Would you leave the kids with grandparents in these circumstances?

[feesh]

I’m an expat living a long way away. I’m scheduled to have major surgery in early December and it will have to be in Paris. I will need my husband with me for support because it’s pretty rough surgery and the recovery is very challenging.

It will be 5 days in hospital and then I will need to spend another 5-7 days in Paris so my surgeon can keep an eye on me and so that I’ll be safe to go to England on the Eurostar (where I will stay with family). I’ll be very dependent on support, both physically and emotionally for the first 2 weeks after surgery. I won’t be allowrd to fly home until after NYE.

The question is, what shall I do with the 3 kids? Their ages will be 7, 7 and 2.5

Should they come to Paris with us, which will make it harder for my husband to be there for me and they might be a bit traumatised if they see me? Also it will be quite expensive to find somewhere for all of us to stay.

The other option is to leave them either wholly with one set of grandparents or split them up between the grandparents. My in-laws would be preferable, as they are more patient than my Mum and have a bigger house, although we only see them twice a year whereas we see my Mum about 6 times a year.

I need to book the accommodation and transport soon so it’s not too expensive, so I need to work out what to do.

I was planning on leaving them in England with the GPs, but now I’ve read the child-free wedding thread I’m not so sure it would be fair to leave the youngest for that long. They are very draining, being three of them, which is bad for me (recovering from surgery) but also a lot to ask of the grandparents! Also I don’t think any of the GPs have big enough cars to lug them around (although we could rent them one).

What would you do?

Oh! I realised that you don’t live in UK, sorry.
I would leave 2.5 years old for this length of time. It’s very different situation from going to a child free wedding, it’s health related. The only thing I wonder about that children need to have as less changes as possible. So the question is where they will feel sort of more familiar in Paris or in UK ? The same goes to grandparents. They might struggle to look after them on Paris and feel more comfortable in their own place. I would take as much children’s things as possible like soft toys and beddings to make space “the same”. Or you could buy something for their rooms now and GPs could buy the same in UK so they will have familiar things around. ( if it’s possible) . I also will look into possibility having a carer for you in Paris in advance in case your DH will need to come back to UK for a short visit.
It will be quite a long period of time for grandparents so they might want to separate kids. I would go with this if it will work better for GPs and leave both twins with your In- Laws. You need to be practical and realistic.