why do people have a long time off Work for stress

[Awayfortheweekend]

My friend hasn't been at work since November. I understood at first why she would need a break long hours etc. Now it's been three nearly four months. I'm wondering why she isn't looking for another job as if she still doesn't feel ready to return after all this time maybe her current job isn't for her. I've been in the situation myself and took a week off thought things through and decided I could no longer work there.

There's also the other side to consider - someone very close to me was off long-term with stress. He felt ready to return, but the things that caused him to snap were management related issues, and occupational health wouldn't allow him to return until management had resolved those issues.

Bombardier25966 yes, fine thanks.

As others have said, mental illness is no different to physical illness in that it can have a long recovery time.

Also, once you have been off for a long time, it isn't as simple as just deciding you're ready to return. The employee may need to see occupational health and/or be cleared by their GP, who may be cautious about sending them back too soon.

I had a similar amount of time off a few years ago, with stress/depression. I didn't think I would be able to return to my workplace, but by taking it slowly I was able to go back on a phased return, resign at a more appropriate time and actually get another job in the same field. If I had rushed back, it would probably have been the end of my career.

Stress is just so much more than what some people think it is. Stress in itself can cause so many health problems even death. And you never know how that person is dealing with stress. I get you could be concerned but I'm not sure why you're concerned how much time she had had off work as a friend you should just be concerned about her not how much time she has had off.

But why go back to that job if it’s detrimental to your mental health?

Maybe the person doesn't have a choice. Maybe they are in financial dire straits or have financial obligations that mean they can't just hand in their notice and leave. But it is true a job should not be at the cost of MH. If the person resigns, they don't immediately qualify for benefits!

They may be trapped because their mental state is so fragile, their confidence is shot to pieces and trying to attend interviews may be a massive mountain for them to climb.

Creating space by being off work due to WRS can be helpful to rebuild and think towards a brighter future. However, without the support network around them, and feeling they somehow deserve it because they've been conditioned to thinking they're incompetent by a crap manager may make performance at interview a real struggle.

If only people could think beyond the immediate...

Your 'friend'. What are you trying to achieve OP? People haven't and still don't agree. Are you going to keep asking until you get a different answer? It's very boring

I understand that they may feel trapped. I had a colleague go through this who had several return dates scheduled and the night before each one she would ring me in tears saying she was being physically sick at the thought of driving in and facing our boss. It completely changed her.

Months later she had taken time off and found a new position, she would say regularly how much she regretted not making the move earlier.

If the problem is the management, how will they ever feel supported enough to return? The cycle will continue.

In terms of financial concerns, I do get it but it can’t be helpful relying on SSP or getting full pay with a deadline of expiry that’s constantly at the back of your mind.

Why do you keep posting multiple threads about the same issue?

How do you know it's the same poster?

Why is this any of your business?

And if just a week was enough for you, that's not stress stress love, that's just having a bit of a hard time.

daisy there's been multiple threads all on the same theme over the last few weeks, all posting in the same manner/tone as op.

Depends if they are getting enough support. They might need CBT, AD's, other help and support. But the wait time for these is long.
But really something should be being done for them. Has the GP initiated anything?

Is this the 3rd or 4th time you've posted the same thread, OP?

Whatevs, you're an arsehole regardless of what number we're on now.

Because as i wrote on a v similar thread about a week ago - stress damages the brain and this impacts on your cognitive abilities. Those connections and nerve endings in the brain take time to grow back and recover. Just like bones need time to heal after a break.

I’m off with stress at the moment. I’m very good at my job and have done it for various employers for 30 years. It is not ‘the job’ which is the issue, it’s that more and more has been piled on me and I rspaxhed breaking point. I’m in discussion with management about making my job reasonable again so I can do it without damaging my mental health as I have for the last 30 years. I won’t be going back until this happens, so how long I’m off is entirely up to my workplace. I do feel bad about colleagues covering, but that isn’t my fault or my problem. It’s another management issue.
At the moment I couldn’t go back because I’m still too ill - I went in for a meeting about what could be done to make my work life bearable and found it ridiculously stressful and exhausting despite the meeting itself being very positive.

I guess I haven't been trapped financially.
I imagine quitting my job rather than leave it in limbo for weeks or months. I imagine quitting before it got to that point that months off were required. Months off for stress would just add to my stress, not make me better. You know the job isn't going to change.

As I stated on the similar/identical thread last week, I know somebody signed off with stress who committed suicide last week. People at work were hounding them by calling and texting them. And probably knew fuckers at work like op were questioning and judging their time off.
Have some compassion for people for gods sake.

Good job we have disability laws eh Scrumpyjack?😡

The same problems/stress will still be there when you go back

Not necessarily. When i was off with stress it was escalated to someone more senior than my line managers who helped address the issues that had caused me to go off

I was off with stress for a few months, and tried desperately to find a new job in that time. I was in a terrible frame of mind and that was a real barrier to me being successful in my applications, and also made me feel worse every time I was rejected. Your colleague needs time out to recover, not to have the worry of trying to find a new job on top of everything else.

I guess it depends on what is causing the stress. If it is work related then if it was me, after a certain point, i would (and did) think that it would be a good idea to seek out a different job for the sake of my own well being. However, a new job can take a long time to find and there are probably many reasons why some people would feel tied to their existing job.
Sadly in this world there are some people who take as long off as possible just because they can and they make other people, who might have to cover for them, less tolerant.

Um yeah?