If you don't have a "career" are you happy/satisfied?

[Autotelic]

I'm 34 and have only ever done admin / customer service jobs. I attempted to retrain a few years ago but had a major depressive episode after my first year, leading to me failing (it was a degree). I had a Year out to get better and could've returned but it would've meant repeating a big chunk and paying my own tuition fees (as opposed to loan) for a year which I couldn't afford to do.. so essentially I've given up that path.

In hindsight I don't think I would've made a good OT anyway (that's what I was training as) I just don't feel like I deal with stress well.

I'm up and down currently with my MH but mostly better. I work as a Receptionist at the moment. It's stress free (mostly) and I don't take any work home with me.

Part of me thinks I should continue with what I've been doing and that admin based roles are probably best for me, it's where my experience lies and it's easy. But I don't feel challenged enough and some days are extremely boring...

If you decided against a "career" are you happy/satisfied? Or if you retrained in your 30's what do you do now..?

I'm 48. I have a degree and a teacher training qualification which I haven't used for 16 years (dc).

I'm
About to return to study to do my TESOL Qualification, so I can help at my church anti-poverty project which is paying out loads for English classes for refugees. I've spent a few years working in basic literacy classes (English and maths).

At 48 I don't think I'm too late to retrain. I've got 20 years of work ahead of me!

It depends what you class as the difference between a 'job' and a 'career'. There are many jobs that require certain in depth training and qualifications - but if you stay at the same level in that job for 40 years and don't climb the ladder (your choice) is it a 'career'?
I had only a few vague ideas of what I wanted to 'do' with my life but no help, advice, support etc to venture that way. Wandered into almost two miserable decades in retail and currently a sahm. I will need to venture back to paid work at sometime but I don't know if it would be something classed as a career or not. I want something - just 'more' really. Something that seems useful and helpful and part of the community I am in.
So I don't really regret having a career - I regret not having more confidence in finding out who I am and where my skills lie.

I’m 33 and have one dc 14m and am pregnant with dc2. I had a career until about aged 30 when I had to give it up for health reasons. Got an admin job at a uni and have been doing that for 3 years, but will prob be a SAHM for a few years now, then I’ll try to get a similar admin job. I’ll prob coast along in that until my kids are a bit older.

When I had my career I was always consumed , stressed .... I enjoyed it and I earned well but i could never switch off and I see now that it would not have been compatible with family life. I am really enjoying leaving work at 5pm with no worries, I have some responsibility but not for anything stressful, I work in a lovely team and my admin work is pretty varied and well paid as it goes.

I really don’t miss my career... no intention of going back. If anythinh I’ll try and work my way up the admin/management ladder at the uni (but not for a while). I’m enjoying being boring right now !

I’m the opposite - I have a career and I hate it. I work long hours constantly have to bring work home and always feel as though my kids come second best. I would love a job that I didn’t bring home with me and didn’t cause me extra stress in my ‘free’ time. I don’t feel fulfilled by my job at all as I just feel I’m missing out on my kids

I have a degree and a job using that qualification which i like ok, but not a career. I've no interest in being a people manager, which is the only real progression at my work at the moment.

Also the hours/ pay suit the family at the moment.

I'm doing a self study course at the moment in an attempt to see if my brain still works...

I have a degree and a masters but came out of qualifying to find there were no jobs in my chosen career. I got a decent job but then fell pregnant and my dc are still young. There is possibly some potential for a career in the job I do, but I don't feel the sector I work in is a good fit for me and i don't feel very confident in my work place.

My work life is one area of my life I don't feel content with. It works well for now but I don't feel fulfilled in this area of my life at all and envy those who do have careers. When my dc are older I will persue something else and if I didn't have young dc, I would have by now.

I don't know the answer OP but following a I'm also in my 30s with 2 dc wondering WTF happened to the excitement and ambition I had at 16.

I've never settled at anything and I hate it. I don't think I'd need a high flying career or anything but I do wish I was professionally qualified and had some decent experience. I don't feel like a "real grown up", I feel like a massive fraud. All of my friends finished university and it makes me feel shit that I didn't. Even though I know why now (invisible learning issue) it still doesn't really help.

I don’t and I’m not. I’d like to be financially independent.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do, bumbled along for years, had children and became a SAHM, and now I’m too old to do anything different and couldn’t get anything other than a minimum wage job. I feel I’ve wasted my life. I was the high achiever in my year at school.

I started to retrain aged 31 and now have a career I love.

I’d be bored going home at 5pm every day.

I did get into a lot £13k+ of debt and more in lost income to do this but I’ll make that up long term.

If you have no dcs I don’t see what you can’t retrain. You could study full time/ work part time or work full time/ study part time.

If all I had was a monotonous ‘job’ I think I’d have serious mental health problems. My career is such an important part of my identity and self esteem.

We have no money, no mortgage, no car, no kids. No stress! I have various jobs, none of which add up to a career, but friends who are lawyers & accountants & engineers & bankers always say “OMG you’re life is so exciting!”.
We’ve struggled, no doubt, but both of us are on the bohemian side & have never done any of the things you’re supposed to do. I did get a lecture from another friend, recently, about our lifestyle... Not everyone is a permanent & pensionable!
Yes, I do get pissed off with work & want something more meaningful at times. But we’re happy! I think I’m a person who enjoys a simple life.

Your, obvs...

40 and 2 amazing degrees but didnt really understand about careers. MH issues too.

Finding it really anxiety inducing at the moment. I was really clever and feel I missed the boat.

I used to teach but thays really not me. My OT friends seem to have amazing work/life balance, part time, positive mental health workplace etc .

I retrained in my 30s. My DC were only small at the time (3&5 when I started, 7&9 when I qualified) and I had to sit a lot of difficult professional exams (so I was studying on top of working FT). I don’t regret it at all. Ten years on I have a well-paid, interesting career which I’m very good at and (mostly) only work office hours. I feel very lucky to have ended up here.

I'm 29 next month and not having a career or a skilled job makes me feel inadequate every single day.

@OublietteBravo what do you do now???

@AverageHuman - I’m a patent attorney (dual qualified - European and U.K.). I work in-house for a large multinational. My job is to protect their innovations (and make sure that their new products don’t infringe anyone else’s intellectual property).

I've never had a career, was always admin until I met DH. Now I work in our business and act as manager and receptionist.

With your own business you literally never, ever switch off because the buck stops with you. I'd quite like to be employed by someone else at some point!

The best job I've ever had was as an auctioneer's secretary. That was really interesting, quite creative, the pay was ok and there was no after hours stress.

I had similar - stayed back partly because the career ladder didn't help my mental health and also tbh I didn't find anything about it interesting.

I agree that the less senior jobs can be boring but my feeling was that the higher level the job, the higher the stress AND the boredom and it was a terrible and toxic combination.

I'm 43 and I don't regret having taken a more relaxed approach to career because of all this. I might have felt differently if I didn't live in London, but here, the extra salary would have been pretty unhelpful in buying a bigger flat anyway. I'm hoping to retire by 50 but I try to live on a very low budget and do things like cut my own hair etc.

I should add, I felt inadequate etc till I was about 40, at which point I just thought, fuck it, I made the best decision for me and it doesn't matter what others think. I also don't have husband or children so people are generally baffled but with anxiety and depression, I think I've done the best I can and I want to get some enjoyment out of life and not stress about work outside work hours.

No degree here. Late 40s.

I've always more-or-less enjoyed working and all the jobs I've had. None of them have ever led to anything mind-blowing in terms of being anything that anyone particularly aspires to.

Been in my current job for 7 years. Absolutely love it. It's interesting, stimulating and varied, I love all my colleagues. I only work term times, which is fab.

There's no career progression at all, and it doesn't pay very well, and at some point I might have to look at doing something different (if it gets to a point where we can't pay the bills), but I'm going to hold onto it for as long as possible because it gives me extreme job satisfaction and the work/life balance is fab.

I’m an hcp so have a degree and a career..... I’m so overwhelmingly stressed at the moment I dream of a job that doesn’t come home with me or keep me up at night. I suppose the grass is always greener though. I don’t know what the right answer is but I do know that you made the right choice in not pursuing a career that meant work in the NHS.