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Original poster

WWYD shouted at in supermarket

65 replies

Positivelypractical · 23/02/2019 17:45

This afternoon, I was hurrying round my local supermarket, picking up a few bits and bobs, mind on my shopping list. It was very, very crowded.

I had taken one of those baskets with wheels that you pull behind you. I wasn't concious of hitting anybody's ankles, but as it was busy, I totally could have done.

Next thing I know, there's man shouting really loudly, at me, "you hurt my son, with your basket!" He was a good two metres from me, shouting and pointing, and I felt immediately threatened, because of the shouting. There was a child of about 8-10 rubbing his legs. I must admitt to being so surprised at being yelled at that I didn't react immediately. My first reaction was to apologise, but because he had shouted I didn't. I said "he should be more careful" and walked off, shaking, because I felt really scared.

What would you have done? I'm thinking I should have apologised, but the man shouted and it scared me. I'm now thinking I should go to a different supermarket and I'm feeling really shaken up by the whole thing.

OP posts:

Bowchicawowow · 23/02/2019 20:12

I am not surprised he shouted at you. You thoughtlessly hurt his child.

HeronLanyon · 23/02/2019 20:13

I started the thought that you had shouted back - sorry I misread that! I think because I have shouted in shock when frightened before.

JRMisOdious · 23/02/2019 20:16

What would I have done? Apologised, made sure the child was ok and got on with my shopping.

PostmanPatIsIncompetent · 23/02/2019 20:16

FFS why are so many posters leaping on you? It’s not ok to shout in someone’s face even they have ACCIDENTALLY knocked your kids leg.

Nah, I shouted at someone in the street this week for hitting my baby in the side of the head with their backpack. Very unlike me but he (a) did it (was absolutely his fault, he stepped backwards and turned quickly without looking ) (b) didn't notice he'd done it, (c) ignored me saying "hey!" and my DD crying out; (d) when I tapped him on the arm and told him he'd banged into her he ignored me again. So then, yeah, I yelled. That finally got his attention.

My point being is that if OP says she was unaware of hitting people in the legs, and she says the man was 2 metres away when shouting at her, she was quite possibly unaware of previous attempts to alert her to what had happened. You can understand why that would make someone shout. Had the guy in my example been aware enough of his surroundings to notice what had happened and immediately apologised, there would have been no shouting, cause accidents happen. It's people being oblivious to their impact that really riles people and the OP does sound like she was being oblivious.

That said OP, we all have moments. I've been on your side of a slightly similar situation and in hindsight I was defensive cause I knew, really, that I was in the wrong but I was massively irritated by the day and the crowds and the situation. Things happen. Chalk it up to experience and let it go.

Rubusfruticosus · 23/02/2019 20:23

I know a lot of 9-10 year olds who are shockingly big; they're not little children. Most 9-10 I've known have been around 130 or 140cm, certainly smaller than an adult. It would be easy not to notice and accidentally hurt a person that size if you were not paying attention to your surroundings, but you still need to apologise and not blame the person hit.

Motherofcreek · 23/02/2019 20:28

Oh I would have shouted right back at him.

I’m the first to apologise, in fact I apologise when people bump in to me but if I truley didn’t feel anything, no knock to the basket and all of a sudden some strange bloke was raising his voice at me - I’d shout back - out of shock and intimidation. I have a real fight or flight mechanism and he would have got a gob full back.

There was absolutely no point in her apologising after her shouted at her. He took it to the next level so no apology.

What a great example he shown his lad - scream at women to get them to submit ..

He sounds like an arse hole OP Don’t let it bother you .

Rubusfruticosus · 23/02/2019 20:33

There was absolutely no point in her apologising after her shouted at her. He took it to the next level so no apology No apology to the child who was hurt, and hadn't been the one shouting?

Biancadelrioisback · 23/02/2019 20:33

What a great example he shown his lad - scream at women to get them to submit ..

Or he was trying to be a parent and had the same reaction many women would have if a stranger whacked and hurt their child because they were too self absorbed. If someone hurt my child I would want then to apologise, and a PP gives a great example above where she did the exact same thing.

Why do we always have to make these things into man bashing? How dare he be a man! That was his real crime.

Wolfiefan · 23/02/2019 20:35

You whacked the kid and carried on walking oblivious to having hurt the poor lad? You need to be more careful. If you had hit my child and then walked off without an apology then I would’ve likely raised my voice too. You did wrong here.

Motherofcreek · 23/02/2019 20:39

Or he was trying to be a parent and had the same reaction many women would have if a stranger whacked and hurt their child because they were too self absorbed

She was getting on with her shopping

someone hurt my child I would want then to apologise, and a PP gives a great example above where she did the exact same thing

And so would I - but I wouldn’t lose control and start shouting and take it to the next level. It was clearly an accident.

Why do we always have to make these things into man bashing? How dare he be a man! That was his real crime

Some women do find shouting men indimidating - believe it or not.

It’s not man bashing - it’s walking away from some one who has clearly lost control

Motherofcreek · 23/02/2019 20:41

No apology to the child who was hurt, and hadn't been the one shouting?

No. And he has his parent to blame

SnuggyBuggy · 23/02/2019 20:41

I get this. I'm normally apologetic but if some reacts disproportionately like the shouty man I stop feeling guilty for whatever I've done.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 23/02/2019 20:44

he scared the Britishness out of you

Longdistance · 23/02/2019 20:53

I was in a supermarket in Paris yesterday, a lady next to me slipped and fell. Being very British I apologised ( I thought I’d whacked her with my backpack) It wasn’t even my fault 🤣 it was her crappy cheap shoes. I helped her up. We laughed at cheap shoes.

Weird how that dad was immediately shouty and a twat before you could turn around. Kid was probably twatting about. Mine do in a supermarket, that’s why I leave them at home.

Topseyt · 23/02/2019 21:13

We can all look back at some events and know that we should have acted differently. This is probably one of those events.

He shouldn't have shouted, but he did. You know that you should have apologised , but probably felt rattled by the shouting and were instead defensive. It happens, even though it is wrong. None of us are perfect.

Chalk it up to experience. Tomorrow is another day.

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