Being made to feel unwelcome

[sometimesalways]

I need some perspective please...

I had been having a difficult morning, first day of period so a bit in pain, a bit uncomfortable, and DS (who is 2 and a lovely boy) was being a bit of a handful. I know he did it cause he was bored. It's been raining and cold so we haven't been able to go out much yesterday and today and when this happens he gets a bit restless like toddlers do. DH was doing some DIY and chores so, I decided to go out to a nice neighbourhood cafe/bakery to get a coffee and milk for DS, hoping the change of scenery and trip there on his scooter will cheer him up. Which it did. He was the perfect child at the cafe, sipping his milk calmly. It was getting busy and we were sat at a 4-seat table, taking 2 seats (initially we were sharing with 2 more people but around mid stay they finished and left). My DH texts me he is done and coming to join us - it's a 5min walk from ours to the cafe.

At this point the cafe manager comes and tell me that we cannot keep the whole table and save the seat for DH as there are other 'paying customers' waiting for a seat. We were going to stay for lunch and 3 people taking a 4-seat table seems fair to me. but her remarks made me very upset and unwelcome and I said Ok, thank you, I understand. And stood up and left - no scene and I didn't shout or say anything really, although ppl clearly saw her talking to me and then me subsequently leaving so they must have understood something was up.

I felt embarrassed and awful. Bumped into DH almost as soon as we walked out, he was almost there. Now I feel quite emotional and that I don't want to go back ever again, which is a shame as it used to be my favourite neighbourhood cafe.

They didn't actually technically ask me to leave. And I understand that it's their right to have the policy, although how was I to know it? I just felt that I wasn't welcome to stay. I am a relatively regular customer too.

Were they right to tell me off? Even as they knew that DH was on his way and we were about to order lunch? (I had already asked for the lunch menu) I worry that I overreacted as I have been having a bad day, but was I completely on the wrong? would you go back?

I would be upset this and I think it was rude, especially as you had already ordered something and asked for the lunch menu. I would certainly take my business else where now.

Did you tell the cafe manager that you were waiting for your husband and the theee of you were having lunch?

Where I live, good spots have a 45-60 min waiting time at weekends for brunch, so I wouldn’t see what the manager did as unreasonable, if she wasn’t aware that you were waiting on the rest of your party.

Also, how long had you and your son been there before the manager spoke to you?

Thanks all for the thoughts. We were sat drinking a coffee and a milk for about 20mins to half an hour. I had asked for and was looking at the lunch menu and when the manager came to talk to me I mentioned to her that my husband is on his way to sit with us and he is literately 3 mins away. She said it didn't matter.

I know what you mean when you say that good places are popular and it was almost lunchtime - and it was a first come first served kind of place. I get that.

But I guess I felt is as if the 'paying customer' who just arrived was more valuable than my son and my imminently there DH and me - we were paying too. In pure maths actually we might have made a larger bill - there were three of us while the people waiting to claim the space were 2.

Literally, even
Oops sorry

She's a fool if you're staying to eat too - yes some people stay well over what's necessary just to be comfy at the expense of other customers which must be annoying but not if you're literally about to order

She was rude.

Unless your estimated half hour was actually longer and they were turning customers away because there were no free tables?

I wouldn't want to go back either.

That's ridiculous. I'd not go back there and write them a bad review if they are online anywhere. How rude!

Was it the manager that asked you to leave? Either way they've made an error, they've just lost at least 2 1/2 lunch covers. They can't guarantee the next people to walk in would order lunch.

Unless there were no other tables and there were people waiting they were out of order. I would probably let them know they've lost my ongoing custom.

I'd have been annoyed too if I'd already spent money there and was planning to spend more. They certainly wouldn't be getti g more money off me in the future.

Just leave a bad review for them on their Facebook page.

Just leave a bad review for them on their Facebook page.

If you are going to leave a review, then please just make it factual rather than bad.

Leave a factual review and explain how it made you feel

Ah @Modestandatinybitsexy good point. I am actually not 100% certain she was the manager, but I go there fairly often and she is usually there and looks like she is in charge. So I didn't check but she looks like the manager - or even owner. I was a bit taken aback and didn't quite check things or challenge her much. But I don't like making a fuss and would be too embarrassed to complain in front of other people. It's a fairly small place so people around would have heard everything.

But thank you to all for responding. It made me feel better!

I thought about writing a review too.. And yes, the right thing would be to stick to factual. I might do that actually

Yes, give them credit for what they do well (food, cleanliness, room etc) but regretfully knock off stars for being asked to leave.

Btw I checked the exact timings. I texted DH that we sat down at the cafe at 11.05am. He texted back that he can come to find us at 11.14am. Assuming he took 5-10mins to change and we saw him almost as soon as we stepped out, the incident must have happened around or before 11.30am

With the timetable you describe, I don’t think the lady was right at all in suggesting that you leave, especially since you told her that your husband was on the way and you were ordering lunch. Good Lord, if she had a problem with you, she’d absolutely hate my father-in-law. When he goes out to eat, he sticks around for at least an hour and a half.

Polar - the factual review of her experience will be bad I didn’t mean make up a bad one

There were two of you on a table for four, and another two customers who were waiting, so had they tried to sit at the table and you explained you were saving a place?

At this point the cafe manager comes and tell me that we cannot keep the whole table and save the seat for DH as there are other 'paying customers' waiting for a seat.

Was it that you were asked to leave, or was it that you were told you couldn't save the two empty seats while others were waiting to sit down?

Yep Facebook and Twitter say its your local and you dont feel welcome.

If you had your time again id have said ok will order for us all now and phoned dh for his order.

Were there people standing / waiting for a table to sit down at?

Post a review on TripAdvisor and Facebook, definitely. This was poor behaviour and very rude on their part.
Let us know what you write in your review!

@ScreamingValenta yes two people walked in and asked me if they could share our table while we had our drinks (towards the end) and I said sorry, my husband is on his way here. They were nice, didn't push at all. But I guess the manager noticed and it's probably what prompted it all.

Oh and yes to clarify, she never asked me to leave. She just told me that I couldn't save a seat and keep the whole table for my husband/our group, even if he was 2 mins away. I left after that cause I felt unwelcome. She said that I didn't have to leave - but I felt really awkward by then and also there wasn't space for DH there so we'd have to leave anyway when he arrived

I am still thinking about how to phrase a review! I am nervous as I don't want to come across as just angry and rude

@ZenNudist ooooh clever! Didn't even cross my mind to do that unfortunately