Baby showers

[LetItSnowAllTheTime]

Yes or no? I'm not thinking of doing it for the gifts. I haven't had a hen party and I'd love to get everyone together.

What's everyone's thoughts

I don't like them for me but don't hate them vehemently if others want to. I don't get the deep seething hatred they attract.

I think they are naff and grabby.

I inwardly sigh and cringe when I get invited to them. But if it's a good friend I'd go and put the effort in.

Depends.

Pre-baby lunch or bbq, mixed crowd where no one needs to think of and bring a present? Lovely, good chance to catch up with everyone before baby arrives and the next 6-12 months flashes by in a blur. Would love to go to that.

Actual proper baby shower, with naff games, women only, an awkward atmosphere and an expectation of gifts? I’d probably decline.

You're just describing a party / relaxed social gathering. If you want one, arrange one.

It's pretty tacky to organise your own. People will give you gifts after the baby arrives safely. You come across as very grabby. So what if you didn't have a hen party?

I generally like the American version of baby showers but from what I've read here, I don't think I'd be keen on a UK version. I don't think they've been successfully adapted to the culture here.

That being said, I think there are lots of ways to celebrate a new baby and you don't have to call them all showers.

Baby showers seem tacky to me and hardly anyone I know had one. Why not just have a party or lunch? Or a meet the baby afternoon?

Don’t call it a baby shower and you’re winning.

Just on what’s app say that you’re probably going to be pretty busy for a while when baby arrives so why don’t we just get together for an adults only lunch and drinkies on [date] at [time] in [location].

Keep it light x

Don't call it a baby shower if it's not about gifts as the whole point of shower is to shower someone with presents.

Shower = short form of 'shower with gifts'

That is why you never host your own (grabby)

If you want to have a different sort of part before the baby comes, then do it. Just don't call it a shower.

You don’t organise your own baby shower. In my circle of friends it normal to have a low key ‘suprise’ party with close friends at someone else’s home.

We're going out for dinner for my birthday which is a month or so before baby due. And we'll probably have a BBQ over the summer as a 'hello baby' excuse to get together as there aren't any weddings in our group this year for the first time in ages! In fact off topic but I'm not going to single one this year AFAIK! So get together with your friends but do it in a way you would normally. It's poasible people might bring a little something for you or the baby but only in the same way as we always take flowers or booze or something for whoever is hosting anyway.

I generally like the American version of baby showers but from what I've read here, I don't think I'd be keen on a UK version. I don't think they've been successfully adapted to the culture here.

Yeah, the American version can be really nice. Usually low-key. On a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. All women (they don't all have games!), some nibbles and sometimes a bit of fizz, give gifts, go home after a couple of hours. Only for a first baby, never thrown by the mother, no charge to attend, no requests for cash gifts. Here it's just silly.

I'm not a fan of counting chickens before they hatch, though.

I don't understand why people are so snobby against them. Saying it's grabby and naff! Is a wedding or birthday not grabby then? When you get couples making of a wedding gift list? You wouldn't turn up to a birthday party empty handed so why a baby shower any different?

I see no problem with them it's a bit of fun and a catch up with friends and family what's so naff about that 🙄

No, thatsmyspace, because although it it rare, and can be rather rude, to go empty handed to a wedding or a birthday party those events are not held for the sole intention of showering the honouree with gifts.

There is nothing wrong with having a shower, you just never ever have st your own.

If you want to host, or do not want to compel gifts, then have a party which is not a shower. Because it's not a catch-all term f a parties during late pregnancy. It is a specific one with the giving of gifts as it's entire purpose

They're naff because they're an unwelcome American import with the sole purpose of being given gifts. They often involve games and themes - tacky. Opening gifts while everyone ooh's and aah's - tedious at best.

They're grabby because people are expected to bring gifts. This is a relatively new concept in this country, where we're used to buying a gift when the baby is born. Much nicer, imo or are people now expected to buy 2 gifts? My american friends have gift registries for their showers. This is the norm in the US, but imagine this idea coming here next!

Not the same as a birthday or wedding, in any way.

@EdWinchester @meditrina your both very wrong! Just because the title has "shower" in it doesn't mean exactly that. I've been to quite a few baby showers, some were told to not bring gifts and that's what happened. Also people that bring gifts to a baby shower don't then buy again when babies born. They've done it there's no need to buy again.

People have different baby showers you can't go by one bad experience and tar them all with the same brush.

I think the people who think these are grabby haven't actually ever been to one.

@TaimaandRanyasBestFriend at no point did I say I was arranging my own. A friend has mentioned arranging one for me and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
I've said I'm not doing it for gifts. I don't expect anyone to spend any money. Not sure how that's grabby!?

I like the idea of having a gathering, not calling it a shower and saying no gifts. I really don't expect gifts, the idea makes me a bit uncomfortable. I don't want to come across as grabby.

The reason I asked is because I kind of helped arrange one for the friend who is wanting to arrange one for me. I don't want to offend her by saying it's not my thing when she had one not that long ago.

Op did you get married? Did you think that was grabby. Everyone knows that you take a gift/give money at weddings and birthday party's. A baby shower is not grabby it's no different to the above 🖕🏼if you was happy to do those then a shower is no different. If you want one go for it.

OP maybe say to your friend because hers was recently and everyone enjoyed it, you'd like to do something different but still get together?

Then it's not a shower, LetIt, it's just some party that's 'Yay! Hurray! I'm pregnant!' if that's what you want then tell her to do it but it's not a baby shower.

I had one arranged by an American friend 15years ago when they were fairly uncommon here. All women, gifts, games, activities such as painting bibs, baby bingo, lots of baby-related decorations. It was weird, I didn't hate it but it felt very alien. I've never been invited to or been to one since but I am an old gimmer

I hate them!