Can’t drive but family needs car - how much should I pay towards it?

[Jeffjefftyjeff]

Any advice welcome.
I don’t drive and pay weekly bus pass. DP has car and drives 50 mile round trip to work every day. We need a car for ferrying DS about (football mainly, he walks a lot of places) and shopping etc. (Very) Occasionally DP gives me lifts too. I am happy to pay a proportion of it but how do we best calculate how much?

Other info in case relevant: we have separate bank accounts but put funds for household expenses in joint account based on proportion of our income. Currently all of car cones out of DPs personal account. I earn more than DP. He likes gas guzzling cars (but is willing to get cheap run around instead).

Well put the expense of the car + your bus pass and you pay your proportion each based on your income?

Well you benefit from shopping surely and from your son's activities - so half !!

Half
Maybe the bus pass , and car should come out of joint finances ?

Is dS the child of both of you ?

If so, I’d get a cheap run around and put all travel through the joint accounts - car expenses and your bus pass. And your driving lesssons, Not fair to leave all the running around to your partner. And it wouldnt be fair of him to hog the joint car.

It all depends how much the car costs to run/maintain in the first place. Is it owned or on finance? How much does it cost in fuel each week?

DH works and I receive tax credits etc. He pays the car finance and I pay the tax, insurance and fuel costs. We haven't had to pay for MOT or repairs yet as it was new when we bought it but those costs will be shared depending on what money we each have at the time.

Half would be fair assuming your child is both of yours.

I'd also learn to drive, it's hard being the sole driver in a relationship putting the burden on one person all the time.

It’s a household expense surely?

We’re in a similar position - I don’t drive but DH does and the car is used for all family running around. We also have separate accounts that our wages go into and then a joint one for the household expenses (mortgage, bills, food shop etc etc) that we both pay a monthly standing order into. We add the car expenses in with all the other family expenses. Then we divide the total family expenses according to our respective incomes - so because he earns 20% more than me he pays 20% more of the total household costs me. Hope that makes sense!!

I agree with half. It's a benefit for all of you after all.

I think you also need to consider that your do will then end up having to do all the driving that benefits both of you (shopping, DC activities etc) Even if you choose to go, he does not have that choice.
So I think half is fair.

Half. Will you be learning to drive as well?

It needs to be put into the household pot along with your bus pass with the same proportion paid into it as all other bills.
If it is being used to get your DP to work and to take your DS to activities it is a family expense.

It's a household expense. It comes out of joint money. You contribute to joint pot as a proportion of what you earn.

So this is basically your DP's car that he uses for commuting and you and your DS benefit from having a car in the family at the weekends - yes? If so that is the case and you don't benefit from the car from Mon-Fri, but you do on Sat-Sun, when you should contribute 2/7 of the cost - or thereabouts. As you pay for your own bus pass then you shouldn't feel like you have to contribute to your DP's commuting costs.

Half. You're getting direct and indirect benefit from it. You can also learn to drive and use it.

We have two cars and we pay for them individually - and I pay for my rail ticket to work individually.

Yes DS is both of ours. Currently doesn’t need lifts much (once a week?) but he is 12 so this will increase. Going halves sounds sensible. This has reminded me that when DP was SAHD I paid for it all. DP would have to sell his current car first though, it is insanely expensive to run (but looks pretty and goes fast).

I have had (many many) driving lessons but always paid for them myself. Not sure I would expect DP to contribute costs towards my ineptitude!

I think both the car and the bus pass should come from your joint account. But you should have input on the type of car.

When you go somewhere together does DH drive there and you take public transport and meet him there?

If not, then just because you can’t drive, doesn’t mean it’s not something you ‘use’or benefit from.

It’s a shared family expense surely, same as your bus pass.

Think you should agree on the car choice though as it needs to be a VFM choice

you don't benefit from the car from Mon-Fri, but you do on Sat-Sun, when you should contribute 2/7 of the cost

Do people really do this?

We just pay what needs paid and don't get too wound up about things.

But don’t pay for all his commuting petrol etc.

And if you do pay half, you get 50% say in what the car is!

This is a weird way of thinking! I understand personal accounts but this level of division of money seems nuts. Especially when you have a child together.

This has reminded me that when DP was SAHD I paid for it all
Presumably he was using it to drive your DS about though so this is entirely appropriate for you to have done so.

Both the car and your lessons should be a joint household expense!

Definitely joint as it's a household asset. However, if the majority of the driving is done by DH for work, he presumably pays for fuel, tax and insurance just as you pay for your bus pass. I agree with getting an cheaper runaround and you should think about learning to drive, if possible.

Do people really do this?

Well, if they keep their own finances separate, then yes. Personally, we have one pot that everything goes into and comes out of, but a lot of people don't. Seeing as the OP pays for her own bus pass I don't really see why she should pay for her DH's fancy, petrol-guzzling car that he uses to commute to work.