Advice, unwanted pet

[Menstruatrawring]

I know this will get me flamed to some extent. But I need advice I land I’m asking in the hope there is some advice between the flames.

My children were bought a pet kitten, off gumtree of all places. Obviously the surprise of it, brought into the house with a load of bits and shown it was hard to then say ‘no’ in front of them. I was pissed off to put it mildly. But I’ve really tried to make it work over the last 3 months. Gumtree woman I wouldn’t think would have him back, and the person who gave him didn’t want him. I was blindsided tbh, in hindsight maybe an instant foot down should have been my response

He was at my guess a bit too young, he’s been hard work. He’s trashed so much, we can’t alarm the house (I’m paranoid as we’ve been burgled a few times) and he’s not great with having a toddler. I’m constantly controlling positive interaction with a child too young. He’s also got an annoying personality. I sound horrible, but before we had a mild mannered stray way. This one lives to trip you, he’s constantly into everything and mess making. It makes me stressed on top of four under 8, I don’t need the extra work. He’s causing arguments. I don’t have a clue what to do with him in the summer and he’s not a financial obligation I need right now. We live on a busy road too and I don’t want to let him out.

What’s done is done to an extent. No point dissecting it, but what would people do for a way forward? Wait to calm into an adult? Re-home whilst young? Can it be done in a positive way? I’m not wanting to through him out on his ear, but it is something I’m wondering if it’s best.

I feel like a right cow now wanting this cat, but I’ve honestly been trying to like it. Kids adore him but are too young for responsibility and one is not great poking etc and I’m constantly watching. It’s stressful

Who brought it into the house ?

Non-immediate family member visiting from elsewhere, a pre-Christmas surprise tagged into a visit. Not someone we see that often, but who buys biggest presents

How old is the kitten? Is it a moggy or a breed?

Perhaps it would be best all around if he was rehomed. You could see if the Cats Protection can take him.

I'm a cat rescue volunteer and yes I think you should rehome responsibly through a charity, the sooner the better really as it will be easier to find him a new home when he is young and it sounds like the situation is not ideal for the cat or the humans currently.

Has he been neutered? That would calm him down a bit. But in general kittens, especially single kittens, are hard work. That's why rescues usually recommend having two kittens - they will wear each other out playing and won't be so destructive and demanding of your time.

You can find a list of charities on this website, please, please only rehome him through a charity, not through Gumtree or social media as not only he can end up in the wrong home that way (again), people also source animals for bait for dog fighting that way. www.catchat.org/index.php/cat-rescue-centres-uk-ireland

Rescues sometimes have waiting lists but this time of year is pretty much the most quiet time so if you contact a few, hopefully it shouldn't be too difficult.

Have you contacted any animal shelters ?

as hes only young get in touch with local rescues at this time of year waiting lists for kittens are very short and a house with 4 children under 8 is quite stressful to a young cat especially as you didnt pick him so didnt have that love rush that made you pick him in the first place,

Xposted

I presume a moggy, grey tabby of standard proportions. Vet made no comment.

Approx 5 months old, no extract day came with it. I’d guess younger than weeks of age stated

Mayhew animal home in west london is fab.

Our kitten was insane. He is 1 now and basically just lies by the fire.

It's not ideal to keep them in though. Could he go out the back?

I’ve contacted no one so far, this is a thinking out loud thread.

He’s very very pretty as cats go.

definitely contact rescues at 5 months he will be very rehomeable and a tabby to boot everyone loves tabbies

Just for assurance, despite not enjoying him I certainly would not Facebook/ gumtree an animal or cast him out etc.

This is a post about how to handle it as positively as possible

I do agree that once neutered and after about a year a lot of the kitten like behaviour will have dissipated.

This happened to me, kitten off a crazy cat lady with about 30 cats, no exaggeration. I should have run out of there but wanted to “rescue” the kitten from her. Friendly but flea ridden and the most oddly behave cat I’d ever encountered, and my first cat was a stray kitten brought in from the streets.

Unfortunately I did have to rehome her, it was unbearable :( we live in a gardenless house and she would not go outside. Hated DD, would only come out once she was in bed, sprayed everywhere, pooed and weed everywhere despite many many attempts to prevent it. Once I found out I was pregnant a couple of months later she just had to go, but I rehomed her properly and kept in touch with the new owner for a while.

You do need to do what suits your family but if you have put up with it for this long and the children love him I would really try and hold out for him to mature, they act so differently to kittens. Like toddlers vs adults really!

I have had a number of puppies and thought I knew about baby animals, and then I got a kitten. It was living hell. At least puppies stay at floor level... But the kitten phase wasn't that long really (although it felt like it at the time) and he grew into a normal, placid cat. I think you should try to rehome him if you can, but if you can manage to wait it out, it will get better.

I'd get the person who "gifted" it to you to sort it out.

What sort of idiot brings a pet into a family without discussing it with them first.... seriously.

It's really cruel to keep a cat indoors, OP, rehome it via a good charity and give it the life it deserves. And ban that relative from ever entering your house again. What an irresponsible thing to do.

Can you tell us roughly whereabouts in the country you are? I agree that the kindest thing to do would be to re-home him. Have a look or post on the Litter Tray page on here too - somebody on there was looking for a kitten the other day.

I disagree about getting the person who bought it to sort it, this person sounds very irresponsible.

I would start by asking around local family and friends and see if anyone can help? All my in-laws cats are cats from family or friends who had changes in circumstances (they have 3)

If not then try the charities.

Ok contact cats protection if they do not have space ask them if they can put kitten on their waiting list, also contact their rehoming centre near you they will be able to put kitten on waiting list and it does not take more than a few weeks to take kitten in.

Cats Protection League. In hindsight, yes, you should have said no, but you can’t go back in time so deal with the situation now as best you can.

If you're in London The Celia Hammond Animal Trust (Canning Town Branch) can help. We actually have a bit of kennel space for the first time in years (until kitten season gets going in a few weeks time).

If you're not in London you can find rescues near you on www.catchat.org

To be clear,OP, I'm saying you should rehome him through a rescue.

This situation is of course not your fault, but you do have a spectacularly thoughtless and irresponsible relative.

You can't keep the cat. Has he been neutered, vaccinated, chipped, flea and worm treated? I'm guessing not.

If you live on a busy road you shouldn't have a cat at all, unless you are prepared to properly net all the windows and never leave any doors open (with four children that will be impossible), or you are able to cat proof your back garden (which is not easy and very expensive). Plus, the cat needs to be one that is happy as an indoor cat - and a very young cat, on it's own, is very unlikely to be happy.

You also shouldn't have a cat if you have children who are rough with it. If you really wanted to have a cat a rescue might be able to find you a cat that doesn't want to go out and that is extremely laid back around children - but you don't want a cat.

Then of course there's the expense. If you don't get insurance then vets bills can run into thousands ....

The good news is that this is probably the best time of year for rehoming - before the kitten season gets going properly in a few weeks time. So use that list of rescues above and find him a place.

And of course make sure you have a proper cat carrier, and not a cardboard box, to take him to wherever he ends up.

To all the posters above saying the OP should hold on and it will get better - have you missed the bit where she says she lives on a busy road? She won't be able to keep the cat in. Young cats are the worst for road sense. It will end up squashed before the year is out.