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Original poster

What age gap do you have between DCs? Would you change it if you could?

46 replies

WhatIsHerName · 27/02/2019 19:23

DC1 has just turned 1 and I’m going back to work next week. I always thought we’d try to have children close together to get the baby years out of the way but it goes so quickly and if we want a 2yr gap we need to start trying pretty soon.

Also feeling guilty over work, going back and then potentially getting pregnant again after they’ve made all the arrangements for my part time hours.

I’m curious to know what your experiences have been.

OP posts:
itbemay1 · 27/02/2019 19:39

4.5 years. In hindsight wish I'd had them closer together, at the time could have thought about it!

isseywithcats · 27/02/2019 19:41

the plan was a two year gap between DS1 and DD took me longer than i thought to conceive so there is a four year gap between them, then fell pregnant on the pill and three year gap between Dd and Ds2 made sure after that no more got sterilised, (this was 1982 and didnt have to fight as hard as nowadays) was a good range of age gaps as i had one above at playgroup when i had new baby, and at one point no 1 started senior school, no 2 started junior school and no 3 started infants school all on the same day

Bathbombs · 27/02/2019 19:43

2.10 years. They argue and wind each other up 90 percent of the time. Don’t know if it’s age, opposite sexes or just personality but if i had my time again I’d go with much smaller or much bigger

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PotolBabu · 27/02/2019 19:44

5 years between them. It’s been fine so far. Every age gap has its own challenges and I think sibling relationships depend as much on personalities as they do on age gaps.

OneToThree · 27/02/2019 19:46

Ds was 4 when dts came. Happy with age gap.
We did start trying when ds was 9 months old though incase it took a while (it did with IVF)
If I was you I’d probably try when dc1 was 18months ish then even if you fall straight away you’ll still have over a 2 year gap.

Meet0nTheledge · 27/02/2019 19:46

23 months, they are 13 and 15. No regrets at all, its worked out really well so far.

Birdsgottafly · 27/02/2019 19:47

10 year age gap, because of miscarriages and that worked out well.

My next two was just under two, which I didn't want but had to go with because of possible fertility issues. I wish it had been slightly larger, even by six months.

Justmuddlingalong · 27/02/2019 19:49

3 years 1 month between 1st and 2nd. 2 years 1 week between 2nd and 3rd. It was hard going at times. But I think the gaps were ideal for our family. I was a sahm from after having my 1st so work wasn't an issue. I wouldn't change it. Their relationship was a joy to see. Now...not so much. 🙄

Namechangemum100 · 27/02/2019 19:49

14 months...DD just turned 2 and ds is 10 month...it is fucking hard, but it's 2 under 2 so didn't really expect anything else.

It was the right decision for us, however it's definitely not for everyone!

Stylinit · 27/02/2019 19:50

20 months.

The first year of 2 I found very very hard. But it’s been absolutely brilliant since. They are interested in the same things, natural playmates for each other and the baby days are well and truly behind us.

The best thing is definitely the same activities etc being appropriate for both - I see friends with bigger age gaps struggling with finding stuff that interests all their dc.

But it is very hard to actually plan these things and really there are pros and cons to every age difference.

SheChoseDown · 27/02/2019 19:52

10 year gap. It's brilliant!
May have another in ten yrs. Older one can take himself to school, is a big help, gets on with things like homework. He enjoys his baby brother immensely!
It also meant I could work without paying too much out in childcare.
Obviously if you're starting a family later in life this isn't always possible, but I can really recommend a big gap.

bomanaise · 27/02/2019 19:56

20 months. They're 4 and 2 and a half now. First 18 months was an absolute blur and the hardest I've ever worked in my life. But like a pp said they're into the same things and great pals now so I'm glad I had them close. We decided on 2 kids but if I was having a 3rd I'd have had it already so they'd all be close together.

lizabel12 · 27/02/2019 19:56

17 months, they are now 5 and 6.
I think the hardest part was when I was heavily pregnant. They are so close now and I'm glad I had them close together.

Iseethesilverlining · 27/02/2019 19:58

2 years. Now DS16 and DD14. Best of friends, thoroughly recommend 2 yr gap! It meant holidays suited them both, we did toddler and baby groups etc.

Arowana · 27/02/2019 19:59

22 months between DC1 and DC2, 24 months between DC2 and DC3. I wouldn't change a thing - I like the fact that they're all close in age and into the same stuff. Not so important if you only want two though.

formerbabe · 27/02/2019 19:59

Exactly 2 and a half years.

I'd prefer a smaller age gap. It was ok when they were younger but my ds is off to secondary school in September and my dd seems really young in comparison. When they were much younger, they enjoyed the same things like playgrounds, farms and soft play...now my ds seems too old for things she still enjoys.

Chosennone · 27/02/2019 19:59

22 months.
Theyre now 13 and 11.
It was a great age gap. Same interests, soft play, Cbeebies, cinema, park. They grew yp together as the best of mates, on holoday and days out. Shared a room until they were 10 and 8.
Difficult at first having 2 under 2 (the double buggy was my maim bug bear, 2 in nappies not too bad) but so worth it.

trilbydoll · 27/02/2019 20:02

2 years. Works well, if anything I'd go slightly smaller if I had my time again. Honestly from a work perspective just get it over and done with. You can be back 6 months or 6 years, you'll still be described as pregnant AGAIN.

Yogagirl123 · 27/02/2019 20:02

21 months, really hard work to have a child under 2 and a newborn,but no regrets at all, they are 18 & 16 this year, and are very close.

HalfBloodPrincess · 27/02/2019 20:04

16 months between 1 and 2. 12.5 years between 2 and 3, and there’ll be just shy of 2 years between 3 and 4.

I like all the age gaps. 4 children but in two lots of two.

Figgygal · 27/02/2019 20:05

4 years 2 months
We took a bit longer to conceive Ds2 than planned but worked out perfectly I was on Mat leave for ds1 reception year

We had plenty of time to enjoy DS1 and see him grow, avoided two sets of childcare costs at the same time and now he's the most loving big brother. We are getting to stage though where they like different things but wouldn't change anything

cantthinkofannewname · 27/02/2019 20:05

2 years 5 months.
Decided by the DCs' birth mum but it's fine though I'd have chosen about 5 years.
The next of her DCs is less than a year younger and we were asked if we'd consider a thIrd. We said no.

OublietteBravo · 27/02/2019 20:06

19 months. It’s a fabulous age gap now they’re 13 and 14. But it was bloody hard when they were little, and two full time nursery places meant we were very poor for a few years.

Malibucyprus · 27/02/2019 20:09

2 years & 10 months between mine, 3 in school years. I’m happy with that gap, wouldn’t change it.

meladeso · 27/02/2019 20:10

3.5 years and it is perfect!
DC1 was a little independent when DC2 arrived, meaning less of the "two babies" stress. Made bedtime easier etc.
And DC1 adores sibling as was old enough to understand and be glad of the companionship.