How do you “over” indulge your children?!

[Mmmmbrekkie]

I’ve just run a bath for my DS. Perfect temp, dimmed light, lit candle, bath pillow, glass of milk and book on the side.

He’s 8 years old.

He has football on a Friday and comes home exhausted and filthy. Straight in bath and then every Friday, pizza in front of a film, followed by bowl of popcorn for him and his sister whilst I scratch her legs (don’t ask).

What do you do that really is a bit over indulgent?!

@Mmmmbrekkie - phew! I might turn down the beds tonight, just to be certain!!

I pay for takeaways for my adult kids if I'm talking to them on the phone and they seem tired. And I send my daughter a jiffy bag with Take a Break type mags and big bars of chocolate when she's down.

And when my daughter's home we have a day when we go and buy "ladies' nice things" (from Angels by Marian Keyes.) Love those days.

What are V Bucks?!

I have a DS (6) with asd who only eats very specific things. So I spend a lot of time batch cooking the pasta sauces he likes, and I regularly bake him muffins, flapjacks, cakes etc for after school. I try to make fruity or lower sugar stuff for him so it’s not too bad for regular consumption (we rarely do sweets). He also loves berries and I spend far too much time and money topping up on them! And he also loves blueberry pancakes (as does DD and dh) so once a week I make them as an indulgent breakfast for everyone. Basically, a lot of my love is expressed through food and cooking effort! Also elaborate birthday cakes on a theme of ds’s choice - he can’t cope with parties and doesn’t care about toys so the cake is the highlight of his birthday... they take me days of planning and decorating.

My DD is only a toddler but I indulge her by reading the same bloody book 4 times in a row on a very regular basis

I also do little things like warming their towels on the radiator during their baths.

I look forward to spoiling them in different ways as they grow up. When I was little my mum would always write messages on my eggs in pencil before she boiled them, so I’d have little love messages on my dippy eggs. I’ll do that for DD when she can read. I also got little notes in my packed lunches from time to time.

My parents didn’t have a lot of money so ‘spoiling’ for us was about the little attentions and making effort for us - my mum knitting clothes for my dolls, for example. I treasure those memories and always felt very loved. I’d like my children to feel the same.

The occasional sweet here....left by ‘the fairys’...a little fairy ornament at my Nonna’s house (which DS always thanks!), or by the ‘potato fairy’ (a little doll my mum put in the cupboard she keeps the potatoes in) at my mums house. It’s nice to add a bit of magic to life :)

I don't really. If I ran my ds a bath with candles he'd be . My dc like a food-baaed treat or to be able to stay up late to watch a film etc, but they aren't at all interested in being pampered etc.

It's a matter of knowing what they like, though, isn't it? It's not a treat if it's not what you want.

@Howmanysleepstilchristmas nothing better than warm pants though!

Frigging hell, I’m going to stop reading this thread.

I still sometimes lie with my 10 year old DS until he falls asleep when he asks, he is a bit scared of being alone even although his brother sleeps in the same room and we sleep right next door 😂. I buy them a treat every time I go to the shops. Still basically do everything for them because they are still young.
My brother is 22 and still lives with my parents and my mum still takes him breakfast every morning and makes all his dinners. Think she stopped making my breakfast when I was about 10 😂

@Mumshappy I really enjoy doing it too, plus I get to try out all the make up and lotions and potions!

Does standing watching 2 football matches every weekend come rain or shine count??

Yes indeed it does! I do many things for my D.C., but didn't let DS2 join a football team because I couldn't face this.

I refused to watch the rugby matches in the rain but I still make my 17 year old a bacon sandwich most mornings.

My parents are in their late 80s and still provide treats for me, my mum will always give me the ‘free gifts’ when she buys her Clarins make up . And my Dad (89 this year) would never, ever let me pay for even a coffee if we go out together.

I leave them small surprises and tiny handwritten notes under their pillows from our household fairy. There is an ongoing storyline.

I also hid a number of surprises in our garden when dd1 was a baby for them to find years later - there's a tree with windows and a door on, a stone dragon in a nest, and a circle of stone goblins. You can find any of them without crawling about in the bushes.

My DD loves breakfast in bed!! (As do I) sometimes he brings us up trays with hot choc, poached eggs and toast, and a fruit salad for DD, and the same for me but with a coffee!! If she is being over indulged then so am I!! 😂 she’s 5!😂😂 also I will let her stay up “late” (like half 8) and watch a movie with popcorn.

ChristmasSeacow V Bucks are the currency used on Fortnite. You may be luck to have escaped this so far (fingers crossed for you!) but it's all about the V Bucks in this house 😣

And to the poster who asked abiut running the shower, I know all they have to do is get in and switch it on. However i have two ridiculously lazy boys so I'm happy to get the shower on and the bathroom warmed up to entice them out of bed on a morning 🙄

When the dds go to their dads I clean their room and change their beds then I lay out their pyjamas and then a row of little gifts on their beds like hair flips and lip balm little things. Every single time they come back because even when it's only a weekend because I miss them and I want them to know how much they matter to me.

I got this idea from another mner too! They absolutely love it.

DD is at uni. I send a card every week (butterflies, unicorns, rainbows, faeries). I enclose things like a bookmark, fairy token, angel dust, starbucks voucher, etc. When I visit she stays at my hotel and we watch tv in bed and drink hot chocolate. Lush treats.

Put sons towel on the radiator whilst he showers if he forgets it.

Saturday night we put the younger ones in bed and the eldest have movie/game with us. It's a bit of time based indulgence.

Weekends i make pancakes or nice breakfast treats. This week it's cheats jus-rol pains au chocolat which they love after sport. Little effort on my part but it's a lovely weekend indulgence.

Oh, and I buy Waitrose washing pods which the kids love the smell of, just for their bedding. Tbh I love the smell too. Sadly they don't tackle uniform very effectively so reserved for non stained items only 🤣

Put his clothes on the radiator when it's cold, and make sure there are his favourite snacks out so that they're the first things he sees when he gets home from school.

DH also picks the largest strawberries out of the jam for him, and we buy him too many presents. He deserves them though

Another one here feeling like an absolute shite mother!

DSS is here every second weekend. We always start out with pizza from the Italian at the end of the street eaten on the sofa in front of a David Attenborough show. I might even stretch to a nice dessert for after dinner on Saturday.

My 2 eldest at university. When they are home for the weekend I turn their bedroom radiators on. If I remember.

@MrsTerryPratcett
@InglouriousBasterd
@millythepink
@Youngandfree

That is so sweet! You have done a brilliant job with your children for them to turn out so caring and thoughtful. I remember stroking my sisters legs when she had growing pains at night and making brews for my mum when I got home from school. My mum would do small things like this for me so I was taught from a very young age that it's nice to be nice.

I have lots of lovely ideas from this thread. DS will be starting nursery soon so I'm excited to turn up with a snack each day and I am definitely going to steal the sweetie fairy 🧚🏼‍♀️

I don’t do this stuff. 7 and 2 would think me nuts and 2 would set something on fire if there was a candle around. I read to them. A LOT. Both are read to for over an hour each day. I indulge their interests and curiosities including when I have zero interest in it myself. I buy them lots and lots of books. 7 is very musical and I have become ‘orchestra mum’ and I help keep practice on track. I love massaging oil into the toddler after a bath but it’s not a calm relaxing activity- he’s talking, singing, etc. And I am not sure he perceives it as a treat!! I used to write DS7 a note in his lunchbox when he first started school but now he’s way too grown up for it. Mainly I do cuddles and kisses. They are not a treat or indulgence but I am a strict mum a lot of the time but I always do lots and lots of cuddles.