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Original poster

Can I leave my newborn for like 2 minutes?

62 replies

Crazynewmum · 03/03/2019 06:46

DD is 3 days old today and I’m wondering if I’ve been stupid. I feel really guilty.

Me and DH are doing split shifts to look after DD. I’ve just gone into the kitchen to put a pie in for breakfast. She was in the room next to me asleep in her Moses basket. Our house is tiny so I’d hear even the smallest whimper so I literally just ran in to get the pie in/out.

Last night when DH was asleep and DD was in her Moses basket I also quickly ran upstairs to the loo to go for the worlds quickest wee as I didn’t want to wake DH either.

She’s been in her Moses basket, there’s nothing she can get tangled on and there’s no hazards in the room.

Is this ok or have I been irresponsible? I feel really guilty but I don’t know what other people do?

OP posts:

MakeItAmazing · 03/03/2019 07:19

Easy for your dh to never leave the babies side if you're there to do everything.

You are doing fine. Make sure you're not doing it all.

SaturdayNext · 03/03/2019 07:20

I was just getting worried as I know it’s something DH wouldn’t do

I bet he would.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/03/2019 07:21

Bless! Congratulations. Of course you can leave the room to wee or shower. Ideally you are as close as possible and I never left dd alone for long periods. I had a quick shower while she was asleep in her Moses basket for example. She was in the bedroom a few steps away. If you shower immediately your baby goes to sleep I would think your dd wouldn’t yet be in a deep enough sleep to be left alone briefly.

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StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2019 07:23

In fairness he might not now but hell soon learn. We all do pfb things. I thought the water for their bath had to be cooked boiled water. DH was panicked he'd given baby ds brain damage because he slightly dropped his head onto the mattress when putting him down (about one cm of unsupported 'drop') - ds didn't actually wake up.
I love these things :)

Jenala · 03/03/2019 07:26

Totally fine as pp have said.

I remember being exactly the same with my first. We had a tiny house and the first few days on my own I carted him from room to room in his carry cot and felt terrible for popping upstairs for a wee.

My second is pretty much one with the wolves and can fend for himself

IShitGlitter · 03/03/2019 07:31

this made me smile you sound like a lovely mum. Yes it's fine to leave baby as long as your within earshot and baby is a safe place. Go enjoy your apple pie....hope you have a cup of tea too.

PS get a big family size apple pie you can graze on it all day

Feb2018mumma · 03/03/2019 07:34

It is completely fine, what helped me early on was the baby monitor, I would make dinner while baby slept and look at monitor just to keep myself comforted that baby was okay!

anniehm · 03/03/2019 07:44

Yes! At first you barely want to put them down but as long as they are in a safe place eg Moses basket you can get on with what you need to do. I had two close together and was on my own with them from 3 days old (thanks Dh!) I had to get on not watch my newborn (and she's my self assured self sufficient one now!)

Quartz2208 · 03/03/2019 07:56

It’s fine I assume you are split shifts when she is asleep as well there is no need at all as long as they are safe it’s fine

DinosApple · 03/03/2019 08:14

Yes you're ok OP.

I used to cart my first around with me everywhere. I felt I couldn't put her down. In the end I got a bouncy chair and put it in every room I was in.

Number 2 child got plonked in a sling so I was handfrees to chase the 1yo. I probably put her down somewhere occasionally, but second child syndrome has struck my memory .

Enjoy your pie, that sounds right up my street for breakfast.

kaytee87 · 03/03/2019 08:16

Totally fine.

Congratulations!

mrsk28 · 03/03/2019 08:19

Glad you posted this, I'm due first baby next month and I've been wondering the same thing!

Also genius to have apple pie for breakfast, I'm going to have one in the freezer ready to go for after the birth 😁

Happynow001 · 03/03/2019 08:26

Yummy - apple pie for breakfast. Now I'm craving it! Hope you have custard with it - purely for the health benefits obviously! 🥧

Her0utdoors · 03/03/2019 09:00

Oh no, I'm stuck under a sleeping toddler and I really want apple pie, you are a genius OP, I haven't had apple pie for breakfast for years! I understand why you are worried op, and as your baby gets wrigglier you might want to pop the moses basket on the floor ot just put them down on a blanket for safety. Keep up the good work!

formerbabe · 03/03/2019 09:14

Op...just think how many mums have a new born plus older children. Their older dc still need to be fed, washed, clothed, helped with homework etc. Of course it's fine.

Roomba · 03/03/2019 09:29

DH was panicked he'd given baby ds brain damage because he slightly dropped his head onto the mattress when putting him down (about one cm of unsupported 'drop') - ds didn't actually wake up

Oh god, I took DS1 to A&E at a couple of weeks old after ever so slightly bumping his head down onto the bed . The doctor grilled me about 'did he lose consciousness at all? 'how long did he cry for afterwards?' etc and I realised instantly I was being a PFB muppet when I confessed DS hadn't even woken up

OP - you're FINE to leave the room whether your baby is asleep or awake as long as they're in a safe place/position. Just don't go out shopping or something! How would you ever have a wee or a shower otherwise?

Equimum · 03/03/2019 09:30

I was like this when I first had DS1. I was absolutely terrified to leave him, and DH and I looked after him in shifts. It was exhausting and perpetuated my anxieties when he go a bit bigger and could move a little.

If he’s settled in the Moses basket, he will be fine in the next room for a few minutes. I used to pop DSs Moses basket just outside the bathroom while I washed, showered etc, so that I knew I could hear him. But for quicker things, like getting dressed, I got to a point where I would leave him for a few minutes. Similarly, when preparing food etc, I’s Leave him where he was sleeping, but regularly check in him.

Congratulations!

rightreckoner · 03/03/2019 09:34

Love cooled boiled water for the baby’s bath

SoyDora · 03/03/2019 09:35

I have a 7 week old, a 5 year old and a 3 year old. I have to leave the baby in a room sometimes while I cook their dinner, wipe toddlers bum, deal with some sort of spat in the playroom, fetch things from upstairs, use the toilet myself, get dressed... all sorts of reasons.

DragonMamma · 03/03/2019 09:39

Bless you.

It’s totally fine to leave them for a little while. When your DH goes back to work, how do you think you’ll get anything done otherwise?

10-15 minutes to have a shower and get dressed whilst they are sleeping, is fine!

x2boys · 03/03/2019 10:44

This brings it all back ,eh and I did shifts too, for about 2 weeks when ds1 was born he would only sleep on one of us

DiaryofWimpyMumm · 03/03/2019 10:55

I remember trying to fit ds1 Moses basket into the shower room when he was days old. We lived in a tiny flat so living room would have been fine. Congratulations op

Quintella · 03/03/2019 10:58

Apple pie for breakfast! Oh yes.

Rockbird · 03/03/2019 11:26

Congratulations OP. Three days....wistful sigh....

Hope you enjoyed the pie

Goawaybingbunny123 · 03/03/2019 14:22

Absolutely fine, OP.

I had mum friends who were dedicated to never being out of actual physical contact with their babies for a moment (not kidding, one of them procrastinated over going to the doctors to get a suspicious lump checked because it would mean taking her PFB out of the sling). I had other mum friends who were on their third baby and, whilst loving and devoted mothers, had to balance the newborn's needs against kamikaze toddlers and/or five year olds in the middle of an asthma attack or nosebleed.

Three years on, there's absolutely no discernable difference between our kids - they're all snotty, grumpy, loveable little blighters who bitch about preferring daddy/ grandma/ the dog/ that coloured stone they found out walking to mummy. As long as your child is loved and not neglected, you're not going to damage them or disadvantage them in life by looking after your needs too.

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