Declining a CAF referral

[Cafetiere]

What happens if referral is pitbin but parents don’t want the CAF and involvement from professionals

Reading this thread has worried the hell out of me. Waiting a diagnosis of asd but dd has another serious condition the same as me. And it worries me to be treated this way as a nursery recently refused my dd as they were concerned 😦

I am just exhausted of going to the same meetings going over the same things taking all my proof and not being listened to time and time again. But what choice do I have ? Like others have said if I do refuse (which I really want to do) it will go against me but how can this keep cropping up time and time again.
Or am I just meant to somehow accept that our set of circumstances makes us a target that we somehow appear to be a worry and have to keep proving otherwise ? For how long though it’s utterly exhausting especially when dealing with day to day issues and this on top

Yes we have sought legal advice. I’ve posted before but probably over a year ago now as it’s been ongoing we are directed back to formal complaints procedures each time but never got a resolution and the i was told if I continued to complain I would have legal action taken against me

When I got all the social services files etc I was able to complain against anyone who had given knowingly false info as had evidence.
I was told ‘the evidence is not evidence’😳???? And that if I made others aware of it or pursued the complaint I would face legal action for defamation

I feel like I’m in a corner. That I have no choice except for every few months to be scrutinised and to have involvement we do not need or want but to refuse would be a red flag
😔

What did your solicitor say about it?

silkyanduna

He only advice I can offer is to keep records of EVERYTHING. Keep emails and texts
Have ALL hospital letters and test results in order and to hand
Keep care plans to hand

Having everything in order I think bad teally helped us as every time someone has said ‘this isn’t true’ or ‘this happened’ I can immediately counter an allegation

I've been in such a similar place to you, especially as I clashed with the HTeacher. Please get a copy of yours and your children's medical files and school files. You need to know who has said what and SS often don't tell you the full story. Feel free to PM me, it's taken 3 years but finally out the other side, having had to (very difficultly) prove I don't have FII.

It’s ongoing atm back and forth between various places

He said not to worry about the threat of defamation towards me. That there is no case as I haven’t done that. He explained what would be considered defamation and as I’d be complaining to official bodies it doesn’t apply. The threat worried me though.
My local councillor has been involved recently but that is also still ongoing
I feel like the more I try and resolve it the more tangled it becomes and again every so often we are judged yet again on the same old issues.

I feel like there’s no choice but to accept new referrals as and when they happen and each time explain but when is someone going to question this and why we are being treated like this ?

At first I was very confident as have nothing to hide but I’m so worn down now

So why not accept the CAF? If for no other reason than to prove there's no issue. I think that's what I'd do in your position.

cafetiete thank you. Yes I will do the nursery we were going to go said they were concerned with her walking and I need to get her walking checked out - there is nothing wrong with her walking at all. We see portage and they have told me to try somewhere else that’s more ‘welcoming’ so thst was kind of telling to me that the nursery didn’t treat us how they should have. It had outstanding ofstead so my dm thinks they didn’t want the hassle of my dd as be easier to maintain there outstanding record.

Just wanted to add your situation sound awful

The reason I’m questioning whether to actually accept this again is because we’ve been here before , so many times had all the team around the family meetings, had a social worker come round numerous times, had a lead professional and nothing has ever been achieved

All we seem to get is ‘professionals’ stating
‘Something is wrong but I can’t put my finger in what it is’

We have been totally open we have let so many people look round our house, speak to the children on their own, go through loads and lpads of medical stuff. We’ve been totally compliant and got nowhere I was just fed up of it and thinking should I say no this time
If I say no to CAF will it just end up as CP investigation (we’ve had that too-case was closed) it’s never ending

Do you mean school keep referring you to SS, who investigate and bounce it back? And now school want a TAF? Which is a lesser intervention?

*on

We have been referred by school but also have been previously referred by school nurses on the schools request and also has one referral by the nursery (again once received the files we could se that school had advised this if nursery had similar concerns to them)

It seems to have started way back in 2012 the then HT was v well respected and made a referral based on a feeling that something wasn’t right and mentioned munchausens and as she was so well respected it has stuck. She’s now left and it’s just filtered down it seems and we can’t shake it off

I'd say go with it. Mainly because it keeps happening. Even if you say now, it's very possible there will be a next one at some point where your refusal could be added to the list of complaints. I can't imagine how awful and frustrating this must be.
What does the current social worker say about the situation and how to stop it repeating if they have no concerns?

No allocation currently
The last one closed the case but the manager put a clause in that any further referrals would be looked at to see if the children needed safeguarding from ‘further harm’
They haven’t been harmed 😔

It's very strange that 3 separate professionals have made similar referrals. What is your sons diagnosis and who diagnosed it ?

I do feel that the fact the very first person to raise concerns was so ‘high up’ in education means that it was taken v seriously even when she started she basically just had a bad feeling about me
Nobody was prepared to question the opinion of someone so well respected ? Otsbuo tonis now to continually prove we are good parents

It’s up to us now that should say (fat fingers and typing too fast)

Multiple diagnoses and all made by consultants. I think that’s the issue so many medical conditions. I won’t list them all but the main ones that were ‘queried’ have been allergies, EDS and ASD

How old is he? Was he diagnosed by the NHS?

Yes all diagnoses via nhs and not at my insistence it was the consultant/s who said they wanted to test/assess so I wasn’t chasing any diagnoses

I feel like I am just going to have to just accept this regular intrusion into our lives as I’m scared to say no in case it makes us look guilty tbh
I honestly thought it would be easily cleared up the first time

No specific advice, OP, other than to maybe try going through it one more time, but making clear that you will be taking further legal advice if you are referred again, as you are not up for being repeatedly harassed by vexatious complainants?

Or mention you are thinking of getting your MP involved, as you feel you are being unfairly harassed? It's almost like you are being stalked by your child's teacher.

On a selfish note, as somebody with suspected EDS (not yet diagnosed) and POTS, with a previous diagnosis of CFS and a 3 year old with possible HFA, and diagnosed hypermobility and food intolerances, this thread has made my heart sink.....