Have you ever embarrassed yourself at work? If so how?

[smurfy2015]

I was working in an office/ reception job. The manager intended to let me know he planned a fire drill.

Cue the alarm going off, my voice over the intercom with the safety instructions so everyone was outside the perimeter of the premises all shivering our asses off when fire brigade came down the industrial estate heading for our unit.

The manager came over put his head on my shoulder and whispered - you called the emergency services, didn't you? Yes, he had forgotten to tell me it was a drill.

The emergency services asked where the fire was, glad to be told no damage or injuries.

Yes, I was only doing my job but felt embarrassed at wasting emergency services time.

The next drill I got a 10-minute warning so I didn't call them.

We have a weekly production meeting with all our staff.

Managers stand on the landing half way on a flight of stairs while the production staff gather round to the side of the stairs on the ground.

Half way through showing them a fancy new employee hub on the company iPad, it slipped through my fingers. Bent down quickly to try and grab it I smacked my face on the railing of the stairs. Smashed the iPad, gave myself a nosebleed, split my lip and had 2 lovely black eyes the next day.

Walked across the workshop one day wearing a long, flappy summer dress. I caught my dress on the staples of an empty cardboard box without noticing. Spent nearly an hour dragging this empty box around behind me - all the staff were chucking random stuff into the box to see if I noticed. I thought something felt a bit weird but was busy and just didn’t twig.

I once found two tumble dried socks inside my top at work. Pleased they werent knickers.

I poured a beer on a man's lap on a date with a girl when I was waitressing. I may have upped his game as he was very cool about it.

About three weeks into NQT, teaching year 7 about forces, air resistance etc. So I draw a rocket on the board, my drawing skills are not the best, year 7 start laughing, I look at my 'rocket' - it's a penis, I've drawn a penis on the board.

Member of SLT walks in at that exact moment and I tried to style it out but I was dying inside.

Not me but my ex BIl policeman they were on a drugs raid got the ram out for the front door took a run at the door and just as they were about to connect someone inside opened the door, cue policemen entering the building at one hell of a run

I used to have this habit of kicking off my shoes while I worked at my desk. Cue MD walking in with v. Important new client to introduce him to me, and me finding that one shoe had completely vanished. I had two choices, stand up wearing no shoes and hope they didn't notice or dive under the desk to retrieve lost shoe. I chose second option and MDs face was priceless as new client stood there with hand outstretched and I leapt off my chair and threw myself under my desk.

When I worked as a bar maid, "can I have a pint and a half of Peroni please?" "Sorry sir I don't have a glass big enough."

Same job, "chef, there's a lady in the bar who wants a glass of prosciutto, who the hell wants meat in a glass? What shall I charge her?" Cue LOTS of laughter from the whole kitchen team and me trying to explain to the lady who was waiting in the bar why I looked confused and ran off to the kitchen. To be fair Prosecco had only just arrived in the UK and I'd never heard of it

I have loads more, I'm just generally a bit daft

I was once stood in the office chatting to colleagues vigorously shaking a brand new pot of tippex, somehow I managed to lose my grip and throw the pot on the floor with such force that it broke and splashed tippex all over me.

So there I am in my (beautiful) ruined suit, with tippex dripping off my eyelashes and nose and streaked through my hair. A moment of stunned silence and then we all shrieked with laughter (while trying to keep tippex from going in my eyes!) and laughed until I couldn't breathe and was doing that silent shaking thing.

Luckily I didn't wet myself but it was close (thanks pelvic floor muscles 😂)

Recently a work a colleague told me she was turning 50 soon (this is relevant). A few days later she proudly showed me a picture of a young girl that she had on her phone (maybe about 4-5 years old)?
Me: "Ahh, is that your grand-daughter"?
Her: "No, it's my daughter".
Awkward as fuck. I just assumed given that she was nearly 50 that it would be her grand-child. Mental note not to assume in future!

One of the more senior members of staff I used to work in an office with had the surname Chew. It was a small company so everyone knew each other well.

One Friday evening I was saying bye to him as I left the office, and accidentally said 'bye Chew Chew' instead of Mr Chew or his first name.

Another colleague who was giving me a lift home was also there and it was just mortifying and horrific all in one. The person with name Chew was not happy at all, and I felt awful in the car on the way home, and all weekend.

I am top class at saying the worst possible thing in social situations by accident, but it is so bad when people are offended by what I've said because of my mouth running away with itself.

Luckily I didn't end up staying there too much longer as I became ill and then I changed my career!

I worked in customer service and would spend sometimes hours sitting at a desk with no customers. Very occasionally I used this opportunity to have a cheeky scroll on facebook (which were probably not meant to do)

Little did I know an elderly couple were approaching my desk but I only noticed too late and quickly turned off my phone in a panic. But i accidentally clicked on a very very inappropriate video and was now locked out my phone while with was blaring all over the room.

I was mortified.

When Dh was 18 he got a job in a pub. A man asked for 40 Silk Cut. Dh replied, "Sorry, they only come in packs of 20."
He only realised what he had said when the man looked at him witheringly and told him to give him two packs.

A loooooong, long time ago. 1st year on grad scheme: hold meeting with relatively new boss. Leave meeting. Enter mirrored lift. Realise middle button had become undone and I'd been flashing very flashy but not very, erm, concealment-focuses red lace bra at new boss for an hour.

He never noticed. Or so I thought.

A few years down the line. Pub. Free drinks on me on the occasion of my own promotion to executive level. Former boss, now a friend, congratulates me on promotion and then comes out with "on a total side note:. Now that we're peers I finally get to tell you how mortified I was that one time when your boobs and I literally had a meeting for an hour and I really wanted to tell you but had no clue how without it coming across like a total creep".

I once wrote 'I'm hungry' right in the middle of a report. Didn't notice until later. Was obviously thinking out loud that day

When I was a student I worked in a pizza bar for a bit. Once I went to serve the first slice of pizza to someone, as was the norm, but the chef hadn't cut through the slices properly. I tried to work the section of pizza out, and it came suddenly. It went over my shoulder in a perfect arc and landing splat face down on the floor. This wasn't so bad, but it was incredibly funny so I roared with laughter. Then I noticed their shocked faces, which made me laugh so much that I was crying, proper ugly laughing. I didn't get to the top in that particular job...

A girl in my office was on diet pills and they tended to make her a bit windy. One morning she attempted a silent trump....and shat herself. She was mortified and not only did our office of 6 know but she had to walk, backwards, through an office of around 40 staff members on her way out of the building.

She had to go home, shower, change clothes and come back. I would have left the country.

I once tripped and fell awkwardly into the empty lift at work, windmilling my bag frantically for balance and exclaiming "ohshitfuckbollocks" under my breath as I did so.

It wasn't empty, the CEO of the very large international big 10 accountancy firm I worked for was tucked into the corner. He did not smile, and I never made Associate.

there is a thread in Classics .... it is my go-to when I have a bad day .

When I was in a trainee role and my boss asked me to call a client when he was out. I called the client and said “hi it’s Bumder, I’m calling on behalf of Evil Boss with Comedy Moustache” and my fellow trainee across the desk did a moustache motion with his fingers, I burst out into hysterics on the phone to the client and had to feign the “Jeremy Cunt” coughing fit that Jim Naughtie copied years later.

In my next job answered phone “Hello you’re speaking to Bumder, can I take your client reference?” Client gives me that “thank you sir, and can I take a note of your name please” Client gives me their name “Thank you Pamela, how can I help?” CRINGE! My colleagues were knotting themselves, I just carried on whilst wanting the floor to open up beneath me, I could hardly say “you sounded like a bloke” could I?