Things you want to say to people but can't.

[MaybeIamUngrateful]

Mine is to my 2 sisters and 4 brothers, all adults.

I WANT TO BE AN AUNTY.

obviously I can't say that for various reasons,one being that it's none of my business.

But I've had my children, (ones and adult)and been sterilised and I want to be someone's fun aunt

"I hate myself"

"I love you and can we please be friends again"

Oh and "please don't move away, I'm gutted you are leaving and I'll miss you more than a child would miss their blankie"

Borntobeamum They’re tragedy tourists, only there for the drama, don’t engage.

“ our family isn’t that close,we are faking it”

You who lives at the bottom of the hill,we all know you walk your dog up and down re a different route because you are screwing the bloke who lives at the top of the hill...which is your business...but pretending to be friends with his neighbour so you can stand chatting to her while staring at his house to see if his girlfriend is about ....well you are just a a sly cow,and that is putting it politely.

I can't work there anymore. Its all too much stress and games. You all suck the life out of me, even though you don't know you're doing it.

Stop pretending you're poor. You are a single, childless woman earning very good money, it's not my fault you spend it all on going out and holidays.

I miss you so much. I'm so sad you allowed your new girlfriend to cut me out. I thought you were better than that.

Why do you keep ignoring the red flags? The only reason he married you was so he could get a visa - that's why he hasn't told anyone he knows! He's an alcoholic and a bully. Your last good partner was B and she made you so happy. They've been progressively worse since. I'm sorry your family's homophobic and wouldn't accept you as you are.

No, I'm not okay.

Recruitment people - stop dicking me around! I need a job badly. I'm tired of running around and jumping through hoops only to have you not bother to call me back or say dismissivley - 'Not enough experience' AFTER reading my CV and interviewing me! then getting narky when I ask for more feedback! it's a waste of my time and money. I hope one day you're unemployed and can't get a job then you'll know what it's like.
I hate recruitment people. Most unhelpful people ever.

Stop telling me you're interested in me then ignoring me for DAYS! It's messing with my head and if I had a shred of self-worth, I would have told you to fuck off by now.

Your child's name is horrid and I was shocked you used it

It's not even a matter of opinion it's a bona fide unanimous MN vipers endorsed "dreadful" name

I wish I could tell a family member that her sister is actually her mother. I think everyone should know where they come from.

Also, I’d love to tell my colleagues:

“Look, this is hard for me to say, as introverts hate any kind of attention, but I find socialising in large groups and with people I don’t know absolutely suffocating. It doesn’t mean I don’t like you.”

They are always arranging nights out and I am running out of excuses!

My son daughter in law don’t bring grandchildren to see us.

Your MIL is not a "fucking bitch" nor is she "showing her favouritism" by declining to mind your baby four days a week when she did it for her first grandchild. Her grandson is NINETEEN ffs. By the time you go back to work she'll be twenty years older than she was when she stepped in to help her newly widowed child with his toddler.

The fact she is "only" willing to have your little one two days a week is something you should be fucking grateful for. You've openly said you know she'll take great care of the baby, she'll follow your rules and has said she'll do whichever two days you want so you can work round the other childcare you need. Most people would snap her hand off you ungrateful cow.

Person 1 - you absolutely annoy me, I only spend time with you so you don't go crying to the manager that I'm not being friendly. You're voice goes through me and the fact that you mansplain and no one else has an opinion makes me want to get up and leave.

Person 2 - you are a self centred fuck. Grow up, you suck at your job and the cracks are starting to show. Stop trying to put people down. Also stop sleeping around because you're unhappy

Person 3 - thank you so much for all you do for me. It makes me sad when I see you so little and have to leave.

Person 4 - I wish I missed you but I don't.

SIL you are a bitch and you are going to run your parents into the ground unless you gave them a rest from having to look after YOUR children. They are getting older and you have to start taking responsibility or you will be fucked when they die or get ill and can’t help anymore
Also they need a fucking holiday so stop trying to guilt trip them into not going as they need to look after YOUR kids.

And what we arrange with PILs without you butt out trying to dictate when it happens, PIL and us don’t have to work around you and your childcare needs and wants. Have you ever heard of after school club???

PIL grow a fucking back bone

T: your queen bee act is straight out of high school. Acting like a bitch, bad mouthing people and trying to out posh everyone in a small community will win you know favours. You are a 45 year old woman for gods sake, grow up. Oh, and literally no one cares who your husband is and what rank he is (and managing to drop this into every conversation ever just makes you look like an even bigger twat).

I love my baby but I don't miss him. I like being away and being myself at work.

Fuck off with your 'spoiling ' him as I pick him up when he cries he's 7 MTHS fucking old . You ahve zero children so have no idea what it's like so go be judgy elsewhere

It's your job, you chose to be self employed so stop pissing moaning about it and get on with it or cahnge jobs. Oh and no I won't be helping you out for free , as your busy, I already ahve a full time job and look after the sodding children

SIL I love you but you really make it hard to like you when you lie all the time - how's the brain tumour coming that you said you had 2 years ago but haven't since mentioned? I hate that every time I really need DH and am at my most vulnerable you swoop in with another lie. I know you do it for attention but he'd give you so much more if you'd stop making things up.

You have absolutely no idea what your oh so perfect brother was like to live with. He was a weak characterless drunk who controlled us with his moods. So happy to be free of him.

I fancy you, have done for months. It would be socially unacceptable to get together with you, might damage your career. Would certainly damage my marriage. So I keep my thoughts to myself. But surely if you look at my face, can't you read how I feel?

You must apply the standards you expect from others, to yourself. I’ll help you; I love you dearly and hate to see you lonely.

@lyralalala
I don't think I'd be able to stop myself saying that one out loud! My baby isn't even born yet but my ExDP (father) has already been told he will need to make sure he uses his annual leave to give his DP a regular break from the one day a week they plan to be helping (term time only)!

Mine is:
can't you see that you aren't cut out for this job? It's never going to be well paid and you don't even seem to like it so why are you here? It's be better for all of us if you moved on.

Lots of women in my life: please for the love of god, stop having conversations at me about your diets, how many sins a curry has, how you've been 'good' because you had diet coke. I am not here to justify your behavior, I am not the judge of your calorie intake. I had massive food issues that I have worked very hard to come to a good place with. I cannot take the burden of your neurosis. Plus, its dull AF.

Friend. I love you but not everything is a competition.

I wish I could tell my brother's wife everything I know about him. She would gather up her three young daughters and run. I toyed with the idea of contacting her before the wedding, but she wouldn't have believed me and it would only have brought my brother back into my life, so I left it.