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Original poster

Salary/lifestyle reduction after breakdown - did it work out for you?

28 replies

P123b · 22/02/2019 07:48

I had a major breakdown a few months ago and I'm now looking for work along a line that is more healthy for me and relevant to my interests.

This will require a substantial reduction in salary and paring back our lifestyle.

Has this happened to you? Was it worth it? I'm hoping a simpler life might be a better one, and I won't need to treat myself as much because I won't be miserable any more? Any words of advice?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
RunSweatLaughAndLatte · 22/02/2019 07:51

Not me but my partner has and he's much happier. Plus his earning potential is more now in the job he's doing even though he's taken a £5k pay cut. He's more passionate about the job he's doing now and can see a lot more ideas for continuous improvement.

Nix32 · 22/02/2019 07:59

My OH left a 50k job for a 6k job, which had a massive impact - we downsized etc. It's had a very positive effect on him, but it didn't happen immediately. It's taken a long time for him to realise that his worth isn't determined by his income or job role.

LaserShark · 22/02/2019 08:03

I’m in the situation of feeling like I’m looking down the barrel of a breakdown caused by the stress of my job and I’m realising the only way out is a massive pay cut. So I’m interested in this thread. At the moment it feels like I’m trapped with no real option at all. It doesn’t seem fair to my children to plunge us into financial hardship and it might just swap one kind of relentless misery for another. So I don’t know what to do.

Dowser · 22/02/2019 08:16

Hope you find what you’re looking for op..keeping our mental health robust is so paramount to our well being

Dowser · 22/02/2019 08:19

My dh retired at 58 because he couldn’t find another job . He sold his house and came to live with me and then his p( small) private pension kicked in and his state pension kicked in last year
He’s loved it..even though he wasn’t unhappy in his old job.
Our plumber however is only semi retiring at 65 as he loves his job

fatpatsthong · 22/02/2019 08:20

I did sort of. Early days but going well so far.

nrpmum · 22/02/2019 08:28

Changed jobs after meningitis caused by severe stress. Reduced hours by 25 per week taking a job I can leave at work. Took a 10k pay cut. We have cut our cloth, and my mental and physical health has improved. It has been only a year, so it is still early days but I am definitely getting there.

Mymadworld · 22/02/2019 08:31

I did and it was definitely right for us. I was the main earner in our family and went from a £70k FT job to part time home-working c.£15k!

We had to abolish house extension plans, holidays abroad, sell and downsize cars, massive clothes/lifestyle curb etc. It doesn't really bother me although occasionally I might feel a pang of envy over a friend jetting off on holiday or buying gorgeous new shoes, but the positive impact it's had on our family life has been worth it and frankly, the kids don't know or care whether their food is Waitrose or Lidl and enjoy our camping trips as much as our old villa holidays (although we do actually still get nice holidays courtesy of generous gp Smile)

LaserShark · 22/02/2019 08:36

mymadworld what part time homeworking job did you find paying £15k? If there is anything like that I could do, I would do it in a heartbeat!

Jayneisagirlsname · 22/02/2019 08:39

I did and it was the best decision I ever made. I love my new role but it doesn't take over my life, I can parent better, be a better partner and have time to spend on things I enjoy
Yes, our bank account is not what it was but we budget carefully and prioritise more. We haven't had to move, and are lucky enough to be able to make adjustments in things like clothes, cars, holidays.
I worry about my pension and savings for the future though, and haven't yet seen a way to manage it that we can afford.
However, if life is for living, that is what I do now instead of living to work.

tigerbear · 22/02/2019 08:47

@Lasershark - your post sums up EXACTLY how I’m feeling too right now.
I’m totally and utterly exhausted by my job, every day is a struggle, I’m finding it difficult to get up in the morning, and my partner is urging me to give it all up as he’s so worried about how stressed I am.
BUT I own my own business and currently earn 80-120k a year. I’m not opposed to taking a massive pay cut in theory, but like others on this thread, I have no idea how I’ll save for future events such as DD university fees, or the option of private school for her.
I have lots of equity in my house, but no savings or pension.
Currently trying to sell the house and buy a much cheaper place in order to cut the mortgage.
I just want a job where I do it to the best of my ability, go home, then not think about it again until the next working day. At the moment, every single minute of the day is consumed by work.

Redorangeyellowgreen · 22/02/2019 09:10

No but I've thought about it! So watching with interest.

Think I probably will if/when we have another child. We just about manage with only one DC but think another would tip the balance too far.

Chipsahoy · 22/02/2019 09:19

Yup. Stepped down from management and cut hrs in half. It was so freeing. Completely given up work to start my own side business now. Don't miss career at all. Miss the money sometimes.

TheDrsDocMartens · 22/02/2019 09:48

Dh did. £65k to £16k. Slightly more now but he’s had time at home with the kids and is home for tea every night.

tigerbear · 22/02/2019 10:53

What kind of jobs are you/your partners doing now, those who’ve done it?
The roles I’m considering retraining in all pay MUCH lower than what I’m on now. I’m considering either makeup artist, beauty/nail therapist, personal trainer type of roles, but really scared that there are maybe way too many people in these sectors already, and perhaps there’ll be a shortage of work after Brexit/when recession hits?

LaserShark · 22/02/2019 16:49

I have a fast typing speed and good accuracy so have been looking at transcription jobs working from home. I’m thinking it would be quite dull and the pay does not seem great but it looks like it wouldn’t drive me out of my mind with misery so I’m considering that. I love the idea of training to do nails but I worry it would be insecure. I think I might try to go as part time at work as I can afford and start doing a bit of transcription work on one day off to see how viable it might be to make a switch in the long term. Does anyone have any experience of it?

Mymadworld · 22/02/2019 16:56

@LaserShark I'm a childminder

Disfordarkchocolate · 22/02/2019 16:57

I'm thinking about it. I've been off work for nearly 6 months and I'm beginning to wonder if I should go back when I'm well. I'm worried stress will send me straight back to the GP. I've just started to feel well enough to apply for jobs and I'm only looking at fewer hours and less money because I need to be well.

LaserShark · 22/02/2019 18:04

Thanks, mymadworld, I know I couldn’t do childminding. I’m trying to get out of teaching and I want something as far removed from it as possible! I’m glad you have found something that suits you so much better and I hope all of us on this thread manage to do the same.

Justanotheruser01 · 22/02/2019 18:18

I took an 8k one I no longer have panic attacks no longer feel low and I have so much more time of an evening. I'm a lot less well off personally lucky dh salary is increasing but even without I would rather have less disposable income to be happier

MrsBobDylan · 22/02/2019 18:26

I got bullied out of my job and have two months left of full pay then I'm handing my notice in.

We have sold our house and bought a do-er upper in a much cheaper area.

I will work again when I find out where my confidence and resilience has vanished to. Until then I am going to swim, have coffees out and crochet endless stuff none of my family want.

We move in a couple of weeks and today it has really hit me that I am making a massive change. I hope that it doesn't affect my dc in a negative way, that is my main worry.

wlv12 · 22/02/2019 19:13

I had 6 months off work following a mental health breakdown and started to think I’d never go back. I’ve gone back to a similar role but different environment within the same company and feel so much happier.
I’ve now been back at work 7 months and still mentally as well as expected.

Jayneisagirlsname · 22/02/2019 19:49

LaserShark I left teaching. I thought about childminding but realised I wanted my work separate to home. I took a job as a TA with a 'see how it goes' view but I absolutely love it. All the best bits with no stress.

The pay is rubbish though. If I was on my own, I don't think I could manage my 2 children and I on the salary. My dh doesn't earn masses but between the two of us, it's enough.

Unless something changes in the culture of education, I will never go back to classroom teaching.

Good luck finding a new role.

Crayolaaa · 22/02/2019 19:55

DH did - he went from a crazy salary to nothing due to stress. Lots of lifestyle changes and we're both much happier a year on.

LaserShark · 22/02/2019 20:05

Jayne the pay for TAs is a scandal! Academy CEOs are raking it in whilst the people actually holding things together are paid peanuts. I desperately want to be out of the classroom altogether. I never want to walk into a school building again tbh! I don’t want to do anything that involves education or even talking to anyone. It’s why I have been looking into audio transcription as I’m so bruised and burned out on teaching that a job in my own house wearing headphones and having no human contact sounds amazing!