Can’t drive but family needs car - how much should I pay towards it?

[Jeffjefftyjeff]

Any advice welcome.
I don’t drive and pay weekly bus pass. DP has car and drives 50 mile round trip to work every day. We need a car for ferrying DS about (football mainly, he walks a lot of places) and shopping etc. (Very) Occasionally DP gives me lifts too. I am happy to pay a proportion of it but how do we best calculate how much?

Other info in case relevant: we have separate bank accounts but put funds for household expenses in joint account based on proportion of our income. Currently all of car cones out of DPs personal account. I earn more than DP. He likes gas guzzling cars (but is willing to get cheap run around instead).

I'd be exhausted having to do all this working of expenditure all the time.

I don’t drive, but paid half for our car, I benefit from it just as much as DH. He still calls it “my car” though.

Each of you increase the amount you put into joint funds proportionately to your income, then pay for the car and the bus pass out of that.

This makes me really happy that dh and I have joint finances.

It’s an unavoidable household expense. You earn more so should pay a bit more in proportion to the ratio of your salaries.

The car and bus pass should come out of joint money.

You split the cost of a basic car and your bus costs in half. If dp wants a better car, he pays the extra associated costs.

Should have said, if it’s a joint expense, you should both be involved in choosing it.

Goodness, my poor non-driving mother must owe my dad a fortune...

Just pool your money in a joint account, much simpler all round.

I find it really interesting that a couple can be together for at least 13 years, have a child together, and need views from strangers about who should pay more for the family car.

At the very minimum the car and your bus pass should be paid from the household account using the same formula you usually use.

But do consider whether you can pool your finances. You are a family, a team, and you each make a contribution to that be it driving, cooking, childcare. Finance doesn't need to be any different.

Just put all of your money (both of you) into a joint account and pay everything you need out of it.
I really don't get this "I earn the most and will therefore spend it all on myself" attitude when you have a family.

It's surely a household expense? You never go in it to the airport, for holidays, day trips, hospital/doctor/dentist appointments? The car is there to benefit the whole family so imo you should pay half.

Half, provided he buys a more economical car to run, and less your bus travel costs for you and your son. You shouldn't have to pay half AND 100% of your bus travel costs.

We actually have the same system as OP - our own account and a pooled account for bills - and it works fine. If there is a bigger expense, like car or holiday, we just both transfer the same amount of money to the joint account (unless one of us is currently earning much less than the other). We usually both earn about the same. If we just had one account I would probably resent paying for DH’s expensive bikes etc and also feel I had to watch how many coffees and lunches out I was having.

I'd look at it as transport needs for work, just like your bus pass

Cost of your weekly bus pass + car costs should both come out of joint account. They're both unavoidable expenses for getting to work and making money for the family.

Both the car and the bus pass are a household expense so should be divided accordingly.

I would also carry on with your driving lessons if you have had loads as it would be a shame not to and to waste that previous learning, could your DP insure you on his car for extra practice if he got a cheaper runaround.

It's a household expense so you should go half each
At the end of the day, you are benefiting as you're benefiting from the 2nd income and the ability for DC to go places. Your bus passes should also come out of the joint pot.

I agree you should keep up with the driving lessons. It took me ages to learn, and I didn't pass my test until the 4th attempt (I could drive, but just went to pieces on test day), but I'm so glad that I persevered with it. Even in the years when I didn't have my own car it was useful to be able to drive DH's.

*WhentheDealGoesDown

Both the car and the bus pass are a household expense so should be divided accordingly.

I would also carry on with your driving lessons if you have had loads as it would be a shame not to and to waste that previous learning, could your DP insure you on his car for extra practice if he got a cheaper runaround.*

I second the above, both buss and car are a household expense.

Keep up the driving lessons, if you can get insured do, then you can practice at your convenience.

Car plus bus pass is travel costs and those should be shared according to the same model as the rest of the expenses.

If the roles were reversed and the OP had come on here as a higher earning DH instead of DW refusing to pay the cost of the family car that’s used to ferry their son around I think they’d would have had their arse handed to them . Double standards sometimes here ....

If the roles were reversed and the OP had come on here as a higher earning DH instead of DW refusing to pay the cost of the family car that’s used to ferry their son around I think they’d would have had their arse handed to them . Double standards sometimes here ....

I completely agree.

I agree gamer. But some posters on MN dislike that being pointed out (often citing that you would never get a like for like situation when sexes are reversed).

Shared expenses come out of shared money.

Personally i think the fairest way would be car+ bus pass decide by 2 i am the lower earner here so i would possibly want it decided by 3 in my circumstance but to be honest although we have seperate bank accounts if dh needed something and I had it he would have it and vice versa so really were joint pot

You will benefit hugely from the car. It is a family car and should be paid for like any other family expense in my opinion. However you split the broadband or council tax whether that’s 50-50 or a proportion based on income.

I think it’s disingenuous to say you get to work on the bus so it is your partner’s car. It will be used for your son’s hobbies and shopping as you say but also family trips, weekend and school holiday activities and holidays, appointments, emergencies.

I don't drive. DH does. I earn more than him. We treat all car expenses the same as we do all other household expenses - we pay into a joint account that covers all household expenses in proportion to our household income. So although I don't drive I pay more. But I benefit hugely from the car, as do our two children.