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Original poster

Do you wake up your teens?

43 replies

Canshopwillshop · 02/02/2019 17:28

My DC’s are 14 and 12 and I always go in to wake them up on school days. They aren’t allowed their phones in their rooms at night and don’t have alarm clocks. I was interested in some comments on another thread which suggested that this sort of behaviour was pandering and not teaching independence. They are independent in lots of other ways but wonder if I should be encouraging them to wake up/get up themselves?

OP posts:
GertrudeWilloughby · 02/02/2019 17:31

Err... yes.

From a lot younger than they are now! I used to have to get myself up, it teaches timekeeping and responsibility.

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2019 17:33

Why don't they have alarm clocks?

Anyway, no I don't wake my teens. They set their own alarms and get themselves up.

Just as well considering my 16yr old plays rugby, so has to be up about 6.30 on Saturday mornings.

Blueisblue2 · 02/02/2019 17:34

My dc are the same age and I was wondering exactly the same. It takes them a good 20 mins to get out of bed and they only do when I turn on their lights and remove the duvets (same routine every day)! It drives me. We do try an alarm but they just turn it off. I think they are much too pandered to in general actually.

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Families
14allall41 · 02/02/2019 17:34

Well I have 4 dc, but only 2 at school now. Dc3 is 15 and she sorts herself out. Dc4 is 12 and I have to wake her up about 4 times on school days! When their older brothers were at school - used to have to wake dc2, but dc1 got himself up and ready.

junebirthdaygirl · 02/02/2019 17:36

I wouldn't worry that you haven't started. My df called me and all my family every morn until we left home!! Very independent bunch. Never late for a thing in our lives. Totally reliable and responsible. In fact l read somewhere in a parenting book that if you call children you are saying l'm the parent and for teen years that gives them the message you're in charge. Do it whenever it suits you.

TheLostTargaryen · 02/02/2019 17:36

DD (12) gets herself up using the alarm on her iPhone which she is allowed to keep in her room with the agreement that it's not near her bed and she's not allowed on it overnight. It was never supposed to be her getting herself up but from day one of high school (and the last year or two of primary) she's been very independent.
She likes the peace and quiet for an hour before everyone else gets up. She also wakes her siblings up (9 & 6) saving me a job.

I think it's time to buy your kids alarm clocks and just be there to yell them out of bed when they're in danger of being late after too many snoozes.

Original poster
Canshopwillshop · 02/02/2019 17:37

Worral - we just don’t own any alarm clocks. I use my phone as an alarm and never really thought twice about waking the kids until recently. As I said, they are independent in lots of other ways and generally good at timekeeping at other times - leaving on time for school, sporting activities etc.

OP posts:
LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 02/02/2019 17:37

of course! if left to his own devices he'd still be in bed right now!

Sharpandshineyteeth · 02/02/2019 17:38

My teens, 14 and 15 have become nightmares. They will leave it to last minute and then literally get dressed and go. No breakfast, no washing or teeth brushing.

I have left them once to walk because they weren’t in the car by 8am. I might start refusing to take them if they haven’t had a wash. But then part of me thinks it’s my responsibility to get them to school and on time. It’s sooooo hard.

Eggstatic · 02/02/2019 17:38

I let DD have her phone in her room, she sets an alarm on it but I always come in and check that she's getting up. I think letting them have their phone in their room at night may teach responsibility, knowing when to turn it off and go to sleep but i understand you may not agree. Maybe get them alarm clocks and just go in to check they're awake, I know if I didn't with DD she'd probably go back to sleep

GalacticChickenShit · 02/02/2019 17:39

My kids are 10 and almost 14 and yes i still get them up in the morning. And talk them through every bloody step of what needs to be done.

Jaxtellerswife · 02/02/2019 17:39

SS has an alarm that goes ignored. If I didn't get him up he wouldn't be going anywhere.

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2019 17:41

My 16yr old gets up at 7.50 and is out the door by 8.30

19yr old is at Uni now and 27yr old is obviously working but they all got themselves up from when they started senior school.

They're all really good timekeepers too but then so am I and DH. Lateness has always been a bugbear of ours.

ssd · 02/02/2019 17:43

Sharpandshineyteeth at the very least get them to brush their teeth, going to school unwashed and with smelly breath sounds minging, am surprised their pals aren't saying something

Ragwort · 02/02/2019 17:43

I would suggest it is better to accept that you need to wake them up rather than let them have their phones in their room. I was too laid back about not letting my DS keep his phone in his room at night & I wish I had been tougher. Although I still go & bash on his door on a school day occasionally as he can’t seem to get up on time despite having a phone and an alarm clock. He’s 17 Blush.

But why not buy your DC an alarm clock each?

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2019 17:44

I have left them once to walk because they weren’t in the car by 8am. I might start refusing to take them if they haven’t had a wash. But then part of me thinks it’s my responsibility to get them to school and on time. It’s sooooo hard.

If the school's within walking distance, I'd let them walk every single time they didn't get up with the alarm.

At age 14 and 15 it's not your responsibility to get them to school on time.

Tell the school you're teaching them independence and that you'll back every single detention for lateness.

wineandcatsandlego · 02/02/2019 17:46

Are you the mum on another thread asking if YABU for refusing your kids' detentions because you forgot to set their phone alarms? I'd say children definitely need to be taught their own time management, starting off with setting their own alarms and getting themselves up in a morning. Are we going to be left with a generation of adults who 'can't' get up in a morning and are late for work yet expect bosses to be sympathetic? I'd say it's not too late to start now, get some alarm clock radios from Argos (nice DABs are pretty cheap nowadays, or ones they can bluetooth their own music to so 'their' music to wake up to IFSWIM) and good luck!

Dox · 02/02/2019 17:46

we just don’t own any alarm clocks.
Under £2 Grin

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2019 17:49

Are you the mum on another thread asking if YABU for refusing your kids' detentions because you forgot to set their phone alarms?

Jesus I hope not.

The OP's kids are 14 and 12, not 4 and 2!

MegBusset · 02/02/2019 17:51

DS1 is 11 and has had an alarm clock in his room (not his phone) since the start of Y7 - he has to leave for school early so is the first of us to get up. He goes downstairs and gets his breakfast etc. Has inherited my hate of being late! I still wake DS2 up - he's 9.

We have the Amazon Echo set up to give reminders downstairs through the morning - this is more for DS2's benefit as he's the dawdler of the family.

Boyskeepswinging · 02/02/2019 17:52

We bought an alarm clock for my DS as he's not allowed his phone in his bedroom overnight. He's 14 and gets himself up, breakfasted, showered, dressed, packed and off to school by himself.

I'm teaching him to learn to look after himself so he's not completely clueless when he leaves home/goes to uni. So he's also gradually learning how to clean the house/food shop/cook/pay bills/decide on which suppliers to use etc. Surely teaching your children life skills is all part of being a parent?

woopdewoop · 02/02/2019 17:52

I have 13 and 15 year old ds. They leave their phones downstairs at night, along with iPads. They both use instagram - when their phones are downstairs they are dinging all night with messages and alerts, don't really want their sleep disturbed by that or tempted to stay up all night. They agree with this. They have alarms but never bloody get up as they are sooo sleepy all that growing. One of them is super organised the other not! There's no right or wrong on this I reckon. They always walk to school so that's a big driver for them being on time.

OxanaVorontsova · 02/02/2019 17:53

I wake mine up, they get themselves up and ready and out of the house in time for school though. DH and I leave the house long before they do. They've never been late.

Frouby · 02/02/2019 17:53

Dd is 14 and been getting herself up for school since the start of yr 7. She leaves at 8am, and wants to have time to do her hair and makeup and fanny arse around. I don't have to be up while 7am so I wasn't setting my alarm earlier to accommodate her routine.

I do sometime give her a shout about 7.15am if I hadn't heard her but she's always up.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 02/02/2019 18:01

My 16yr old gets up at 7.50 and is out the door by 8.30
So is my 17 yr old, Worra

She sets her own alarm, but if she's not up by 8, I'd knock on her door.

BTW, on the rare day she doesn't HAVE to get up early (she does sport both weekend days with early starts), I always, always let her sleep as long as possible, because i think teens need it

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