a friend who coslept in the early days because it was the only way she got any sleep, but now she has a 3 year old and 1 year old in her bed every night. She is not happy about it. Basically she never took the chance to try and transition them out and so now they're completely used to it. If you're happy with that then fine - but if you're not then it becomes quite annoying.

I didn’t think you were supposed to co sleep, I remember my midwife telling me not to as it can cause sudden infant death or aka cot death for this reason I didn’t but maybe it’s changed again mine is only 17 months but I would have loved her in my bed. Hope I didn’t miss out because of a myth. Has anyone else been told not to put baby in your bed?

Nope - bed sharing is fantastic for our family & it may be for yours too.
Why can’t you make the side of bed safe then sleep baby, you, DH?

Cornish there are risks but there are ways to minimise them, though this advice may not have been readily available until more recently. Many HCPs will advise against completely because that is usually their policy but I think that is misguided as I believe it increases the risk of unplanned and unsafe cosleeping.

cornish there is lots of info about safe cosleeping online, you don't have to listen to HVs, they don't often have up to date info:

www.basisonline.org.uk

Sleep with your baby. It's the best thing ever! I still nip into my kids beds (6 & 8) but co sleeping was so wonderful and definitely strengthened the bond for me.

Ah. Dgd (7 and co-sleeping) recently asked when her mother stopped sleeping in my bed. Sh

Sh? Sorry, on my phone again.

She was pleased to hear that though her mother had her own bed at 5, she still co-slept when she came home from university at 18 or 19.

OP, get a bigger bed.

I wish we could remove the phrase "make a rod for your own back" when it comes to parenting babies. There is no such thing. Babies like to be close to their mothers and that's completely normal. As long as you co-sleep safely, there's nothing more to worry about. Personally I think I would have slept much less if I hadn't co-sleep because I would have been constantly listening out. I loved having my babies close and being able to respond to their needs quickly and with minimal fuss.

I only have anecdotal evidence but all three of my children were happy to go into their own beds at various stages. We bed-shared for quite some time with each which wouldn't be ideal for all but it worked for us.

The youngest (4) loves going to bed in his own room but he still comes in with us at some point in the night (I say at some point because I'm mostly unaware of him coming in - I often don't notice until morning!).

The basic message is: attending to your child's needs does not create a rod for your own back. Babies can't be 'spoilt' and they don't 'need to learn'.

Enjoy every moment. No rods for your back. Babies aren't little manipulators. They just want to be with you.
My dc3 is 10months now and he spends first half of night in his cot no problem now. Comes in to me around 4am. I love it.

I stopped co-sleeping with my baby at 14 months. He’s 7 now and aside from the very occasional sleeping with me when he’s not well, he never gets in my bed. It’s honestly fine.

It may be a rod but by golly I loved that rod!
Cuddle that rod, sniff that rod, love that rod.
A friend of mine had a massive bed made to accommodate her, DH and 2 DC.
They eventually all moved on except her and DH.
If they are teenagers and still in it may be an issue.
Enjoy the sleep!

I coslept with both of mine (and dh!) and they're both perfectly happy in their own beds now. When dh works away my youngest does sometimes want to hop in with me, though he says he does this as he's worried I'll get lonely