I hate my volunteer position

[IndigoGnome]

I feel awful and don't know what to do. I volunteer with a service that provides company for lonely people in the community. I was matched with a lady who lives alone, she has mobility issues so doesn't get out much and to begin with I really enjoyed visiting her. But as time has gone on I'm finding it really difficult. I'm supposed to visit for an hour a week, I always stay for 1hr 30 at least but she gets very upset when I say I have to go and I feel awful leaving her knowing she's going to be on her own. She contacts me a lot between visits, calling and texting. Technically the agreement we both signed says numbers should only be used to arrange/cancel/rearrange meetings. But I don't feel like I can remind her of that, there's not really a nice way of saying it without upsetting her.

I believe she's depressed, she said to me last time that my visits are the only thing that keeps her going. This sounds awful and selfish I know but I'm not sure I can cope with that kind of responsibility. I'm so worried that if I were ill, or one of my DC etc and I couldn't make a visit one week that it would really affect her.

I've tried to get her to come to local community meeting things, basically tea and cake at the local church hall so she can get to know more people. But she's not interested.

I'm so ashamed because obviously I chose to do this but I just dread visiting her and feel so emotionally drained when I leave. Along with the massive guilt that I couldn't stay for longer and have made her cry when I leave.

I've gently broached the subject of seeing the gp about her mood but she completely shut that down. I don't know how to help her.

I'm aware I sound selfish and I honestly feel awful, I just don't know what to do for the best.

The same thing happened to me years ago. The lady had lost her husband 4 years previously and had become extremely bitter and her neighbours/friends had given up on her as she was all doom and gloom in a very aggressive way. The befriending service was her last hope and in hindsight shouldn't have been offered to her as it was very apparent at the introduction that she wanted/needed much more than an hour a week.
I started off feeling sorry for her but hated her at the end She wanted everyone to suffer because she had lost her husband and was terribly competitive about her grief. None of her elderly, widowed neighbours suffered like she did or knew pain like hers. Thank heavens exchanging numbers was forbidden!

I volunteer for a deaf charity, and I visit elderly people who are often lonely. I realised very early on that giving out my personal mobile number was a very bad move. I now have a £19.99 basic mobile on pay-as-you-go which I use just for work, I've disabled voicemail, and I switch it off when I'm not working. So although my clients may have my number, they can't use it - if they want me they have to call the office who will pass a message to me.

The only issue I've ever had was one lady who looked me up in the phone book, and rang me at home late one evening on my home phone.

I’ve worked as a volunteer and also manage volunteers now.
BOUNDARIES
No exchanging of personal numbers, provide work phones if you want clients to be able to access support out of prearranged times. Volunteers have to switch phones off out of hours. A client at a drop in was telling me she’d called a volunteer at 3am and I was livid on the volunteer’s behalf- at how unboundaried and mismanaged that project is. 😡

As everyone has said, speak to your supervisor and ask to be matched with someone else. For the phones, there needs to be a main number given so if a volunteer or client needs to cancel they phone the main number and someone there rings the other person. That way personal numbers aren't given out.

Far better you stop now whilst you're still willing to help someone else than let it drag on to the point where you give up altogether.