why do people have a long time off Work for stress

[Awayfortheweekend]

My friend hasn't been at work since November. I understood at first why she would need a break long hours etc. Now it's been three nearly four months. I'm wondering why she isn't looking for another job as if she still doesn't feel ready to return after all this time maybe her current job isn't for her. I've been in the situation myself and took a week off thought things through and decided I could no longer work there.

If someOne had cancer would you be so keen they resign?

Mental health problems are like physical ones. The stress of work may not be too much when your colleagues mental health is fixed. Just because you felt stressed out does not mean you had a mental health stress illnesses.

Variations of this thread keep coming up at the moment! Clearly there is a real lack of understanding about mental health.

I’ve been off with stress twice.

The first time l was off for 6 months. I was crying all the time, with hideous anxiety, and couldn’t sleep.

This is why l was off for 6 months. What’s not to understand?😏

There is a huge difference between someone feeling stressed because they have s heavy workload that week than someone who has anxiety or depression and unfortunately many people use the terms interchangeably when discussing sickness from work.

I suspect there is far more going on with your friend than she wants to share with you.

I can fully understand why people go off with stress.
I am as hard as nails and had a few tears this week after a 'fraught' phone call, god knows how someone less sensitive would handle the pressure on a continual basis.
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Take a look at the bullying thread on Employment Issues and you may start to understand possible reasons why people feel the need to take extended time off work with stress.

If a person is subjected to a hate campaign by a vile manager, that person is mentally vulnerable and their only recourse to safety is to get legally signed off by their GP so they can heal and rebuild.

Mental illness is invisible, it's so often a phenomenon that is difficult for other people to grasp - there's no plaster cast for the mind.

A few years ago I was signed off work due to stress for about 6 weeks at the time.
I loved my job, and my colleagues, but the workload was so huge I buckled. I couldn’t sleep, kept bursting into tears, couldn’t enjoy my family or friends and was ‘absent’ from life.
Time out allowed me to recover and then I did a phased return. But I still remember the panic attack I experienced just pulling into the car park for a return to work chat just half way through my sick leave.
I think it’s very unfair to compare your experience with your friend. You should try asking her how she’s doing, and really listen to her answer.

Yeah, it was the panic attack that did it for me. That’s when l went off.

Yes I fully understand that some time away may help however an extended absence surely makes it much harder to return.

Probably due to attitudes like yours.

Stress and anxiety have the same symptoms but it's more socially acceptable to say we're stressed. It can minimise the impact on a person's life, if their daily functioning is affected to the degree that they are unable to work, thrn a couple of days off is going to do bugger all.

Try having a bit more understanding and compassion.

I hope you don't voice your opinion to your friend.

an extended absence surely makes it much harder to return.

It may or may not, depending on the individual. The same as it may or may not for an individual with cancer or any other debilitating illness.

Do you suggest they resign and claim benefits? Because that's a surefire way to break someone's soul and make them feel even worse than they already do.

If a person is subjected to a hate campaign by a vile manager, that person is mentally vulnerable and their only recourse to safety is to get legally signed off by their GP so they can heal and rebuild.*

But why go back to that job if it’s detrimental to your mental health?

Surely the pressure of taking so much time off and then having to return adds to the mental health problems?

Also, it’s 4 months of colleagues having to pick up the extra work or a temp replacing you - which would also add to the pressure.

And of course someone else who may be a better fit for the role and is in desperate need of a job could have taken it instead.

I think it’s very rarely work stress alone and I’ve never seen it where there weren’t other significant factors. Work stress might just be the straw. I think coming back is harder if you haven’t taken measures to make it easier and you don’t have good team relationships in the first place.
There is a time when it becomes unsustainable and absence management comes into play. That shouldn’t happen until every potential way to support someone back has been explored.
In my team’s, it would be about the six month stage when we started questioning whether this could work again.

And of course someone else who may be a better fit for the role and is in desperate need of a job could have taken it instead.

"Sorry @ScrumpyCrack, someone else is a better fit for your job and they were desperate so we don't need you back on Monday. Hope that's OK!"

Maybe you don’t know what’s actually going on with her mental health and life?

Please feel free to check my other thread, but I went back after my physical injuries had resolved, and I’ll go back on Monday even though I’m in a mess. Because the thought of people like you musing about why I was off and feeling like I was letting my colleagues down was too much pressure. I shouldn’t feel that way. Show some compassion.

On the flip side I do agree that sometimes “giving in to it” isn’t healthy either and at some point you need to walk on. It’s a very very fine balance.

Well, I think the thread is a bit goady but up to a point I agree.

When someone is signed off for months with WRS, that does indicate to me that perhaps for them to continue working in that role isn't tenable.

It's sometimes needed though.

Also, it’s 4 months of colleagues having to pick up the extra work or a temp replacing you - which would also add to the pressure.

I am one of those colleagues. I am covering for a colleague who is off with stress long term. He has had no practical support and been shat on from a great height from the very top who are either incapable or unwilling to do the job properly themselves. None of this is his fault. He told them he was struggling and they didn't listen. He told them he needed help and they didn't listen.

I am doing his job and my job and my own mental health is now suffering as a result. I am looking for another job and so is he. The problem is not him, it's a management problem.

I wonder that too. Surely the longer you're off the harder it is to come back? It doesn't solve the problem of what caused the stress in the first place either does it. The same problems/stress will still be there when you go back.

Variations of this thread keep coming up at the moment

It's the same person starting them imo...

When I am stressed I cry a lot. Uncontrollably, for hours. I either stop sleeping or sleep all the time. Sometimes I hallucinate, sometimes I am delusional. have physical responses, with aching and sometimes heart pain. I sit and shake for hours. The entire world becomes impossible.

If I was too stressed to work, I would also be far too stressed to find a job. I would need the time doing nothing to be able to get a different job. Stress is not always feeling stressed.

weary your post seems to imply that well paid people are immune from stress, anxiety or depression- otherwise why reference their remuneration? How often do we hear of people taking their own lives but friends and family members saying "there were no signs, she seemed fine that morning" So his behaviour on that night did not necessarily reveal his true mental health.

I know people who have taken time off work - often referred to as "stress" when actually as others say it was more often than not depression and anxiety. The time away can help them (re)build coping mechanisms, seek medical support, identify triggers that better enable them to return to work and hopefully continue to be successful at their job (I am assuming that they were successful in their role before the mental health episode hit)

wow

I agree that it's the same person.

There needs to be more awareness of mental health issues. My husband is in a very stressful professional job and he has been off on occasions 6 months or more with stress/depression. When ill he can sleep for days on end, doesn't eat or wash. Even when he is feeling better going back to work has to be very carefully managed.