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Original poster

Have you ever embarrassed yourself at work? If so how?

70 replies

smurfy2015 · 27/02/2019 09:34

I was working in an office/ reception job. The manager intended to let me know he planned a fire drill.

Cue the alarm going off, my voice over the intercom with the safety instructions so everyone was outside the perimeter of the premises all shivering our asses off when fire brigade came down the industrial estate heading for our unit.

The manager came over put his head on my shoulder and whispered - you called the emergency services, didn't you? Yes, he had forgotten to tell me it was a drill.

The emergency services asked where the fire was, glad to be told no damage or injuries.

Yes, I was only doing my job but felt embarrassed at wasting emergency services time. Blush

The next drill I got a 10-minute warning so I didn't call them.

OP posts:
Scoleah · 27/02/2019 14:01

I had been working at my New job for about 2 weeks. Main glass doors were ALWAYS open, so never had to push them to get in/out. So I was playing on my phone, walking out, and BANG, walked straight into the Glass door, my Makeup Face was planted on the glass. Blush

Scoleah · 27/02/2019 14:02

They'd closed them as it was so windyBlush absolutely mortified.

PrismGuile · 27/02/2019 14:10

I too have had a trouser split incident. Bent over, crunch, fully split from hip to vagina down the back and ofc I was wearing a thong.

I blame women's clothes and fast fashion.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 27/02/2019 14:31

Not me but an embarrassing story non the less.
My friend called her male employee in for a disciplinary,when he walked in she saw that one of his balls were out of his open fly! Cue lots of "showing your bollock when getting a bollocking" gags for weeks.He took it pretty well actually although I bet he was mortified

DareDevil223 · 27/02/2019 14:42

@Tawdrylocalbrouhaha

Laughing out loud at 'Shitley' Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/02/2019 15:49

Reading through these and have just got to MargotLoveButter's lozenge. Made me laugh very hard. Sorry, Margot. Grin

Off to read the rest now.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/02/2019 15:54

heidipi "... fell headfirst into the fridge." GrinGrin

I'm just flicking through the thread randomly.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/02/2019 15:58

Tawdrylocal Oh my gosh. Shitley, that's inspired. My MIL's name is Shirley...

Mine isn't as funny but similar; I was writing to a client called 'Russ'. He's now permanently monikered as 'Fuss' due to my poor typing skills and the proximity of the 'F' and 'R' keys to each other. Blush

PlatypusPie · 27/02/2019 16:07

Very dull, pointless puffery presentation by visiting very important head office bod, mandatory attendance, had files for actually important client meeting straight after balanced on my knee, dozed off in hot room for a nanosecond, files slid off knee, woke up as they did so, lurched forward to save them, failed but banged my head hard on back of chair in front, expostulated 'fuck !' very loudly, which caused entire room, inc VIP, to stare in horror, and scooted out of the room.

Luckily I was making a lot of money for them from my client or I think my career with them would have been curtains. My colleagues from the local office found it hilarious as I was so not in the habit of swearing.

PlatypusPie · 27/02/2019 16:08

oops, left out that I did say sorry and rubbed my head dramatically as I left the room.

Biancadelrioisback · 27/02/2019 16:13

I fall over a lot. Managed to fall and spill coffee on the brand new carpets. Mortified

chatnicknameyousuggested · 27/02/2019 16:27

Last week I was at a conference talking to a Public Prosecutor. I stood up with my coffee cup, and dropped a wet spoon on her head. It hurt her a bit, and also made a big wet brown stain on the front of her pristine white shirt.

cjt110 · 27/02/2019 16:40

Urh loads... Blush

I worked for a motor retailer. Changing someone's wiper blade... the arm swung back and smashed his windscreen. I had been in the job about 2 weeks and thought that was it. Man was ranting at my boss for the cost to fix the windscreen, a baby sitter blah blah blah... Boss said to me it was an accident. Just don't do it again.

Same employer... forgot to change the decimal point when mixing paint. Came out with a cup brimming with paint, unable to fit anymore in. Colleague pissed himself laughing at me and wouldnt let m mix paint without mentioning 100ml to 1000ml. I ended up married to him!

Once asked a colleague to "send a floppy dick in the post" to a customer.

I get bad tummy issues at times without too much info. Colleague came in coughing and spluttering in from the stairwell which has the loos in. I asked was he OK to which he replied "I think someone has died out there"

Middle of the summer. Stifling heat. I managed to shatter a glass milk bottle and the milk went everywhere. Mopped it up. Managed to tear the near lino in the staff kitchen moving the fridge to mop under. Forgot to rinse the mop. Next day there was a rancid smell as the cleaner was mopping... She mopped the entire kitchen stairwell and anywhere else mop-able with this cheesy mop.. and when challenged said "I know... it stinks" and carried on.

And my pièce de résistance... I ordered a cheapy dress from ebay for holiday. Colleague on phone closing a sale for tens of thousands. I got said dress out to look at it. Only for a pair(?) of Gstring fall onto the bloody office floor. It came up regularly how I had "dropped my knickers" at work......

Do I win a prize? Grin

HankNPat · 27/02/2019 16:44

I'm sure I've had a few, mostly trivial and long lost in the mists of time. But recall once, many years ago, getting bored with the alert sounds on my AppleMac so changed it to a woman's giggle (no longer available - they had some weird alert sounds back in the day!). Our office was one that clients could walk straight into.

Client came in for a rant at my colleague on the next desk; she's ranting, I'm typing; just as she's full rant I hit a key which triggered the alert sound ... a woman giggling. It was only after she gave me the full glare and stormed out of the office that I realised she thought it was me. I changed the alert sound back to something normal after that Blush

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 27/02/2019 16:49

Community safety meeting whilst pregnant (so council staff, police, fire brigade etc), I was retching randomly with morning sickness but hadn't actually been sick. Meeting starts, I start retching, chair asks if I want to stop or take a break, I say it's fine, that I'm not actually going to be sick and we carry on.

10 seconds later I vomit all over the table, a map of the city, half a plate of biscuits and the poor policeman sitting next to me.

I was so embarrassed I promptly burst into tears surrounded by this sea of sick.

pumpkinpie01 · 27/02/2019 16:49

I went to go and get 11’s for everyone, tripped up going out of the door flat on my face onto the pavement, ripped hole in my tights, knee bleeding. My colleagues thought it would then be funny to lock me out . Miss those days Smile

newyearnewwhat · 27/02/2019 16:50

I set fire to the staff kitchen. Whole building evacuated for hours. Tons of damage and I'd only been there a few months.
Do I win? Grin

youngfarmer · 27/02/2019 16:59

When I was in sixth form I had a weekend/holiday job in a high end department store, I was mostly in the area which stocked ornaments/silverwear, that sort of stuff, but also had to cover for the luggage dept on the next floor up which meant loads of rushing around. Got to the end of my first day (which was a manic Saturday) when I'd barely had time to stop, thought I'd done really well and looked the business, when my (thankfully female) manager suggested that I'd be better with a somewhat shorter slip under my uniform navy blue skirt, since the one I was wearing had slipped down so it was about 2 inches below the skirt hemline and had probably been like it all day! Worst thing was it was white because that was all I had at the time Blush Thankfully I was able to buy a somewhat shorter black one from the shop there and then, so at least if it showed it wasn't as much or as obvious!

amusedbush · 27/02/2019 17:00

Oh god, loads. I turn into Mr Bean in social situations Blush

I went through an Atkins diet phase and brought a camembert in to work to eat with lunches. I forgot to put it back in the fridge and when I got to work the entire office stank of brussels sprouts. The cleaners told me that they had cleaned the kitchen and bleached all of the bins but it must be an issue with damp, so they had phoned maintenance Blush I didn't confess that it was my stinky cheese!

My most embarrassing was probably when we were going through a company review. Each team was called separately to a formal meeting with a panel of Big Wigs to discuss what we do and how it adds value to the company, etc. It was our turn (me and three colleagues) and one of the panel members said, "please sit down and help yourself to a drink". I busied myself making a coffee and when I sat down a few minutes later, cup in one hand and a French Fancy in the other, my colleagues were looking at me like ShockConfused. It turns out they were referring to the jug of water on the table and I'd helped myself to the panel's lunch Blush

NeatFreakMama · 27/02/2019 17:03

I was having a go at a chef who had been a nightmare the whole shift and because I was so annoyed I didn't spot the wet floor sign and fell over right in front of the all the staff and knocked the mop bucket over myself Blush I think it must have been hilarious to anyone but me because it was sort of karma.

Original poster
smurfy2015 · 27/02/2019 17:35

Loving these - keep them coming

@newnnchange & notquitethesame Flowers that sounds totally awful,

I did temping once and turned up did a morning of data entry and only me and the boss in the office in silent, no radio allowed as distracting apparently,

Mid-morning I asked where the toilets were, the far end of the building with many businesses and the communal toilets were on the next floor up, it was a very industrial he told me I had "earned" 4 mins toileting time, 1 min for every 30 mins worked so this was approx 11am,

I went off and by the time I found the toilet my time was up, I took my time doing my business, wandered back to the office to a rant from the boss about how long I took at the toilet,

I just smiled and then I watched him get very uncomfortable as I detailed exactly what I was doing in the bathroom to account for my time and would he like me to timesheet it for him noting he was very uncomfortable

I left the post at lunchtime and went back to my agency as he didn't allow coffee/stretch breaks and expected me to sit in front of a screen that wasnt at a good height on an uncomfy chair for 4 hour stretches without stopping at all, wasnt allowed a bottle of drink in the office either.

Turned out it was far from what he had told the agency the job was and they were unaware of the conditions, no one replaced me not from that agency anyhow. The same firm was constantly advertising on a rolling ad that ran and ran.

@Supersoaker10 that made me laugh

Shitley love it, im laughing hard the cat is taking weird looks at me

On the phone from my office base (as was hot-desking and a call came thru for her) when I was working in the community as a mental health support worker, I was speaking to one of the area managers who I meant to say call in whenever you are in x area and we will have the craic, instead I said "call in when you are in x area and show us your craic", its tell not show damnit

OP posts:
trinitybleu · 27/02/2019 18:05

Ripped my trousers a few times fat arse but worst was when I was much younger and I was violently sick in the long, thin corridor on the way to the toilets, having only been in the job a couple of weeks. I mean up both walls, all over the floor, on the door....

Colleagues mopped me up, sent me home in an expensed cab (20+ miles, I'd come by train) with a bucket and some water, said it was all fine, don't worry.

Returned a few days later when the tummy bug had gone, only to have so many strangers ask me if I was feeling OK now. Which was bad enough. And then I noticed the corridor had been completely redecorated and re-carpeted....

Mother87 · 27/02/2019 18:05

Some of these are heeeelariooseGrinGrinGrinpmsl

Mother87 · 27/02/2019 18:16

ChatnickGrinGrinGrinsome of these are soooo funny am sniggering like muttleyGrinGrinGrin

plominoagain · 27/02/2019 18:27

Some years ago I bounded out of a police car to chase someone , only to come to an abrupt halt because when I’d got in the car , my cuffs must have been open and somehow I’d managed to cuff myself to the seat belt .... Fortunately the suspect ran straight into the path of another unit , because my driver was bent double wheezing with laughter ...