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Original poster

If you don't have a "career" are you happy/satisfied?

46 replies

Autotelic · 04/02/2019 17:45

I'm 34 and have only ever done admin / customer service jobs. I attempted to retrain a few years ago but had a major depressive episode after my first year, leading to me failing (it was a degree). I had a Year out to get better and could've returned but it would've meant repeating a big chunk and paying my own tuition fees (as opposed to loan) for a year which I couldn't afford to do.. so essentially I've given up that path.

In hindsight I don't think I would've made a good OT anyway (that's what I was training as) I just don't feel like I deal with stress well.

I'm up and down currently with my MH but mostly better. I work as a Receptionist at the moment. It's stress free (mostly) and I don't take any work home with me.

Part of me thinks I should continue with what I've been doing and that admin based roles are probably best for me, it's where my experience lies and it's easy. But I don't feel challenged enough and some days are extremely boring...

If you decided against a "career" are you happy/satisfied? Or if you retrained in your 30's what do you do now..?

OP posts:
IdblowJonSnow · 04/02/2019 17:49

No I'm not and at your age I'd really urge you to do something about it. Even if you don't do a degree you could look for more challenging jobs. I've done a lot of great things in my life but am in early 40s now and still don't have a career. I am ambitious and qualified - just not focused enough! I hope to rectify this this year. Good luck op!

ladybirdsaredotty · 04/02/2019 17:52

I'm late 30s, have a degree but not a 'career'. I'm a support worker which is actually more skilled than it sounds but I'm looking to train for a career soon. I tried adult nursing years ago but it wasn't for me. Not entirely sure what to do now...

marvellousnightforamooncup · 04/02/2019 17:59

I'm mid 40s and redundancy, house move and children along with a niche career messed my career up totally. I'm going back to retrain if I can get on the course I want. 🤞

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Jumppys · 04/02/2019 18:06

This is something I've always battled with. I went to uni and did a HND, but in hindsight, it's not worth the paper it's written on.

Had a huge break and had multiple DC.

Went back to work, dabbled in a few admin/care/basic retail jobs and have now ended up as a TA (got my level 3 in childcare recently).

On the whole I love it. It fits perfectly into family life, school holidays off, I'm home before 4pm with my own DC, once I leave work at the end of the day, I don't have to think about it til the next day.

I also struggle with MH. Bad anxiety and I don't cope well with stress. I have low confidence and self esteem etc.

On the whole, I feel contented enough and I love how family orientated the job is. However, every now and again, the lack of career does rattle me. I feel I'm heading towards 40 and still earning minimum wage is just really crap. I swing between the two vast feelings often.

Sorry, I don't have an answer!

SnowDuvetDay · 04/02/2019 18:06

I’m in my late 40s now & bitterly regret not having a career.
I got good O & A levels but married very young. I did get a very good job when I was 18 with fantastic opportunities but my DH went to Uni as a mature student. I got a job in the Uni town to support him.
He never used his degree Angry.
He had his own business & I had our DC.
I did paperwork for him etc.
We were divorced last week. Our DC have left home & I have zero income.
I’m not sure which way to turn & I am currently considering applying for warehouse positions . I am not qualified for anything & hate it. I wish I’d pursued a career.
My new DP has very high flying friends & I feel inferior (they don’t make me feel like this but I do).

chocolatespiders · 04/02/2019 18:12

I am currently not happy in my housing job after leaving the NHS after 19 years.

I regret not having a career in midwifery but I know that I would have struggled academically so not sure there was much I could have done about that. But maybe would have coped better when it was diploma and not degree.

EvaHarknessRose · 04/02/2019 18:14

Well, I have plenty of trained OT friends who have left work with stress, to do jobs like yours, and most of my colleagues of other professions (myself included) are struggling. So I think you may have made a good choice vis a vis not working as a hcp.

Why not aim to work sustainably, improving your skills where you can and choosing to work in places you want to. Just don’t let anxiety stop you from seeking change or promotion.

SnuggyBuggy · 04/02/2019 18:15

I'm not really happy with not having a career and yet I'm not sure having a career would make me happy if that makes sense. I dont enjoy work but don't know what would make me enjoy it more.

AnotherEmma · 04/02/2019 18:19

I don't have a career and I'm not happy about it.
I was a high achiever in school and went to a top university. I feel that I'm wasting my potential and it's depressing.
My problem is that I don't know what to do with myself! I need to do some high level training or qualification but don't want to commit to spending the time and money without being reasonably sure it's the right choice.
Argh!

StyleOfTheTimes · 04/02/2019 18:24

I’m nearly 30 and don’t have a career. I work in pharmacy but not as a pharmacist. I’m happy with my job as I enjoy it but I do find it stressful and a lot of responsibility. I often go home worrying about work and I’m so glad I’m on maternity leave at the moment and don’t have to worry about work. I think as long as your enjoying your job, have good relationships with co workers and are generally happy then that’s all that matters. A career isn’t the be all and end all.

boringlyboring · 04/02/2019 18:25

I’m nearly 30 so not quite the age you’re asking about! but I don’t have a career. I’m happy with that. There are other things in my/mine and dps life that could improve but a career wouldn’t have had an impact on that side if things at all (health related for e.g)

I’ve reduced my hours recently also, which has improved my quality of life overall, I have more time to look after my nan, that sort of thing.

Mine and dp’s main goal in the recent years was to buy a house, which we did. We’re now settled and ready to start a family when the time comes. I’m/we’re comfortable with life.

I may change my mind later in life, but I’ve always seen a job as a means to an end and not much more. The money I get pays for what I want and I’m happy with that.

OldJoseph · 04/02/2019 18:25

Despite a good degree I have only had jobs rather than a career, they have been jobs where a degree is expected but a career isn't offered if that makes sense?

Would have loved a career and wish I'd properly planned something when I was younger., but I really didn't think I'd pass anything so couldn't plan in any conventional way. After my degree I applied for loads of jobs, with prospects, but didn't get any of them. So it was confidence knock after confidence knock until I eventually did get a job. I've always worked hard at my work, but have had very little recognition.
Lots on MN talk about their careers and am v. jealous of them.

Would love to have been head hunted....

SnuggyBuggy · 04/02/2019 18:34

@AnotherEmma, I think that was my problem, when I graduated I was very clueless and anxious and the thought of spending a load of time and money on something that may not have helped or committing myself to something I ended up hating scared me.

Original poster
Autotelic · 04/02/2019 18:36

I'm not sure if it would've helped to really "know" what I wanted to do at an early age.. problem is I have never known what I've wanted to do! I've taken various online personality / career matching tests and almost every time they point to a healthcare career.
I seriously lack confidence and self belief. I think you at least need self belief to succeed in a career job.
There's also a niggling sense that I'm too old now to change anything. But since I won't be retiring til I'm in my 70's I suppose I have plenty of time.. I also worry if employers are going to soon start seeing me as old, though.
I live with DP and sometimes wonder if he's disappointed in me. We don't have kids and don't plan to have them, so in theory I've got all the time in the world to sort this out.

OP posts:
ladybirdsaredotty · 04/02/2019 18:56

To add, I've spent the last 8 years having 3 children so have worked in my job part time as it fits around them (my DP can work flexibly so we don't need childcare, we work around each other). I know how lucky I am to have this setup but we really need more money now. Like others, I was a high achiever at school and I do feel like I could have achieved more by now. It's tricky.

Sleepyquest · 04/02/2019 18:59

I have a career but I don't really enjoy it! However if I didn't have it, I'd always have felt like I didn't do enough

letsdolunch321 · 04/02/2019 19:06

Firstly OP does your monthly salary pay the bills and allow you to have a few quid over a month for you & do to have a night out?

I am a receptionist/administrator and have been for 36yrs. I have enough money each month to pay the bills and come home mostly stress free not worrying about what tomorrow will bring.

My advice is do not put big demands on yourself as long as you are happy that is all that matters.

littlemeitslyn · 04/02/2019 19:53

I worked and qualified in Social Care in my 40's don't regret a second ( am 70 on Friday)😀

Original poster
Autotelic · 04/02/2019 20:00

Thanks all, good for thought

@letsdolunch321 I live with DP and we share the mortgage, bills, so I have more money left now than if I lived alone. Even if I did live alone I'd have money left for a few small trips away each year (I love travelling) it would be a simple life but that's what I'm happy with. Maybe I really should stop being so demanding of myself. I feel like I'm constantly beating myself up lately, especially the older I get...

OP posts:
Original poster
Autotelic · 04/02/2019 20:01

*food for thought

OP posts:
Uncooperativefingers · 04/02/2019 20:04

I have a career and some days are still really boring!

AverageHuman · 04/02/2019 20:06

Career isn’t everything. Sadly with our capitalist culture we are trained to think it is.

Perhaps a new hobby you’ve always wanted to take up, or volunteering, might make you feel more fulfille and might even open doors.

letsdolunch321 · 04/02/2019 20:07

Autotelic - it is up to you, we all have dreams. Good that you get away and the simple life is the best. No drama that way.

AverageHuman · 04/02/2019 20:09

Maybe a little paid side project you could take on that could grow. Or even a receptionist role somewhere more exciting.

Also though I really think if you want to change jobs then just go for it. You can easily come back to admin. Ask people you know how they started in careers you admire. You don’t have to take up expensive studies for a new career.

AverageHuman · 04/02/2019 20:11

You seem to have a good handle or what you can and can’t manage. Push a little out of your comfort zone but just not waaaay out :-)

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