Declining a CAF referral

[Cafetiere]

What happens if referral is pitbin but parents don’t want the CAF and involvement from professionals

If you are on facebook look up the group 'notfineinschool' it is a support group for parents of children with school based anxiety but there are lots of parents of children in school with SEN and lots of information on how to handle situations like yours with school.

The one thing that concerns me is who said the 'defamation' thing? It sounds like bullying to me.
Ring your local MASH team and ask for advice about what to do about these multiple unfounded referrals. You will need to work with them if they deem it necessary. That way you are being pro-active and co-operative. I would send school a sternly worded letter saying you will be taking legal action if more malicious referrals are forthcoming.

Is this regarding a specific child or several? What do you believe the problem is?
What harm are they referring to(medication,intrusive tests or procedures etc)?

I don't feel as though we are getting the full story here

Why not accept the TAF? At the ore meet raise the numerous referrals and say you want an outcome that these stop - ie that people have confidence in your parenting.

Pre not one

Surely if a consultant has made a formal medical diagnosis, that trumps a teacher's scepticism? Since when did being a qualified teacher make somebody qualified to overrule a medical diagnosis? It's madness.

If it was one CAF or one investigation that would be ok well not ok but I could cope with it but this is too much

Yes exactly , and I’ve shown all the consultants letters time and time again then I have to get up to date ones. I have all the proof and it seems to get me absolutely nowhere which I find frustrating and terrifying.

One thing I do have this time is all correspondence between professionals I think I need to take it all and address that as a huge amount of it is either gossipy or knowingly false and I think they need to know that I’ve read what they have written and actually ask some questions myself , maybe then this canbe the last time as I’m exhausted by it

A lot of speculating a lot of ‘there’s something I can’t put my finger on’ type comments then ‘maybe it’s this maybe it’s that ‘ which then 2 pages later is apparently fact

Have you done a sars?
Perhaps as another poster suggested try your MP.

Yes I did one for each place involved and it wasn’t good reading
But it enables me to put all my paperwork together to counter each and every inaccuracy

cafetiere in the nicest possible way, no one has time to fanny about doing referrals unnecessarily. "They take ages. If SS find 'nfa' then you'd have to be seriously worried make another one, let alone more than one.

I actually do believe that mud can stick, and a professional person with a be in their bonnet can do lasting damage. Reputation can make a huge difference in these circumstances and once a reputation is damaged, that damage always shows.

OP, was the solicitor you saw a specialist in this area? If not, I think you should find another one. I don't know where to start looking, but are there support groups (relating to your child's conditions, mothers accused of harming children, anything even slightly related really) where you might find recommendations for proper support and legal help? I think you need something with more power than we have, to be honest. I'm not saying that to somehow brush you off, but because you seem under such intolerable pressure and I would hate for any advice you got here to make that worse.

This is why I’m so surprised at the vague nature of the referrals
But I do believe that because of who instigated it all that is why we’ve had so many issues this was someone highly respected her background experience and opinion clearly meant a lot so she was able to be vague

What do the referrals actually say? What is the concern of the referrer?

Along the lines of ‘I can’t put my finger on it something is wrong ‘
‘Mother is fussing over the child’
He seems ok at school
‘Elements of munchausens behaviour ‘

Really vague. Not backed up by anything. Lots written about observing me and not being happy I wasnt sociable etc
This waaaomeine very well respected in education though so is that why vagueness was allowed and it was taken so seriously

How awful OP. I have grown up children but had real issues with the school with one of my DD's. She was a real handful & i think looking back i put pressure on the school because they were basically not helping her. I was also (i found this out accidentally) referred to the SS for alleged FI (i was never told or copied into the letter but found out 10 years later when DD pulled her files). I was astounded because I was never meant to know, SS did nothing - just wrote back to them saying its not their issue & asked why they hadn't discussed anything with me.
Its sometimes that the personalities can get in the way of moving forward & things get stuck. You sound very articulate OP & quite honestly the school don't seem to know what they're asking for or why.
There are a lot of good suggestions here - a meeting with the SS & /or the school governors maybe? Go through their referral reasons pointing out why they haven't been accepted by the SS & why they aren't valid, tell them how unsettling it is to keep being referred & say it's having an impact on your family life. In law you have the right to a private & family life (human rights act). This can be your 'big guns' if they are insistent on continuing with this. Its a bit like harassment but I would get advice about that before bringing it up as you don't want to make things worse.
Have you complained to the school or how have you responded to their concerns so far?

Later referrals talk about emotional development and not being allowed to do activities etc apparently due to my ‘anxiety and over protectiveness’ I had to show the invoices for out of school activities etc to prove I wasn’t causing isolation

Do you live in a small community OP? It just smacks of gossip gone out of control. 'Can't put my finger on it....something isn't right' ??!! How rubbish. No, referrals are meant to be based on facts & evidence, not on vague feelings or assumptions! I would consider taking steps to ensure that this doesn't keep having an impact on your family. Do what you have to - look after you & the children.

This is what I thought that there had to be clear concerns and it needed to be done properly but so much of it is vague or gossipy or contradictory
One part said that I made up allergies for attention and to prevent him taking part in school lunches or cookery activities
I had provided his test results and care plan
I was then told that I was attention seeking and being fussy and overprotective as I wanted him to have different food I literally can’t win

I wouldnt say it’s a small community more of a certain type of community and if you don’t fit in you never will and are judged harshly. Definitely an atmosphere of snobbery almost I’ve found throughout this process

Didn't they at one point have concerns about your inability to manage your daughter's diabetes?

Quite the opposite they thought she was over managed and blamed me but the care plan was set by hospital not me.
They also said my training had been ‘deliberately anxiety inducing’ when all I had used was the hospitals training material as at that point they wouldn’t travel to the hospital

There was also huge confusion over glucose readings and whether they were from finger pricks or readings from a monitor which then led to accusations of harm and i had to explain that i wasn’t performing too many finger pricks. It’s been one thing after another

I’m sorry OP. This sounds a nightmare. Can you discuss this with his consultants and ask them to write directly to SS to address this and perhaps with a stern wording (!). I have known this to work from a friend who had a school that essentially refused to accept her child was ill.

I would also ask to speak to a supervising social worker/ social work manager and take a solictor to be honest. It doesn’t sound like they are behaving professionally.
I’m a teacher and I have worked on these types of cases. Whilst you hope every does their jobs as they should, that doesn’t always happen.