What Grown Up Thing Can You Not Do Despite Being A Grown Up?

[curlycat]

Revamping the living room. Want to buy new curtains but no matter how often someone explains it to me I cannot get my head round how to measure my window to buy the correct size.
I work in Finance - why can I not get my head round these numbers?
What Grown Up stuff can you not do?

Can't do up a bra
Can't wear heels any higher than flat!
Can't change a plug (oh the shame )
I can do eyeliner and lipstick, but when I attempt to put on foundation I just look like I have been tangoed sigh

Put up shelves/blinds, set up new TVs, paint without making an unholy mess. Flat pack IKEA is my limit for DIY.

Put air in my tyres without deflating one first.

Apply eyeshadow properly.

Take any of the good advice I can offer to other people!

Dress like a grown up. I go out with good intentions of buying frocks and skirts and blouses and court shoes and proper tights.

I come back with leggings, DMs and a novelty glow in the dark t-shirt 6 sizes too large.

Listen to people in electrical shops and take in the dribble about TV's. I have just tried again. It's a good job my husband was there 😂

Put on eye liner.

I can't
Drive
Swim
Walk in heels
Put on make up
Order a takeaway over the phone

I’m totally useless at applying make up or styling my hair (although my 14 year old DD can do both - how did she learn?)

I’m not great at using the phone. I hate phoning people I don’t know. I have this irrational fear that I’m going to disturb them. Even if I’m phoning somewhere professional where the person answering is being paid to do so.

I can drive and walk in heels though (although come to think of it I can’t actually drive in heels).

Oh and I’ve never cooked a roast dinner. I’m 43 . DH does most of the cooking in our house.

Drive
Understand politics. No matter how much I try I just can’t get to grips

In fact I struggle with a lot of mature conversations...

Pretending to like people.

Open jars

Walk in heels

Drink more than a couple of glasses of alcohol without a horrible hangover

Cook. I love eating but hate cooking; I can do it, but with zero enthusiasm or skill, and never enjoy eating what I’ve made. Luckily DP not only enjoys it, but prefers to do it with no outside interference.

If I ever end up single, I swear I’ll live on salad.

I'm crap with numbers. Any kind of numbers, from telephone numbers to our financial stuff.

Wear any kind of dainty, feminine open shoe (courts, ballet pumps etc). I was built with the wrong shaped feet and have to be firmly strapped in if I want the shoes to move around with me! It's surprisingly restrictive for matching dresses and skirts, particularly in the summer when boots are out.

Apply eyeliner without looking like a 7 year old's attempt to copy an 80s popstar.

I can't figure out how people keep a house clean and tidy.

I am better than I used to be but my house (and garden!) just seem to be constantly messy or dusty

High heels
Anything involving car repairs, MOT, services... Just can't handle it and regrettably have to always ask DP to handle anything car related.

Apply makeup, esp eyeliner
Have hair at back of head not look like Wurzel Gummidge
Know my alphabet without singing my ABCs
Commit to a tv boxset
Cook - I either cba or can’t think of anything.
Keep my house tidy - I don’t understand how it goes from tidy to “we’ve had squatters for 6 months”
Work an android phone
Keep plants alive
Understand why people change the decor or colour scheme of their rooms

Swim

Ride a bike confidently

Food shop (we don’t do a big shop ever)

Do the ironing (more of a won’t...)

Drive failed 5 a couple of tests.
Cook - hate it, resent it, I'd much rather iron or clean the bathroom.
Apply eyeliner, so I haven't bothered trying again in 30 years.
I could walk in high heels until I was pregnant, now my centre of gravity seems to have shifted and I cannot balance anymore.
I have learnt to say no, I have learnt to put up boundaries while maintaining respect.

I'm ok at DIY, I used to follow my DF around and be his assistant - basically being a Workmate before Black&Decker made one! Drilling a hole in the wall is scary cos if you fuck it up, you can't really hide it!

I love building flatpack and volunteer my services to friends when they've done a trip. In fact I volunteered at DS' school over the summer when they bought a ton of Kallax units and other bits, it was a lovely day with an Allen key.

I still feel like a big ole fake at work, I have no idea why they hired me or keep me on

Iron
Cook a roast dinner
Parallel park

Mop a floor I sloosh the mop about i get puddles it is just a disaster

Drive - I learnt from 13 ( private land ) but can't bear the to take test.
Maths/numbers - Can't do times tables and I have to count on my fingers.
Wear high heels - have no interest tbh.
Style my hair - it's up or down.
Cannot varnish my nails - one hand ok, other is shite, total mess!

Poach an egg

Im not too hot with the online banking I like to go in speak to somebody pay a bill however my branch closed and the next branch is all machines that terrify me and Ineed to get a bus to town because I don't drive!

I can't keep my house clean and tidy. Every time I do housework I just keep thinking "I'm sure I just did this" and yes, I did it yesterday, or last week, and they are indeed daily/weekly tasks. I want to get a cleaner but DH says we should be able to manage without one and tbf he does his share, it's me that can't be arsed to do my share.