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Original poster

WWYD shouted at in supermarket

65 replies

Positivelypractical · 23/02/2019 17:45

This afternoon, I was hurrying round my local supermarket, picking up a few bits and bobs, mind on my shopping list. It was very, very crowded.

I had taken one of those baskets with wheels that you pull behind you. I wasn't concious of hitting anybody's ankles, but as it was busy, I totally could have done.

Next thing I know, there's man shouting really loudly, at me, "you hurt my son, with your basket!" He was a good two metres from me, shouting and pointing, and I felt immediately threatened, because of the shouting. There was a child of about 8-10 rubbing his legs. I must admitt to being so surprised at being yelled at that I didn't react immediately. My first reaction was to apologise, but because he had shouted I didn't. I said "he should be more careful" and walked off, shaking, because I felt really scared.

What would you have done? I'm thinking I should have apologised, but the man shouted and it scared me. I'm now thinking I should go to a different supermarket and I'm feeling really shaken up by the whole thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Positivelypractical · 23/02/2019 19:28

I didn't say sorry because I didn't think that I had done anything at all and the man was shouting. It's only looking back that I'm starting to doubt myself. At the time I just thought that I didn't want to be shouted at.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 23/02/2019 19:32

The kid probably didn't want to be hit by a random basket on wheels towed by someone only bothered to think about their list.

Thesearmsofmine · 23/02/2019 19:32

The normal reaction would be to say oh I’m sorry I didn’t realise, are you ok? Then you all go on your way. Just a normal interaction!

onthebonnybonnybanks · 23/02/2019 19:33

I would have just said ‘Oh I’m really sorry I didn’t see him there, is he ok?’ And if the man was being overly aggressive ‘You don’t need to shout at me it was an accident and I have apologised.’ I have (on several occasions) whacked into other people including children whilst lugging my baby around in a car seat (in various locations for various reasons) and ALWAYS apologise rather than blame others for just being there. However if somebody hit my child with their basket and then blamed my child then I probably would not be very impressed. That said I wouldn’t shout at them like you describe.

Original poster
Positivelypractical · 23/02/2019 19:35

It wasn't a carefully thought out response! It was really loud and echoey in there.

I have no idea why I reacted so badly to the shouting.

I feel really stupid, I'm not usually like that, for a start I'm usually the typical British person who apologises when somebody does something to me, and I feel sure that if somebody had said that rather than shouted then I would have apologised profusely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Positivelypractical · 23/02/2019 19:37

Thanks for all the thoughts, anyway, even those telling me how badly I did.

OP posts:
PrettyLovely · 23/02/2019 19:38

I dont understand why you would have such a rude reaction if you were scared, surely you behaving like that will only annoy an already angry person more.
You behaved poorly I cant believe you wouldnt apologise to a child if you hurt them. You were mean. Poor kid.

Wolfiefan · 23/02/2019 19:39

You didn’t think you had done anything yet the man said you whacked his child with your trolley? Really?

ShadyLady53 · 23/02/2019 19:41

You saw that the child was injured. Even if you were scared your natural response should have been to apologise.

And you really do need to be more careful as it could have been much worse. When I was about 8, I was using one of those trolleys. It was empty at the time and I wasn't paying attention and accidentally banged into an elderly lady who was in a wheelchair. It was only a slight bump but she was on blood thinners and her leg started pouring with blood and fluid. It was horrific.

I also saw a carer trip up the elderly lady she was with with her little cabin bag in an airport. Again, it was a bad accident involving a fractured wrist and hip.

If the man shouted at you so angrily and the child was rubbing his legs, its likely you did something very stupid with the trolley and hurt him pretty badly. If your awareness is so bad, then maybe you need to use a hand basket or a trolley that you can see when you push it.

You were in the wrong and really should have shown at least a little empathy for a child rather than insulting him on top of injuring him.

Original poster
Positivelypractical · 23/02/2019 19:43

I think I felt that there was a man shouting at me and I hadn't done anything. I didn't think I had bashed anybody, it's just looking back that I'm doubting myself. I didn't just saunter off, I went to pay, even though I didn't have everything, and went home and cried. Which is pathetic.

OP posts:
Weightsandmeasures · 23/02/2019 19:46

Rru strange. Also what does ring typically British have to do with it?

You're describing this man as some kind of aggressive monster who was very scary. You describe yourself as typically British and normally polite but this man was so aggressive and scary, he scared the Britishness out of you.

Very strange.

Intohellbutstayingstrong · 23/02/2019 19:47

YANBU If some random man was yelling at me in a supermarket I would not engage and walk away. What a horrible experience for you OP

Original poster
Positivelypractical · 23/02/2019 19:47

You didn’t think you had done anything yet the man said you whacked his child with your trolley? Really?
At the time, I didn't even think he was shouting at me, until he pointed at me.

OP posts:
Intohellbutstayingstrong · 23/02/2019 19:47

Sorry....it's not AIBU

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/02/2019 19:47

If you were frightened I'm surprised that you weren't more conciliatory.

Your blaming the child could have made an angry father even more furious!

A simple - "Sorry - I didn't realise" is all it would have taken.

HeronLanyon · 23/02/2019 19:49

I think you should just chalk this up to an off moment.
It’s really interesting that despite being very frightened you did the one thing which might well have caused real trouble - shouted back and blamed his child !!!!
Sounds like your understandable fear at strange man shouting turned very quickly to anger ??
We’ve all acted inappropriately at times for variety of reasons. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Biancadelrioisback · 23/02/2019 19:50

You're making a lot of excuses... He was a man, he shouted, it was busy, I didn't feel it, I have an ear infection, it was echo-y... Just accept you hit a child with a basket as you were too self absorbed and refused to apologise.

You were shaking? You cried? You couldn't finish your shop? I think you need to seek help

Weightsandmeasures · 23/02/2019 19:50

Positive, do you think the man was lying when he said you whacked his child with your trolley? Do you think the child was lying when he was rubbing his leg? You seem reluctant to own up to what you did. Instead you're giving these mealy mouthed explanations and excuses.

Whereareyouspot · 23/02/2019 19:51

He should not have shouted at you

No wonder you felt scared and reacted oddly

FFS why are so many posters leaping on you? It’s not ok to shout in someone’s face even they have ACCIDENTALLY knocked your kids leg.

OP I hope you are ok? Being shouted at by a bloke is scary because we all know how quickly some men turn violent and even if he wasn’t going to do anymore than yell he was being aggressive and that isn’t on.

Have a bath and some choc and chalk it up to experience.

And use the supermarket again. You almost certainly won’t ever see him again!

Weightsandmeasures · 23/02/2019 19:52

Biamcadel, I concur. You've summarised it perfectly.

feelingsinister · 23/02/2019 19:55

I get really flustered if someone shouts at me too. It actually makes me quite anxious.

The other day I'd parked my car and got out and a woman came over who was getting into her car behind mine. She muttered something so I turned round to see what she wanted and she yelled at me for not leaving her enough room to get out.
There was shitloads of room but I would have moved forward for her if she hadn't shouted. As it was I told her she was rude and walked off.

There's no need to fucking shout at people.

Original poster
Positivelypractical · 23/02/2019 19:57

I didn't shout. And I really didn't feel angry at the time. My remark makes absolutely no sense to me either. Although thinking about it, it's a Saturday and there were lots of kids around and about, and parents telling them to be careful.
It's still a totally illogical and untypical reaction for me. I'm surprised I wasn't more conciliatory too. I think I do have to chalk it up to an off moment as HeronLanyon says. I don't know why I freaked out so much.

OP posts:
AWishForWingsThatWork · 23/02/2019 20:00

I know a lot of 9-10 year olds who are shockingly big; they're not little children. And I've been walked into by a fair number of not small children in the shops, completely not my fault, when they were messing about and not paying any attention to anyone around them.

So it's not clear whose fault it was by your description. I probably would have said sorry, but with a caveat like I hadn't realised the child had walked into my basket as he was moving as well. Because that is fully possible.

Biancadelrioisback · 23/02/2019 20:01

@whereareyouspot where does it say he was in her face?

notanothernam · 23/02/2019 20:08

Even in shock I know my first reaction would be to apologise.