Sister in laws hurting me. Help.

[Bedsidedrawer]

DH sister and BIL wife love to post on social media about their days out, nice long chats etc.
They have completely excluded me since my MIL died. It cuts like a knife alongside the grief I am dealing with. Hurts DH too.
Sad thing is I used to be close but something odd happened when MIL died. My DH sister particularly seemed to close up and shut me out. I was close to MIL and couldn't understand it.
I'm in a mess this am after yet another post on Facebook, a shopping trip. I have kids and need to get a grip.

Hide their posts for a while until you feel like going back on Facebook.

Facebook is toxic.

Also, if they need to be shouting about how close they are on social media - are they really? Social media tells mostly lies.

I know this to be true but I'm like a hurt little child at the moment. It is grief but why suddenly am I not worthy of them anymore?

Who is she going on shopping trips with?

My other SIL it says in the post

Is that her sister?

No. Her other brother's wife.

Ah, I see. No idea why she's decided to freeze you out? That is a bit weird.

Nothing obvious, no fall out. Just I sensed it and then this. Grief does weird things I suppose but I worry lasting damage is being done

I'd leave facebook alone for a while.

Yes I will. But that doesn't solve the issue of why I'm excluded, why our relationship has deteriorated.

I don't get the impression that grief is affecting them. They sound like mean girls in the playground who get a kick out of knowing you'll see that they're spending time together. I would hide their FB feed and recognise they're not the friends you thought they were.

Has the will be processed perhaps MIL left something personal for you and they are jealous of your relationship with MIL.
Please come of FB when you feel low everything posted on there always seems as though it's aimed at you even if it isn't.

How awful. Has something happened with the will or her assets she is angry about?

Seems to strange to just shut you both out. Have you asked her?

FIL still alive so nothing in will etc. No one has mentioned anything about something being left.

could you ask her what's happened?

I think you can either rise above their (possibly) deliberate attempts to upset you via Facebook, or ask them what’s the problem.
I agree with the pp who says Social media posts tell
Mostly lies. People can make their lives sound so amazing, when they are actually unhappy.

Have you asked either of them to meet up and do something with you? The phone works both ways.

When did MIL die?
I agree come of FB for the time being. In your shoes I would go and see her and ask her what was wrong. Sometimes talking is the only solution.

Your SIL's mother died.

BIL's wife is supporting her, perhaps trying to distract her from her grief.

Perhaps you are not the priority in this situation.

Hide anyones post on FB who are upsetting you/dh.

Concentrate on supporting FIL and dh. Ket these bullies do there own thing.

Agree with PP. Your SIL lost her mother. Her SIL is helping her through it. They aren't out to have fun to exclude you. It's not about you. You should be the one going to her and offering support. The fact you aren't and you are waiting for her to come to you should tell you something.

FIL still being alive doesn't preclude her leaving you something .

I'm sorry you're so distressed + .

Ignore them .

Agree with @hotwing face book is toxic. I deactivated mine and I've honestly never felt happier.

Have you tried to meet up with her / them on a number of occasions and been ignored? If not, perhaps your other sil is just better at this stuff and it’s not personal at all.

How can I support her when she shuts me out?
And I'm supporting my DH and FIL whilst dealing with my own grief. Not suggesting for a second my loss is as tough as hers but she's shut out my DH too and it was his mum too.