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Original poster

Do you buy birthday presents for your adult children?

54 replies

nancy75 · 13/02/2019 21:16

Just wondering really, if you have adult children do you still buy them a birthday present?
My family do, my Dp was 40 recently & in all the years I’ve know him his parents have never given him a birthday or Christmas present - is that odd?

OP posts:
Original poster
nancy75 · 13/02/2019 22:02

I feel very sorry for Dp, my parents love any excuse for a get together & they treat Dp like another one of their own children - we will go to theirs & have birthday dinner (and cake) for Dp & they will get him a gift and make a big fuss. I love them for being like this but I know in some ways it makes Dp realise how thoughtless his own parents are.

OP posts:
Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 13/02/2019 22:06

My gasted is flabbered that some people don't!
Christmas is surprises, birthdays are a chosen gift.
Ds 25 wants new boxing gloves this year.

Mrskeats · 13/02/2019 22:07

Yes of course.
Yes buy presents for my daughters’ boyfriends as well.
I think it’s sad that people don’t bother.

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RolandDeschainsGilly · 13/02/2019 22:09

Fuck all from my Dad since I was 21. Nothing from my Mum since I was 10 (she’s abusive and we’re NC.)

My Grandparents give me money for my birthday Grin

SimoneStrasser · 13/02/2019 22:10

My eldest is 23 and my youngest 19.

We still buy them some gifts to unwrap; clothes ,trainers or money towards a festival ticket, I imagine we’ll carry on finances allowing.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 13/02/2019 22:17

At 47 my df has never bought me a gift... Flitted in and out of my childhood but wallet never opened.

OffWithThePixies · 13/02/2019 22:31

My parents give gifts to my siblings and their spouses, plus assorted grandchildren. I didn’t get so much as a greeting card for my wedding (siblings all got £20k), and haven’t had a present since I was 19. Their excuse is we’re never with them for Christmas or birthdays as we live on the other side of the world. It’s not they don’t love DH, they stay with us for three weeks every second year. Still, we celebrated our 14th anniversary yesterday so I’m blessed

didireallysaythat · 13/02/2019 22:40

Last present from my parents when 16. My father (since remarried) gave me £100 to spend on myself for my 40th (I'd just had DS2) and I bought a fantastic coffee machine. Only give or receive token presents at Xmas from my mother-in-law she is staying with us.

And yet I have to buy my MIL Xmas presents (DH lacks imagination!) - she does presents for DS1&2 but not us.

Auslander · 14/02/2019 00:44

Yes, I will always buy mine Xmas and birthday presents, even though they're adults with kids of their own now. I also buy for their partners.
My parents still buy me and my siblings Xmas and birthday presents and we're all in our fifties.
It's the normal thing to do as far as I can see.

SusieQ5604 · 14/02/2019 00:59

Of course! My daughter is 30, I will always buy for her! My mama died, but my daddy is 81 and still buys me and my sisters birthday presents. Yesterday I got a valentine day card and a check in the mail! And he sends to all his grandchildren, too, along with birthday cards and checks...

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 14/02/2019 01:05

My DCs are 22 and 20 and I'll always give them a present if I have it to give. Uusually £100 or so in value or cash - they're both right after Christmas. My own parents give me, DH and my DC £50 each on our birthdays.

WaterBird · 14/02/2019 01:59

My parents still give me presents, because they enjoy it. If it's something food-related (I love new candy as well as hot sauce, not together obvs!), they might give me something new they might have found. They will sometimes give me books or a digital album (the other two things I love to get), but because all 3 of us have different styles I specify which one it is I want. We also do secret Santas for Christmas and almost all of the group that come are adults.

EdtheBear · 14/02/2019 02:08

I can kind of see the parents logic as they are abroad. Postage for stuff cost a fortune.
Exchange rates and his wealth vs theirs might mean money is pointless. But that doesn't explain lack of phone call.

temma35 · 14/02/2019 02:37

Yes, I do. My mum also get me birthday gift too.

Oddsocksandmeatballs · 14/02/2019 02:42

I do for mine, I also always buy for my son-in-law. My mum doesn't buy for me but she does for my sister.

redeyetonowheregood · 14/02/2019 03:20

My mum hasn't sent me a birthday or Christmas gift for decades. I am mid 40s. She sometimes tells me to use her card to buy myself something. I have her card details to buy presents for my children. She lives abroad.

NutElla5x · 14/02/2019 03:25

I do yes-and will continue to do so as long as I'm alive-though I don't spend as much on them as when they were little. I also buy for my adult nephews and nieces,though I have considered stopping as they now earn more than me!

ArmchairTraveller · 14/02/2019 06:44

Yes, but they buy us presents on our birthdays too. Same with grandparents. Not nieces and nephews now they are adults though.
Everyone gets something at Christmas.

DappledThings · 14/02/2019 07:52

My parents buy DH birthday presents but not me because I hate it and have asked them not to. PIL buy for both of us because they think I'm weird for not wanting anything. Trying to work out how to politely put my foot down about it this year.

My parents also buy for my SIL and for my brother if he comes up with anything he wants. He's pretty ambivalent about it whereas I actively hate it. Brother and I don't buy for each other.

EmpressAdultHumanFemale · 14/02/2019 08:14

My siblings & I are in our 40s, we all still buy for each other and our parents. It would feel pretty joyless not to.

HarrySnotter · 14/02/2019 08:17

I can't imagine not buying my DCs a birthday present, whatever their age.

TabbyM · 18/02/2019 15:45

Since my DM died a couple of years ago I have realised how much she was the true parent as my Dad ignores my birthday, my brothers', grandchildren's and everyone else's. And Christmas. He is not depressed or badly off but this feels very miserable. Adults should at least be remembered by their own parents / DH /close family...

anniehm · 18/02/2019 15:47

Yes, or cash sometimes, this year a weekend away!

Dreamzcancometrue · 18/02/2019 15:48

Nah, they haven't done for a while. But I have more money than them atm so I guess I dont need anything off them.

Birdie6 · 18/02/2019 15:51

Yes, sure. I love buying things for them - nothing expensive, just something personal. We've stopped doing adult Christmas gifts, since there are plenty of grandchildren to buy for, but birthdays are special . I'll never stop buying gifts for mine.