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Original poster

Can they cross their arms to avoid Ash Wednesday cross?

98 replies

Ohfuxx · 11/02/2019 17:24

Kids go to Catholic school but aren't Catholic.

They don't want ashes on their heads Ash Wednesday.

Can they cross their arms like when you don't want to receive communion?

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 12/02/2019 02:46

WHich is more important? Your view on religion or your childrens education?

Pick one, because you cant have both.

Either your kids education is paramount in which case you accept and suck up the less palatable parts of it. Or your views on religion are more important in which case you need to move them to a less desirable school.

Either way, stop being "that" parent and trying to have it all your own way. Objecting to religious practices in a religious school you chose to send your child to is ridiculous and frankly makes me embarrassed for you.

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/02/2019 02:52

And I am loving the self proffessed "critical thinker" describing a religious observance as weird :o

thefirst48 · 12/02/2019 03:03

No your weird by sending your non catholic children to a catholic school. If you or your children don't like what they practice then put them in a different school! People like you are CF!

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Philosophy & religion
Noteventhebestdrummer · 12/02/2019 04:20

Just tell them not to go up. Tell the head they won't be going too. Also email the Governors, it's not an unusual situation.

jellycatspyjamas · 12/02/2019 05:09

I attended Catholic school myself and was. Forced to attend church every week. So I know all about it.

So you knew then that there would be an expectation that your children participate in religious observance at school. So your children aren’t being “dragged into” something, they’ve been lovingly placed there by a parent who wants the best for their education. It’s a good teachable moment, I think, fir your children to learn that sometimes we take the rough with the smooth - the good educational environment comes with a side order of religious observance which they may need to take part in to some degree whether they believe or not.

You could also talk about the need for respect for the values, beliefs and traditions of people who think differently to you... oh, wait a second...

wellhellothereall · 12/02/2019 05:20

Ffs if you send them to a catholic school you should expect this. Surely a bit of ash of the head is worth it for a good education.

UrsulaPandress · 12/02/2019 06:05

I wonder why the catholic school is the best school in the area?

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 12/02/2019 06:17

A shame there is not better non-faith provision in your area. Your children should not need to participate if they don’t want to. Can’t you just ring the school and ask? Surely it would be okay for them not to go up as long as they aren’t disruptive about it.

Paradyning · 12/02/2019 06:25

Weird? Aren't you a delight. Would you call other religious beliefs weird too? I don't know, like Judaism or Islam?
And the critical thinking comment is insulting.

AnguaResurgam · 12/02/2019 06:55

"it's them being dragged into something they have no belief in"

You, the parent, did the dragging by placing them in that school there were others available to you.

What squares that circle is not critical thinking, but hypocrisy.

Tell your DC that if they are not confident to sort it themselves, they take part because you chose this school tool and this is what happens there.

SquirmOfEels · 12/02/2019 07:05

"I wonder why the catholic school is the best school in the area?"

In this case, it'll be the ethos - OP says that the school's pupil body is predominantly non-Catholic. Some are like that, it's not all about hypocritical gaming of the system by church attendance. Some schools just have a mixed intake, and are oversubscribed simply because parents (who have used critical thing) accept the ethos as a key factor.

Though it is highly unusual to have 4 designated catchment schools (as opposed to having 4 within reach where you stand a chance of getting a place on distance). Usually it's one school per catchment, and the introduction of catchments is becoming much more common (usually to put local children above out-of-catchment siblings) though there are whole swathes of England (notable most of London) where there are no catchments)

UrsulaPandress · 12/02/2019 09:17

We really need an irony emoticon

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/02/2019 09:22

If they feel strongly about it, they need to not go up.

If they don't feel strongly enough about it, they go up and have it, and use their critical thinking skills about how weird it is to get through it.

They'll have to get through much weirder stuff than this to keep the peace in life.

BringMeTea · 12/02/2019 09:51

Is this an attention-seeking exercise OP? No need to do the Adam and the Ants Prince Charming dance. Just stay sat down. No one will wrestle them to the priest I assure you.

TheQueef · 12/02/2019 09:56

Prepared to take the benefits of religious Catholic education but object to being educated in a religious way.

It's you that is weird especially after RC school yourself.

AdobeWanKenobi · 12/02/2019 10:43

My DC's went to a Catholic Primary, also the best school in the area. I am Catholic but have no belief however, it's not for me to decide what my DC's believe.
I supported them throughout. We did the masses, DD even did communion (DS had decided by then that he wasn't sure of his beliefs and I firmly believe DD only did it for the dress).
By the end of primary both DC's had the choice to continue into a very good Catholic high or to go into a mainstream high. They both chose the latter.

Both adults neither have any belief, but that was their choice to make. You have chosen a faith school for your children and they need to integrate within that. You can't cherry pick what parts of the education provided you would like them to experience.

AdobeWanKenobi · 12/02/2019 10:44

Both adults now that should say

Racecardriver · 12/02/2019 10:48

No (also went to a catholic school as a non catholic so plenty of experience here). They can either say no thank you or just rub it off but crossing arms will just prompt a blessing.

Deadringer · 12/02/2019 11:26

Wow imagine a Catholic school expecting it's pupils to behave like Catholics, I suppose they will be poking their noses into the yearly chocolate celebration called Easter next, trying to make it all about religion. Ridiculous.

FlorencesHunger · 12/02/2019 11:58

I think just mentioning it to the school should be enough. My sn child freaked out and demanded they take it off her head straight away, they haven't done it to her since. I wasn't even aware of Ash wedsnday.

Raera · 12/02/2019 13:19

Simple choice when choosing a school.
On your knees or pay the fees.

SaturdayNext · 12/02/2019 13:33

Simple choice when choosing a school.
On your knees or pay the fees.

Not really, given that by law maintained schools and academies must allow parents to withdraw their children from religious observance. I never understand why people on MN think that expecting schools to obey the law is so outrageous.

SaturdayNext · 12/02/2019 13:35

WHich is more important? Your view on religion or your childrens education?

Pick one, because you cant have both

Yes you can. The law specifically provides for it.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 12/02/2019 13:41

You are so rude, I can only imagine what your “ critical thinking “ children are like
Don’t send them in that day if it’s too weird and you can all sit at home discussing the meaning of life

Fraying · 12/02/2019 13:45

Why are they (or you) worrying about Ash Wednesday a month in advance? Our RC schools aren't talking about ashes yet.
As for a pushy head wanting non-RC DCs to have Ashes - I don't believe that. Ultimately, no-one will care about what your DC do - except you and your DC. They won't be the only non-RC people in the school.