Sister in laws hurting me. Help.

[Bedsidedrawer]

DH sister and BIL wife love to post on social media about their days out, nice long chats etc.
They have completely excluded me since my MIL died. It cuts like a knife alongside the grief I am dealing with. Hurts DH too.
Sad thing is I used to be close but something odd happened when MIL died. My DH sister particularly seemed to close up and shut me out. I was close to MIL and couldn't understand it.
I'm in a mess this am after yet another post on Facebook, a shopping trip. I have kids and need to get a grip.

When my MIL died, and I was extremely close to her after 30 years, one of my SIL acted really oddly. To me especially. She was pretty horrid actually.

I’ve tried to accept that she was grieving and not entirely rational. It still really hurt. Now, more than a year later she is better.

Come off the social media and be pleasant when you see her. Give it time and in all likelihood you will get your relationship back. Unless she really does have some grudge against you that you are unaware of? I suppose you could enlist your DH to tactfully ask her DH but in all honesty I’d lust give it time.

( we still haven’t scattered the ashes due to SIL’s control issues so it’s not just me.)

Why do people think they need to be so involved in inlaws lives? Maybe she just gels better with the other sil. Do you have friends who you go out with? Maybe concentrate on your own social life and arrange to meet up with your friends, instead of watching what she is up to on Facebook. You can unfollow her so as not to see any of her posts, or snooze her for 30 days - probably best if it's bothering you that much. If it's a thing that you were great friends and did things together before MIL died then just ask her what has changed.

She doesn't owe you anything.

I'd assume she's doing the best she can, and people are supporting her as best they can.

I doubt that you are even on her radar at the moment.

Was she close to your husband before their mother died? Or was it just a duty relationship?

She was close to us both so to not even be on her radar is sad

You didn’t answer the question. Have you reached out to her several times?

I did initially yes. Lots of texts, calls, hugs etc which were cold shouldered. Then I backed off because of this, then this happened.

Well she has lost her Mum, it is a very difficult time. I understand that you loved your MIL but losing a mother is not comparable. I wonder whether the other SIL is focused on her, whereas she may have felt that your sadness was stopping her from expressing her own grief ?

I can understand why you’re hurt then. Maybe she just needs to be with one person. Perhaps your other sil is better at meeting her needs. Maybe the shutting out is deliberate. Who knows Get off fb and take some time to look after you. See your friends.

I think you are making this about yourself.

She is your husband's sister. Has he actually, himself, picked up the phone and asked her to meet up with him to do something?